Forevermore /// Taylor Swift

Sorry

Havyns pov
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We got home and Taylor went straight upstairs, I set my bags down before following her up. I saw her crying in her room, obviously the sea of tears she was holding back in the car. I knocked the door, walking into her room. I stood at the door, "I'm really sorry, Tay. I love you, I swear, I just thought you'd be better off."

She looked up at me, opening her arms for me. I accepted lying down on top of her.

"I don't want you to ever feel like a burden, you're everything to me, Havie." She spoke through her tears. I had officially broken her, which hurt me more than anything I had been through.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, I couldn't quite say anything else. I just hugged her tightly, resting my head on her chest, my forehead was touching her chin. She planted a kiss on my head softly.

"I've got you, okay?" She whispered, "I'm not letting you go."

I nodded, "I love you," I remembered the word I had use yesterday to Elliot, "mom."

"I love you, mom." I stared into her blue eyes, shocked at what I had just said. She was my mom, all of our mom. She deserved the title. She didn't deserve what I had put her through and I'll be forever sorry.

She squeezed me tighter than before, she lifted my chin so I was looking at her directly.

"Havyn, I want you here forever. All three of you. Nothing you do will ever be too much, okay?" Her voice cracked as she spoke. I just nodded, this was all my fault.

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Theo and Maisie arrived home after school, greeting Taylor with big hugs as they came through the door. I slowly came down the stairs, catching Theo's eye.

"Havie!!" He squealed running towards me, I crouched down on the bottom step. Allowing him to crash into my arms, I breathed him missing him so much.

"Hay hay!" Maisie beamed, joining us in our hug. How could I have been so stupid? I raised them, I protected them for everything. They needed me more than ever and I was thinking of disappearing on them?

"I'm so sorry." I whispered to them. I looked up at Taylor. She was leaning against the hallway wall, watching us with tears in her eyes.

Theo and Maisie ran upstairs to complete their homework as I turned to Taylor. She looked so fragile, I had broken her last night.

"I think maybe, we should think about homeschooling for you. Until you're ready for school again." Taylor whispered sadly.

I nodded, not opposed to the idea. I liked my friends but I wasn't ready for the world yet.

"Let's get some dinner." Taylor walked into the kitchen, I sank down onto the stairs. Tears filled my eyes, why did I ruin everything?

My phone buzzed, it was Lola, Elliot and Ella both checking in.

Freaks 😙

Ella- heyyy girl! How are you feeling?

Lola- let us know if you need anything babe.

Elliot- come over to Lola's tomorrow afterschool!

Me- thanks I'll see you at Lola's :)

I wasn't sure if Taylor would let me out of her sight or not but it was worth a try.

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Later on, Taylor was putting Theo and Maisie to bed. I heard her singing the bedtime song to them without me. I knew I was welcome to join them, it just didn't feel right. Not after yesterday. I sat waiting for Taylor to come back down, curled up in a ball on the couch. I heard the door unlock, fear spread through me like wildfires as Travis appeared in the doorway. My fear settled seeing him.

"Haves?" He stood shocked that I was back, taylor mustn't have told him.

I smiled slightly, unsure of his next move. He came towards me with his arms open, I jumped up and hugged him. I don't think we've ever hugged but I realised he is a safe person. He cares just like Taylor does. I squeezed him tightly, nuzzling my face into his chest as his strong arms held me.

"You really scared us, Havyn." He whispered, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"I know, I'm sorry." My voice quavered as I spoke, meaning every apology I was making. Travis let go, cupping my face staring into my blue eyes. I could see relief in his eyes, glad I was home. I heard Taylor behind him.

"Hey babe," he turned to her, "how are you?" I watched as he went to hug her but she dodged him. I knew if he hugged her she'd break down and I think he realised that as well.

"The kids are requesting you to tuck them in as well." Her voice came out as a whisper. He nodded, kissing her cheek and heading upstairs. Leaving Taylor and I standing in the living room together. I didn't know what to say or how to make it up to her. I must have really scared her last night. Maybe she thinks I'll run at any chance I'll get? I knew now that I'd never run again. Maybe she's questioning her worth? Maybe I've really screwed up this time?

"Tay." I whispered, unknowing in how to approach any conversation. She looked at me, her eyes were filled with hurt and guilt.

She grabbed my hand and led me to the couch, pulling me onto her lap. We were still staring into each other's eyes, I had a firm grip onto her shirt in a reassuring way.

"I never force you to talk," Taylor gulped back her tears, "but I need to know why you left."

I couldn't speak, my voice wouldn't work. I didn't know how to tell her that something just clicked inside of me, telling me to set them free from my trauma. I slowly gained some courage, she deserved the truth.

"I saw everything your fans said about you having me and I really just thought you'd be better off without the stress," I looked away from her, "I wanted to stay here but I didn't want to hurt you and somehow, I've done that anyway."

She raised my chin with her fingers to meet my eyes with hers, "Havyn, I was so scared for you. I can't lose any of you, my fans say stuff like that all the time. I've learnt to ignore it, and I'm sorry you had to read those comments."

She kissed my forehead, "I never said anything about it and that's what you need to think of whenever you read that stuff, okay? It didn't come from me. You're not too much for me but losing you forever would be, alright?"

She always found a way to word things perfectly, melting my heart slightly. She wanted me forever? She wanted all of us forever?

"I'm sorry, I should've came to you first." My voice whispered as I cuddled into her more, feeling safe once again.

I felt her head nod against mine, "I was so scared, Haves. I couldn't sleep or anything. You're important, don't forget that."

I put my head onto her chest in response, remembering her little note from my lunch yesterday.

"Thank you for the note." I smiled thinking about it. I should've listened to it before running.

"You're my girl." She whispered, trying to reassure both of us.

I nodded into her chest, I was her girl. Her daughter. Neither of us wanted that to change. I was glad that it was a mutual feeling. I realised I had called her mom earlier, I hadn't even asked if it was okay to do that. I started to build up the courage to check with her, breaking the silence we were in.

"So," I made my voice clearer for her, "I called you mom earlier."

She giggled, "you did, are you going to continue that?"

I shrugged, "do you want me to?"

"Whatever you're comfy calling me, I'm perfectly fine." She smiled, hugging me tighter.

She was my mom. She was our mom.

/// I missed writing the Taylor and Havyn fluff too much lol///