Forevermore /// Taylor Swift

Adoption?

The next few days were filled with phone calls and meetings with social workers. Taylor was trying to make the process become quicker as the anticipation of not knowing if my siblings could stay with us was killing all of us slowly. Well, Theo and Maisie hadn't a clue what was going on they were too young to understand.

I was sitting playing with the little two in the play room as I heard Taylor pace the corridor, almost shouting down the phone. None of us understood why it was taking so long for them to be processed into this family forever. It just made sense that they stayed here.

"Whys mommy always on the phone?" Theo questioned, he loved learning new things and he was so curious about everyone he meets. I loved it about him but Taylor and I agreed not to confuse or overwhelm them with this information.

"It's just part of her work, bud." I smiled, handing him a piece of Lego.

He nodded and started talking to Maisie about some tv show they've been watching. Taylor came back through to us, something was bothering her and I could tell. I could see it in her eyes, a darkness clouded over meaning she must have received bad news.

I shuffled over to sit next to her, leaning against her to provide some comfort. She just stayed put, staring into the distance of the playroom. I could tell she had a lot on her mind and it was bothering her. I put my head on her shoulder, looking up at her. She clicked out of her thoughts and glanced at me, showing a small smile.

"Is everything okay?" I whispered so the little two didn't hear this conversation.

She paused for a moment, trying to find the best way to word whatever she'd heard on that phone call.

"We need to go to court for them," she whispered back, "there's a chance we might lose them." Her voice broke as did my heart when she said the last sentence. I could lose my siblings?

I didn't know how to reply to her. I didn't know how to process that information as I watched my siblings play happily in front of me. What if we lost them?

I stood up, needing away from everyone. It wasn't Taylor's fault I know that but my heart couldn't handle anymore. I needed to be alone. I walked out towards my room, hearing Taylor call my name out behind me. Ignoring her I hid under my covers, thinking of what I could do to save them.

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I stayed in my room all evening, Taylor provided me the space I had requested and somehow kept the little ones out as well for me. I knew I should be spending as much time as possible with them right now but seeing their little happy faces breaks my heart knowing that could end so suddenly and soon. I hated that I would get to enjoy Taylor and have the safety of never being taken away the way they are.

There was a knock at my door as it slowly opened, revealing Travis. He must have just gotten home from training as his hair was wet from the shower and he looked exhausted.

"Can I come in?" He smiled at me.

I nodded, not wanting to speak to anyone. Not today. He came and sat on the edge of my bed, looking at the wall. Trying to process his thoughts as well.

"Haves, I promise we're going to fight so hard for them," he looked like he was about to cry, "Tay's really upset and I know you're hurting but it's not her fault, it's none of our faults."

"I don't blame her. Does she think that?" I whispered. Did she think I did? She's done so much for us and fought so hard I couldn't blame her for this.

He shook his head, "I don't think so, she's just upset about it all. She loves them as her own kids," he paused looking at me, "but I wanted to check on you, you've grown up with them and basically raised them. It's a lot of information for someone to process."

I shrugged, knowing he was worried about Taylor and he didn't need me screwing things up anymore.

"Haves, you can talk to me." He squeezed my hand as I caught his eye. Something in his eyes just made me want to cry. He was such a caring guy, any one of our biggest supporters. My eyes began to water as he pulled me in for a hug. I tried to fight him off but his arms are so strong, i slowly accepted the hug as i cried into him. He just rubbed my back in circles, keeping me close to his chest.

"I can't lose them." I managed to squeak out.

"I know, girly, I know. Neither can I." He kissed the top of my head. We both know he couldn't do anything to fix this mess, no one could. I knew I needed to apologise to Taylor, she was definitely blaming herself.

I sat up and wiped my tears as Travis stared at me intently. I looked up at him, "thank you."

He smiled with a sad glint in his eye, "I love you, Havyn. I love all three of you and I'll do everything to protect you all."

I smiled, nodding. Grateful for to have him as a father figure for all of us.

————

Travis had left my room a while ago to play with Maisie and Theo outside, after Maisie begged to play football before bed. I was still trying to recover from my breakdown with Travis earlier, knowing I should go and apologise to Taylor.

I made my way towards her room, hearing her sniffles from the corridor. She was crying because I couldn't communicate properly, my heart dropped with disappointment of myself. Taylor's done so much for me and this is how I repay her?

Opening the door slowly to see her tidying up the room a little with tears rolling down her cheeks, keeping herself busy probably trying to take her mind off everything that's happening.

"Tay?" I whispered as I stood awkwardly at the door. My eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill. I wouldn't let them, this wasn't about me it's about her and my actions towards her.

She glanced up, swiping her tears quickly as she looked at me. She looked nervous and scared of what I may say. I tilted my head slightly, giving her a small smile. Trying to reassure her that I'm not upset with her. I'm upset with the world and the system that controls our family. I knew it was hard for her to accept this as well, she poured her heart and soul into this family. She loves Maisie and Theo like her own kids, they are her kids. Maybe not by blood but by pure kindness and love.

I needed her to understand this. This is where we want to be, where we're meant to be. This is our family.

I took a deep breath and held my hand out for her. Begging myself to not cry and be dramatic, needing to reassure her this time.

/// another chapter!! Who clowned for the vmas? I can't lie I did but I know it's too soon for another release as well:) ///