"You know, Rob... I've been thinking."
"Hmmm?" Rob looked up from the book he was reading, glancing over at the crow sitting across from him. He sighed. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, just about this band of ours," replied the crow. "You, me, Jack, Mac.... something's been bothering me about it, and for the longest time, I was never able to figure out what it was... but I think I finally have!"
Rob rolled his eyes. "You're the one who put the band together in the first place, Martin. If something's not right with it, you've only got yourself to blame."
"Yes yes, I know!" said Martin. "And because I'm the one who caused the issue, it's only natural that I should be the one to fix it, right?"
Rob frowned. The white wolf had lived with Martin for close to a year now, long enough to know exactly where this was going. Whenever Martin had an idea like this, trouble of a certain sort was sure to follow, and Rob was certain that this scenario was no exception. Still, protesting would probably only lead to an argument, and Rob wasn't in the mood to deal with that right now. "All right then," he sighed. "What exactly is this issue that you need to fix so badly?"
"I'm glad you asked!" said Martin with a grin. "You see, I was thinking about the four of us, and I realized something: in terms of species, the band is rather mammal-heavy, isn't it? In fact, I think I'm the only non-mammal in the entire thing!"
"Your point being?" asked Rob. So far, this was turning out exactly like he expected it to.
"Diversity, Rob! Diversity!" said Martin. "You know how much I can't stand monotony! Things get boring when everything's the same, and when things are boring... well, I can't be expected to just set around and accept it, right? You know I have to do something about it!"
"Yes, of course," groaned Rob, shaking his head. "I know how much you hate it when everything is the same."
"Yes, exactly!" said Martin. "And that's the problem with this band right now! Lack of diversity in the species! Four members, and three of them are mammals! Two of them are canines, even!"
"Okay..." said Rob. "And you only just noticed this?"
"Well.... I guess so, yes," replied Martin sheepishly. "See, I was talking with Jack the other day, and he mentioned something about... wishing he knew more types of species, I think. And that's kind of when it occurred to me." He shook his head. "But that doesn't matter! The point is, there's an imbalance of species in this band, and it's up to me to fix it!"
"Lovely," said Rob, sighing again. "Not that I even need to ask, but how exactly do you plan on doing that?"
"Why, the only way I can, of course!" said Martin, grinning widely. "The two canines are the biggest problem here, so the best way to fix this is to transform one of them into something other than a mammal! Preferably something other than a bird, too. As nice as it would be to have some avian company, it's far more important to keep things as diverse as possible, right?"
"Yes, yes," said Rob. "Are you done yet?"
"Done with what? Talking? Hmmm..." Martin thought for a moment. "Well, I don't really have anything else to add, so... yes, I suppose I am."
"Alright, then," said Rob, standing up. Eyes narrowed, he looked over at Martin. "Let's get this over with."
"Oh? Offering yourself up willingly, are you?" asked Martin. "Learning to just sit back and enjoy the ride, huh?"
"I'm learning that there's no point in arguing with someone as stubborn as you, Martin," said Rob. "Just try to turn me into something I'll enjoy, okay? I don't want to be stuck as something I hate just because you decided that our band that YOU formed wasn't diverse enough."
