The One Who Stares Behind

KABANATA 44

Honestly, if he weren't like this, I wouldn't even consider him an "animal" or any other derogatory name. Maybe in a parallel world, he would be kinder.

He's tall, tanned, and undeniably has good features, but those qualities are overshadowed by the terrible, inhumane things he's done. It makes me question their existence—why are there bad people? Why do they make such choices? How can some people not know how to act like humans?

"I'm sure you're wondering what you've gotten yourself into right now. Let's just say you got involved with the wrong person and crossed me. The truth is, I'm a damn good person," he said, as I felt his fingers trail down my face, then to my neck, before returning to my face.

"Just get to the point and get your filthy hands off me."

"What is she even doing here?! I said don't fucking touch her, Giovanni!"

Bahagya akong natulala sa pagdating ni Xandrev at marahas nitong inalis ang kamay ng tinawag niyang Giovanni at itulak ang malaking lalaking nakahawak sa mga braso ko.

Suddenly, I felt like I could breathe again. I just want to be with Lexus right now. I want to sob and cry into his chest. He's the only escape I need.

"Gago ka!" Walang ano-anong kinwelyuhan ni Xandrev si Giovanni na ngumisi lamang at tumingin sa'kin.

"Relax, wala akong ginawa sa kanya. On the other hand, she's now ready for negotiation. Isn't that right, Zafhyrna?"

Ang kapal talaga ng gago.Umirap ako dito matapos ay hinawakan ko ang braso kong tila namanhid mula sa pagkakahawak ng malaking tao na yun.

"She’s just really concerned about your whereabouts. Did you say something to upset her?"

"Sinabi ng tumigil ka na, Giovanni!"

Kailan pa sila nagkakilala? This man stabbed him. So why are they acting like they already know each other and that Xandrev has control over him now?

"At ikaw, anong ginagawa mo dito?"

Hindi ako nagsalita. Ang dami ko sanang gustong itanong at sabihin ngunit parang hindi ko na gugustuhin na malaman pa. Sapat na ang nakita at narinig ko.

Kung sa ibang pagkakataon siguro ay naitapon ko na ang sarili ko dito at mahigpit itong niyakap. Pero ngayon, hindi. Wala akong makita maliban sa nagliliyab nitong mga mata na diretso lamang ang tingin sa akin.

If only I could silence the fire I see burning in his eyes.

Kahit hindi ako tumingin, alam kong nakamasid rin si Giovanni, naghihintay ng magiging hakbang ko. Hindi alintana ang mga nagkakagulong mga tao dahil kasalukuyan kaming nasa sulok ng basement.

"The hell, Giovanni!"

"Istorbo kasi. Go, you can continue your moment. Don't worry, he's still alive..for now."

Gusto kong masuka nang bumulagta sa harap ko ang lalaking tila wala ng malay. The guy was pushed and, unfortunately, fell right in front of us. Then this animal just stabbed him in the stomach. Blood is now flowing, creeping closer to me.

"Don't mind me, I was just surprised. That’s why—well, shit happens. It often does." He stopped when he realized what he’d said. "Oh, is that bad? Just get his body out of here."

Tumango ang malaking lalaki at walang kahirap hirap  na hinila ang kaawa awang lalaki na halos nag-aagaw buhay na.

"He was an ex-convict. My work here is done, so I'll leave you two."

Kahit nakadistansya na ito, naririnig ko parin ang pagsipol niya na para bang walang nagpapatayan sa paligid.
Nakakasuklam. Why do these kind of people lives?

Nanatili lamang akong nakakatitig kay Xandrev. Alam kong kahit hindi na ako magsalita ay nababasa na niya ang naiisip ko. Alam niyang alam kong nakikipagsabwatan siya sa kung ano bang matatawag sa pagsama nito sa lalaking 'yun. Wala akong karapatamg husgahan siya ngunit ayokong manatiling tanga at bulag.

What is this place? I'm seeing people who are drunk, high, or maybe even addicted? There are prostitutes and what might be criminal gangs. I am not sure how to categorize these people. It feels very dangerous. Are they here by their own choice, or they just trapped in this situation? Why haven't the authorities looked into what's goin on in this basement? And how did my brother become involved in all of this?

Should I call him a criminal as well? Did he also kill innocent people? I don't know what to believe anymore.

"Tapos ka na?"

"What?"

"Are you finished with your judgments about me? Even if you don't speak, your eyes clearly say it all."

"Hindi ko alam.."

"We both know what you are thinking." I heard him took a deep breath.

"Kailan ka pa naging parte nito? Bakit parang hindi na yata kita kilala?"

"There’s your answer to your question. You don't know me anymore, Zafhyrna."

His words felt like a knife continuously digging into my flesh.

"I gave you chances to explain, but all you did was push me out of your life."

"I don't owe you an explanation. It has to be—"

"Maybe you're right. You're not the person I knew anymore. You’re just like these scumbags who don’t know what to do with their lives."

I knew I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, so I let them flow. He didn’t care anyway.

"Have a good life, Xandrev Ross." Lumapit ako dito para dampian ng halik ang kanyang pisngi at bumulong. "It's nice knowing you, Xandrev—"

"Zafhyrna!"

I was in shock as I stared at the knife buried in my stomach. I felt the cold steel in my flesh and a rush of emotions—fear, anger, and pain—swirling inside me, but nothing made sense.

Am I about to die? I want to remember all these moments...

My body gave way, and I fell into his arms before I could hit the ground.

"Giovanni!!"

"The fuck! This isn't my doing, Ross! Bakit ako ang sinisisi mo?!"

"Zafhyrna, come on. Gumising ka! You're okay.. you'll be okay."

"Go, run after that asshole and slide this knife into his throat.."

I could still hear them talking. I could feel him holding my hands tightly. I’m still alive, for now.

“You still have a soft spot for her. I told you she’s just collateral damage.”

My vision is blurring, and I can feel myself about to close my eyes.

Everything went dark.