I didn't realize where I was going until I found myself driving aimlessly. I eventually stopped my car in front of the Elite Bar here in Nostalgia Valley.
Suot ang puting sando na pinaresan ng maong na pantalon at highcut na black boots ay bumaba na ako sa kotse at tuluyan ng iginiya ang sarili ko papasok sa loob.
Kaagad akong tumungo sa counter table para kumuha ng maiinom na hindi pinapansin ang presensya ni Maui doon na tahimik lamang na umiinom.
I sat on the high stand chair next to her and only then did I manage to take a good look around.
"Elijah Craig," I said to the bartender, causing him to glance sideways at me.
"What brings you here, Zafhyrna?" She asked, eventually giving a slight smirk.
"You don't own this bar. Shut up," I replied, which made her laugh.
Drunk Maureen.
"Funny!" Napapailing niyang komento habang magkasunod na nilagok ang laman ng tatlong shot glass na nasa harap nito.
Magisa yata ito at wala ang mga impakta niyang mga alagad. Well, that is much better. But looking at Maui, she wasn't the woman I had known for almost five years. She looked so wasted. This wasn't the woman I used to envy for El's attention.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You don't own my eyes-"
She cut me off. "Shut up," she said, mimicking my words.
"Alam kong.. sasabihin mo yan.. hmm kaya inunahan na.. kita." Dagdag pa nito na tila natamaan na ng alak.
Bigla ay napangiti ako sa iniasta nito at nilagok ang whiskey na nasa harap ko na rin pala.
"Zafhyrna... life doesn't play fair no?" she muttered.
Muli akong napalingon dito ngunit nakatungo lamang ang kanyang ulo at pinaglalaruan ng mga daliri niya ang baso na may laman na namang alak.
When you're drunk, you are not in control of your emotions and actions. It will completely take over your system.
Hindi ako nagsalita. Hindi ako nagtanong. Hindi ko ugali yun.
"The truth was finally revealed, and I can't just fucking accept it like hell!"
It was evident on her face that all the hidden emotions were gradually coming to the surface.
"You know what? I-it h-hurts a little. Yeah! Y-you h..heard it right. J..just a little." She said and then her shoulders began to move as she laughs.
"I would like to have Buffalo Trace," muli kong tugon sa bartender. Tumango naman agad ito.
"I am hurt... but I don't know why suddenly this fucking truth didn't affect me at all. Jesus! It made me happy. I felt free from the truth. Damn!"
What truth is she talking about? Is it about El?
"What are you talking about, Maui?" I couldn't help but ask.
"El never loved me. He never did. Well... h-he's not supposed to."
Muli ay nagpakawala na naman ito ng isang mahinang tawa dahilan para kumunot ang aking noo.
"What do you mean?"
"It means... the truth, you don't have to find it. The truth... has its own way of haunting you."
I didn't get her. I didn't know who or what she was referring to.
"We're just victims of lies. Nah! I'm the only one! Haha."
"Anong ginawa sayo ni El?" seryosong tanong ko.
Naisip ko na baka may kinalaman ito sa nangyaring tagpo namin nito kahapon.
Tiningnan naman ako nito bago ngumiti. "What? He did nothing. H-he's just inlove with you."
Hindi ko namalayang ang isang kamay nito ay humahaplos na sa buhok kong nakalugay.. Tinitigan ko ito gamit ang nagtatakang emosyon ngunit wala akong nakuhang sagot.
"And I know you also feel the same thing. I was there. I was watching you from behind," she said, a bitter smile crossing her lips.
Not anymore, Maui. I'm into someone I'm not so sure about. I miss him. I do miss him.
Nilagok kong muli ang alak sa baso sa isiping yun. Hanggang sa napukaw na lamang ang pansin ko nang magsimulang tumugtog ang banda ng isang musika na unti-unting nagpaingay sa buong paligid.
"This time, this place, misused, mistakes
Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just incase there's just one left
Cause you know , you know, you know.."
Natigilan ako sa tinig na namamayani sa lugar na kinaroroonan ko ngayon.
Napakalamig at ang lalim ng boses nito. Sapat na para maramdaman ang libo libong boltaheng ibinibigay nito sa pakiramdam ko ngayon.
Awtomatikong hinanap ng aking mga mata ang nagmamay ari ng boses na iyon. Hanggang sa natagpuan na nito ang kanyang hinahanap. Kapwa kami napatitig sa isa't isa.
May kung anong tumusok sa dibdib ko habang ang pares ng matang iyon ay nanatiling nasa akin.
"That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep drraming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you amymore"
"Most of the time we're fooled. We're really foolish when it comes to love. We're brave in other things, but when it comes to this... we're weak."
I couldn't bring myself to look at Maui as she spoke because my gaze was fixed on the man who was currently disrupting my entire system.
Ngunit hindi nakaligtas sa pandinig ko ang mga sinabi nito.
"On my knees, I'll ask last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of gell to hold your hand
I'd give it all I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
Cause you know,you know, you know"
"I'll go, Zafhyrna," she said.
It was only then that I noticed her standing up from her seat.
"Lasing ka, Maui. Hayaan mong ihatid kita." akma na rin sana akong tatayo nang pigilan ako nito at ngumiti.
"I've already called my driver. I won't go home alone. Besides, I'm not that drunk... just tipsy. And you, stay here. I can see that fire in your eyes." Matapos ay tumingin ito sa bandang tumutugtog sa unahan at ngumiti.
Ngumiti rin ako dito. Hindi ko inakala na makikita ko ang totoong Maureen Embry sa mga sandaling ito.
"Keep your eyes on him. Who knows how long it will last?"
Muli akong tumingin sa unahan at nakapako parin ang mga tingin nito kung nasaan ako.
Ngayon, alam ko na kung bakit may kung anong tumutusok sa dibdib ko. Dahil pala iyon sa mga mata niyang walang emosyong nakatingin sakin.
Napapikit ako sa isiping iyon.
"Who knows, this could be your last shot. Don't waste it. Goodbye, Zafhyrna." Naramdaman ko na lamang ang pagdampi ng malambot nitong labi sa pisngi ko.
Nang imulat ko ang mata ko ay tuluyan na itong nakalayo habang akay ng isang lalaki.
"I wanted, I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed, I needed to hear you say
That I love you, I have loved ypu all along
And I forgive yoy,for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it,hold on to me
Never let me go, keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Hold on to me and never let me go.."
BINABASA MO ANG
The One Who Stares Behind
RomanceWhile I was desperately searching for answers, I stumbled upon you-unexpectedly finding you amidst the chaos that even I couldn't untangle. You arrived just when I needed someone the most, yet despite your presence, everything still feels so wrong.
