The One Who Stares Behind

KABANATA 20

I made my way to Estrella Park, and it's much quieter now—most people are probably getting ready for the grand ball later. Meanwhile, I'm just here under a tree, watching the world go by.

I rested my head against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes. Is it too much to hope for if all I want at this moment is to be with him?

Hindi ko alam ngunit parang may tumutulak sa'kin sa isang bagay na hindi ko rin maintindihan.

Is he really the one I want to be with? Why does it feel like something is wrong? Is it still right to fight for my feelings for him? Because right now, I'm confused.

"That I loved you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away been far too long"

Gulat akong napatingin sa itaas nang marinig kong dito nanggaling ang pamilyar na boses na iyon. Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali.

I stared at him, and when our eyes met, he quickly looked away before jumping down from the tree.

Damn, he really is like a monkey. He likes to eat bananas, and now seeing him up in the tree?

"Lexus," hindi ito lumingon sa halip ay diretso itong naglakad palayo ngunit tumayo ako at hinabol ito.

"Iniiwasan mo ba ako?" hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko kung bakit ito ang mga salitang lumabas sa bibig ko.

Huminto ito at humarap sa akin.
Bigla akong kinabahan sa paraan ng pagtitig niya. Lumapit ito at ako naman ang napaatras. Nagulat na lamang ako nang abutin niya ang kamay ko at may inilagay doon.

Sa unang pagkakataon, imbes na mainis ay napangiti ako. Isang piraso ng saging.

Napapailing akong ngumiti habang pinagmamasdan itong lumakad papalayo ngunit bago pa ito tuluyang lumayo, muli itong lumingon sa direksyon ko.

"Don't chase me once I've turned my back. Because I will keep coming back to you while you keep stepping away."

The words he spoke were meaningful, but at that moment, my mind couldn't comprehend them.

I just shook my head and returned to the dormitory. That's when I realized I still didn't have a date for tonight.

Bigla tuloy pumasok sa isipan ko si Anne. I'm already failing to find my knight in shining armor, and I haven't even seen my prince charming. Even just for tonight. But then again, it's not a big deal. It's just another ordinary night that will come and go.

If it's not going to be him, maybe it's better if there's no one at all.

I finally got inside and saw that they were already preparing.

"Zafh! Over here! Nandito na yung magpapabongga ng beauty mo oh. Saan ka pa nagpupupunta?" bungad sa'kin ni Debbie na kasalukuyan ng inaayusan.

"Somewhere silent, unlike here."

Ilang sandali pa ang lumipas at nakita ko na lamang ang sarili kong nakaupo at nakaharap sa salamin habang unaayusan na ng make up artist at hair stylist na ipinadala ni mama.

I took out my cellphone and opened the Facebook app. I checked the friend requests and scrolled down, but I still couldn't find what I was looking for. I tried typing his name into the search bar.

Lexus Seth Rosetti.
Add friend.

Bigla akong natigilan.

"Something wrong, madam?"

"Nothing. Continue what you're doing."

So he cancelled his friend request Tiningnan ko rin ang timeline nito. Mayroon itong latest post, 1 hour ago. 1.2k likes and 478 comments?
He's famous even in social media.

Lexus Seth Rosetti
Maybe that's it. We eventually go numb; because you can't break a heart that's already broken.

Shanaia Trinidad:
Oh my G! Are you hurt baby?

Baby huh?

Zhari Miranda
I am just right here.

Rei Vasquez
He's a total bitch for breaking your heart.

Lexus Seth Rosetti replied.
She is not.

"Oh. Lover boy? So he's into someone? Why? Am I bothered by this?

Nagscroll pa ako at nagbasa ng ilang comments doon. Puro naman halos babae ang mga nagko-comment doon. He has a powerful charm ha. Is he really that popular?

Oh my God! Did I just hit the 'Add Friend' button?!"

"Shit!" I shouted, realizing what I had done.

"Ma'am?"

"Oh sorry," paumanhin ko sa make up artist.

Lexus Seth Rosetti accepted your friend request.

I was almost speechless with shock. This is so bad. In frustration, I quickly turned off my phone and placed it on the table. My face was burning, and I could feel the flush of embarrassment.

It took nearly an hour before we finished getting ready. I went for a light makeup, just enough to highlight my features. My hair was styled in a messy bun, with a few strands falling loosely around my face.

"Ma'am, eto na po ang red stilleto at gown nyo."

Pumasok na muna ako sa dressing room ng kwarto kasama ang dalawang assistant ko para magpalit.

"Ms. Zafhyrna, you really looked like Ms. AZ."

"I woudn't be her daughter if I am not." nakangiting tugon ko dito.

"Napakaganda niyo po. Napakaswerte ng date nyo ngayong gabi." there you hit the button girl.

"Thank you, pwede nyo na akong iwan dito." tumango silang dalawa para magpaalam.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Many say that I resemble my mother, sharing the Valderama features. While I inherited my American-Spanish complexion and height from my father.

Wala sa sarili akong napangiti. I miss them.

My phone beeped.

From: Drev
See you tonight. I love you.

Bakit nga ba hindi ko nakita ang presensya ni Xandrev kanina?

Imbes na magreply ay tinago ko na lamang ang phone sa maliit na bag na gagamitin ko.

I willed myself to see my reflection on the mirror again and I even surprised to see myself. It feels like I'm wearing nothing.

I opened the door, and the stunning faces of Anne, Debbie, and Lynne greeted me. The goddesses were in the house.

But it seemed they were the ones surprised by my presence."You are a perfect resemblance of goddess Venus!" manghang sabi ni Debbie.

Hindi niya ba nakikita ang sarili niya sa salamin? She's too pretty tonight with her turtle neck gown. Habang ang buhok naman nito ay paikot na nakabraid.

"Ang ganda mo rin Debbie, just act like a normal kid." Natawa naman kaming tatlo habang nakanguso namang nagpalipat lipat ng tingin sa'min si Debbie na kalauna'y natawa na rin.

Napakaganda ni Lynne sa sleveless peach gown nito habang hinayaan na lamang niyang nakalugay ang tuwid at mahaba nitong buhok.

Ngumiti akong tumingin kay Anne. She's so damn sexy almost exposing everything in her body but in elegant way. Her hair was styled to the side, with some strands left hanging near her face.

"Why ya' lookin me in that way?
We're both exposing our boobs here!"

Napuno ang kwartong iyon ng tawanan bago namin napagpasyahang lumabas.

There's a rule that at the entrance of the Eternity Hall, the man will wait for his date. That fuckin' rule! The worst part is that no one will be waiting for me at the entrance.

I just bit the lower part of my lip.