The Space Between

Chapter 29: Ending trauma

I nervously typed a message to Derek, my fingers trembling. I let him know that I was back from Canada and ready to talk. I wanted to clear the air and understand what he needed to say. Derek responded promptly, suggesting we meet at a café outside of town. He didn’t want any campus interference, which made sense given the recent tension.

I agreed but asked if Emma could accompany me. I wasn’t ready to face Derek alone, especially after everything that had happened. Derek was fine with Emma being there, as long as she gave us some personal space for a few minutes. We settled on that arrangement.

Emma and I arrived at the café, and I spotted Derek sitting at a corner table, waiting patiently. As we walked in, the bell above the door chimed. Derek’s gaze met mine, and I saw a flicker of something—perhaps regret or relief—in his eyes. We took our seats, and Derek wasted no time.

“I’m sorry,” he began, his voice steady but sincere. “I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble or fear. I just wanted to talk to you and apologize for everything. Bianca was the one who called me, trying to stir up trouble. I used her as a means to reach you when you weren’t picking up my calls. I didn’t handle things well.”

He then slowly pulled out a small, worn diary from his bag. My eyes widened as I recognized it immediately. It was Mia’s diary, the one she had kept so close to her heart. Derek continued, “I found this while going through some old things at my house. It was in a box that I hadn’t looked at for years. I finally had the courage to go through it, and I found this diary. It’s been with me for a long time.”

As he handed me the diary, I felt tears welling up. I opened it carefully, and inside were letters written by Mia. The letters spoke of admiration and love, how Mia had looked up to me and cherished the bond we shared. They were heartfelt and filled with a kind of vulnerability that I hadn’t expected.

I could hardly believe what I was reading :

Dear Diary,

Today was a very special day! Derek’s girlfriend, Sophia, made muffins, and they were my favorite! I saved some for later, but then I ate them all. They were just too delicious to resist!

Derek and Sophia are such a great couple. They look just like the couple on a wedding cake, and I really hope they get married someday. I want Derek to be the prince charming who sweeps Sophia off her feet, just like in fairy tales.

I think Sophia is really nice, and I hope I can be like her when I grow up. She’s kind and beautiful, and she makes Derek so happy. I hope I can be just like her one day.

Love, Mia

(End of letter)

Tears welled up in my eyes as the memory of little Mia and me singing in the kitchen to the point of her being not found when i woke up in the hospital. One decision had changed my life and turned it upside down.

Derek’s eyes met mine again, and I saw the raw honesty in them. “I’m really sorry, Sophia. I hope you can understand that my actions were misguided, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

I nodded slowly, still absorbing the depth of Derek’s feelings and Mia’s affection. This was a side of Derek I hadn’t seen before, and it made me realize that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for closure.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. “Derek, I’m truly sorry for the loss of Mia. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through. If not for Logan, none of this would have happened.”

Derek nodded, his expression softening. “I appreciate that, Sophia. I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s happened. I plan to transfer to Columbia if you’re willing to give us a chance. I know it’s a lot to ask.”

Emma, sensing the gravity of the moment, quietly excused herself from the conversation, leaving Derek and me alone.

Derek took a deep breath, his voice tinged with vulnerability. “I’m not over you, Sophia. I haven’t been with anyone else. I remember the picnics, the movie nights we had with Mia. We had such plans, like our promise on Valentine’s Day to attend college together. I still believe we’re meant to be.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened. I was silent for a moment, my heart heavy. Derek reached out and gently held my hand, but I pulled away, unable to meet his gaze. His face fell, a mixture of sadness and confusion.

“I like someone else now,” I said quietly. Derek’s face showed shock and devastation. “I’m sorry, Derek. I realize now that maybe the gap between us pushed our bond too far." Derek understandingly, "Maybe I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault. I regret it, and I respect your decision to move on. And also i would suggest you stay careful of Bianca as she is one cunning person. "

Derek’s eyes were filled with pain, but he nodded slowly. “I guess it’s time for both of us to find closure and move on.”

With a final, bittersweet smile, I stood up. Derek and I exchanged a few more words of farewell before I rejoined Emma. I briefed her on what happened, relieved to have cleared the air with Derek. We walked back to the dorm together, the weight of the conversation hanging heavily but with a sense of finality that made the future feel a little clearer.