good luck, babe! - lynn loud

winner

one thing everyone knew was lynn loud never lost at anything, and if there was a competition for making nessa feel as bad as possible, shed win that to. no one had ever made her hurt the way she did now. it was like a dagger shot straight to the heart and she couldnt even tell anyone.

the worst part was she knew lynn knew her better than anyone else and how much she cared, but still she belived augustine or ben or whoever told her and not even ask nessa about it before accusing her. maybe she just needed to realize they were never meant to be? lynn couldnt even hold her hand in public and she knew deep down she really wanted someone to be proud to be with her, but why did she feel so guilty? lynn was the one who let it get this bad.

she had stayed in bed for 2 days, lying to her mom saying she wasnt feeling well. she really didnt so it technically wasnt a lie. but it was the last day before break and now she was forced. her plan was just to stay with eva the whole day and not even shoot a look in the athletes direction. easy.

or not so easy. not when she seemed to be everywhere. not helping with the case was the pouring rain, meaning everyone was inside inbetween the lessons, including lynn and her friends. so instead of being outside playing soccer with her teammates, they were all inside. 

eva did her best at distracting her and pulled her aside everytime she saw either augustine, ben or lynn, something nessa was beyond greatful for. maybe even worse than seeing lynn, was her old friends. it was like as long as they got to pick on everyone else, theyd be fine and apparently nessa was extra fun to push around.

the parking lot was packed when she walked out, then she remembered it probably was because of lynns game that shed talked about before. not a second did she think about going, because why would she want to? they were probably going to win anyway and it didnt interest her at all. plus it was freezing because of the rain. right now she was going to go back home and rot in bed for a couple hours until she started feeling guilty for being useless, then go for a walk to 'clear her head', but in reality it was mostly making the voices in her head scream 10 times louder and her regret every word shes ever let out of her mouth.

she didnt bother to do anything about the raindrops running down her face as she walked. honestly, she liked the feeling of the cold water trailing over her skin. it made her feel something, even if it was just cold. in her airpods was casual by chappell roan playing, something that fitteted very well because she hadnt been casual about anything ever, and probably never would either.

the last hill before she could turn into her street and driveway did not look very tempting from afar and only looked worse the closer she got

she barely had any energy left when she stepped in the door, only focusing on not to trip over her own feet on her way up the stairs. a small thud was heard when she pretty much faceplanted onto her bed. 

a knock on the door broke the silence, causing her head to snap up, waking her from her half asleep state. her mom peaked her head into the room. "could you come with me to the store?" she asked, sending a small smile. nessa sighed and nodded, seeing her perfect plan was already going south.

in the bathroom mirror she saw the smudged mascara that had stained onto her cheeks. she only took a makeup wipe and removed it, not caring to put on more. it didnt matter that much anyway.

"is everything alright?" her mom asked, looking over from the other side of the car. nessa hummed in response, not understanding how she could be so easy to read. she was sure there was nothing about her appearance that said she wasnt. well maybe except for the way she emptily stared out the window, not saying a word when she usually would be on about some movie she watched or an artist dropping a new album.  

her mom looked back for a second before turning her attention back to the road. "are you sure?" there was a look of concern in her face, almost like she knew she was lying. "yeah, im just tired" nessa shoot a look over to her and sent her a smile.

the amount of people in the store was a few too many for nessas liking, meaning there was a normal number of people there. 

nessas mom looked over her, furrowing her brows a little. "isnt that your friend?" nessas heart imidiately sunk, recognizing the figure in an instant. "uh, i dont know" she lied, turning her back in the direction of the athlete, not wanting her to see her. "you can go talk to her, i can do this myself" she nodded with a smile, making nessa protest, but quickly give in so her mom wouldnt suspect anything.

she really didnt know how her mom would react if she foud out her daughter was gay. it was just who she was attracted to, it shouldnt be a big deal, but what if? 

nessa didnt walk over to lynn. not because lynn had made it very clear she didnt want anything to do with her, but because she didnt want to herself. instead she hid behind one of the shelves waiting for her mom to message her telling her they were leaving. she was done with lynn.

A/N

the way theres almost no dialogue in this and barely 1000 words is embarrassing

also wanted to say sorry if i dont reply to some comments, its just cause im horrible at interacting and have no idea what to say, but some of them make me genuinly giggle 

i just realized how annoying it is that i dont use these things ' (i dont know how to dont kill me)

can we please forget about the dad in this and pretend she just lives with her mom bc i regret bringing him in as a character in the first place

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