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causal-chappell roan 'i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn't lose'
the walls of lynn's room had never looked so boring. no matter how many times she tossed, her whole body was aching to turn around again. her eyes were heavy and begging for sleep, but her mind wasn't tired at all. a notification from her phone lit up the dark room. she turned to face it, but uninterested looked away, seeing it was from instagram.
she shot a look over at the running shoes sitting by the door. she thought about it for a minute, but who cared anyway? silently she lifted the duvet of herself, changing her tshirt into a long sleeved jumper. like most of her other clothes, it was red with a visible number 1 on the front.
she quietly opened the front door, careful not to wake up any of her siblings or parents. the streetlights gave a yellowish tone on the pavement. a blanket of clouds rested over the stars, preventing them from shining. not craing to stretch first, she started running down the street.
even tho she went outside to silence the thoughts that wouldn't shut up, they only seemed to grow louder at every step she took. when she passed the school she felt her legs starting to get heavier. she checked the time, seeing it had only been 25 minutes since she left. still she turned around so she could at least get a few hours of sleep.
as expected, waking up was not very fun, let alone easy. the lack of sleep being the reason for the bags under her eyes. "goodmoring sunshine" luna joked when lynn stepped into the kithcen. as a response she threw the ball she was holding at her head. "someone's in a good mood" she laughed at her clearly annoyed little sister.
the second the athlete innhaled the school air, she got a headache. sometimes she wondered if they knew what aerating was. her backpack hit the ground as she sat down on the very hard chairs the school had invested in. it really felt like they didn't even try to make it enjoyable to be there.
lynn's heartrate sped up as she saw vanessa walk into the classroom behind augustine and mia, who all gave her dirty looks. she tried her best not to seem bothered by it, but she wasn't fooling anyone. she cared. that's when she understood she had to swallow her own feelings and tell nessa why she did what she did to not hurt her feelings anymore. she decided on after school before practise.
vanessa walked behind the blonde and the redhead on her way to english class. she wasn't really paying attention to what they were talking about, but she could tell it was something about ben as he was mentioned multiple times.
on the search for an empty seat, she met lynn's stare. her eyes made a rolling motion, before walking to the other end of the classroom with augustine and mia. nessa noticed they were talking about how ben wasn't at school today and that they felt so bad for him.
"why, what happened to him?" she gave them a questioning look. she couldn't decide if the faces they gave each other were because they were shocked, or if they were making fun of her. "you don't know? lynn broke up with him" mia answered, making sure not to speak too loud so lynn wouldnt hear they were talking about her. "yeah i thought you knew, he wrote it in the group chat" augustine added.
vanessa tried hiding the way her face dropped after hearing the last sentence. there was a group chat, but that hadn't been used in weeks. to be honest she wasn't even shocked. just disappointed to know that they actually took the time to make another group chat without her in.
"i guess i forgot to read it" nessa shrugged her shoulders, avoiding eye contact with the two girls, afraid they'd see the way her eyes were getting blanker. they continued on with their gossiping as the lesson went on, but nessa wasn't listening anymore. guessing by how fast the conversation switched from one person to another, she was pretty sure they knew everything about everyone, so being rude to them was not an option.
"excuse me" nessa got up and walked to the bathroom. she turned on the sink and stared into her own eyes in the mirror, before putting her hand under the water that was running. her cold palm against her forehead made her shoulders relax. she blinked fast to stop the tears that were threatening to spill.
the one of the bathroom stalls opened and a brunette walked out of the room without shooting a gaze in nessa's direction. when the sound of the door shutting never came she turned to see the last person she wanted to be alone in the bathroom with standing a few feet away from her. the silence between them was so thick, you could cut through it with a knife.
"what?" nessa had an irritated tone in her voice, trying to tell lynn she didn't want to talk. "nessa, can you please just listen to me? i'm so sorry-" nessa cut in, not caring to let her finish. "i don't care! you did what you did, so don't come here saying your sorry. go cry to somewhere else" she was about to walk out, but lynn snapped back. "why are you so angry? i am literally standing here trying to apologize to you, but you won't even listen to what i have to say?!" it was clear she was angry, not even getting to finish her sentence before being cut off.
"you were the one who completely ignored my messages and ghosted me for a week. still you wonder why im bitter?!" nessa pushed past her and through the door. she wasn't sure where she was headed, but she knew she wasn't staying at school anymore.
nessa could see the heavy, dark clouds that were filled with rain, giving her no other choice but to go home. the rest of the day she spent either staring out the window, or the ceiling. her phone was in her bag that she left at school, so there wasn't really much to do. luckily for her, her bedroom was on the 1st floor, so she could sneak in the window that was left open. not long after getting in, she discovered none of her parents were home, so she could walk around the house without being questioned why she was home when she should be at school.
the sound of raindrops hitting the roof filled the room. nessa closed her eyes and listened to the sound. in her opinion it was free therapy. a cold breeze was sent through the half-opened window, making the curtains fly for a second.
nessa could hear the sound of tapping on her window, causing her head to snap in the direction. as she was walking towards the window, she could see a familiar red jacket. once again lynn offered a smile and as expected, getting nothing in return.
"i don't want to talk, just go away" she replied annoyed, noticing the bag in her hands. "please, vanessa" lynn's voice was softer and not as raspy like it used to be. "please, just give me my bag" vanessa held out her hand. the athlete stared at it for a second before shoving her the bag. without another word nessa closed the window.
