good luck, babe! - lynn loud

cardigan

lynn thought long and hard about what her sister had said. 'call me when you want help getting her back'? who did luna think she was? couldnt she just mind her own business and stop putting her nose where it didnt belong? didnt she also have a girlfriend of her own to worry about?

and who even said lynn wanted nessa back? why would she? even though a tiny pit of guilt was really starting to catch up to her, there was no way she was ever going to admit that. or maybe it was regret. all she knew was that it was not a good feeling.

she made a promise to herself to not give nessa any of her time. she had better things to think about. cause if she didnt then there was no way she would still felt the weird feeling of abash that she so wanted to steer past when she had to see her again.

nessa was really regreting talking to eva about what was her outrageous love life. she was actually starting to not feel like dying whenever she thought about the topic, but of course she self sabotaged it. just like she always did. 

as the break went on, she seemed to be stuck in the same position where her stomach would turn everytime she thought about lynn, but not it the good way of course. 

majority of her break went to going for hour-long walks, hanging out with eva and staring at the ceiling of her room. she was almost driving herself crazy because how could it be that she didnt feel like she had healed anything even tho she hadnt even spoken to lynn since the game? maybe it was because the last words she said to her were "youre not who i thought you were, vanessa". it still haunted her that she didnt call her nessa anymore. or maybe she was just hurt because lynn always showed she wanted to be around her when she felt like the sloppy second choice. but now her scars were bleeding again and she was no longer anything more than the girl who stood behind everyone in silence as they talked.

not only that, but the day before school started when their schedules got sent out, she noticed that almost every class was with her. fantastic. 

none of the girls wanted to go back to school. well, there was no one else that really looked forward to it to be honest, but most of them didnt have someone there that made them want to shove a textbook down their throat. after using these exact words, eva told nessa to just pretend they were strangers, hopefully shed actually belive it eventually. lynn on the other hand, had gotten unwanted advice from her older sister.

lynn always seemed to listen to luna when it came to advice, even tho her strategies and plans never worked very well. she knew lori was probably the better option, but she didnt understand the situation like luna did. 

"i know youre not going to tell me what happened, but please dont act like you hate her. just smile if you see her in the hallway. dont make her feel worse than she already does"

lynn really wanted to ask luna how she apparantly could read everyones emotions and thoughts, but she always brushed it off and called it 'big sister intuition'. 

right after she said that, she had thrown the dark blue shirt into her lap. nessas shirt. she simply stared at it, knowing she had to give it back, something she really didnt want to as that meant having to stand face to face with vanessa. even she came to her house with her stuff so there was no way she was going to be a coward and put it in her mailbox.

nessa got to school with a quarter to spare. she checked her schedule to see that first period was maths. no better way to start of the week. and as the cherry on top was that she had it with lynn. and just like last year, very few classes with her friends. 

it wasnt the longest way to the classroom where she had maths, but she started walking anyway. there werent too many unoccupied seats when she walked in, so she picked one on the 2nd row. a bit too close to the teacher if she was completely honest, but shed much rather sit there than in the back were all the guys were. 

ew.

she saw that she was still a couple minutes early, but better early than late, especially on the first day. even the soccer guys were there, and that said quite a lot as they were always late. at least she wasnt alone.

someone who didnt think like that and thought just on time was more than enough, was lynn. she always stumbled in the door just as the lesson was about to begin, but not today. she actually came in a whole 2 minutes before it even started. thats even earlier than the teacher. honestly she deserved applause for that.

nessa got nervous when she saw her slow down before passing the desk she was sitting by. she reached into her bag and pulled out a piece of fabric. except it wasnt just a piece of fabric, it was her shirt. 

she watched as it dropped in front of her, not a word said by the athlete who was not moving towards the desk by the way to confident boys behind her. her whole body lanugage was screaming that she would rather sit anywhere else. even on the front row. 

the only thing nessa did was stare at the dark blue piece of clothing in front of her for a good 10 seconds before stuffing it into her bag, blinking to hide the tears laying in the crook of her eye. she felt the exact same kick in the gut she did before the break.

she looked around herself for something to distract her and her eyes landed on what was closest to her. her pencilcase. her hand quickly reached for it. opening it. she hadnt cleaned it out from last year, so in there were a few pens, but also a few pieces of paper you could see was ripped out of a book and she knew exactly whose book it was. her heart sunk even more if that was possible.

she unfolded one of them and saw the word 'pretty' in the very messy handwriting she loved so much. another had writing on both sides, saying 'answer to number 16?' 'on page 58' she flipped it, reading the backside, 'thanku:)'

someone else who noticed this aswell was the person who wrote them. lynn. her eyes were probably burning holes in the girls head. she already knew it was going to be a long school year. how was she supposed to sit in the same room as nessa for hours a day and not feel the guilt seeping through the wall she had built?

maybe she did miss her, just a little.

A/N

the billboard said 'the end is near'-phoebe bridgers...

the timeskip here is insane im really sorry abt that

SO EXCITED TO SEE GF IN THE NEW EP TOMORROW

the second half of this is not proofread just so you know

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