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this is me trying-taylor swift 'i just wanted you to know that this is me trying'
the day went on like every other. walking between classes then waiting for the bell to ring as soon as you sat down. vanessa was a bit disappointed eva wasn't at school the one day they had a few classes together. of course one of them was pe, meaning she'd not only have to deal with the boys that had a ego that was bigger than them, but also augustine flirting and trying to impress them all alone.
lynn and her friends sat in the cafeteria at lunch talking about upcoming tournaments like they usually did. she was relived thinking margo had forgotten about vanessa or finally understood that they weren't into each other, but she was wrong.
"wait what happened between you and vanessa?" she took a bite out of her food giving lynn a enquiring look. she really didn't want nessa to be one of the topics around the table again, and would do almost anything to avoid having this conversation. "nothing happened, we just don't talk anymore" lynn lied, hoping they didn't read her lies as well as her sisters did. margo couldn't reply before inez dropped her sandwich and gasped. "omg did you break up?" lynn was caught off guard by the question and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"oh. my. god. you did!" there was a tone of realization in margo's voice, even tho whatever she thought she figured out was wrong. "what are you guys talking about? we were only ever friends" her voice was steady and calm, but under the table her fists were clenched.
"did you cheat on her or something?"
"is that why you stopped talking after you got with ben?"
"man, choosing ben over her is-" they completely ignored the answer they were given, only hearing whatever they wanted to hear, until lynn snapped throwing her hands in the air. "shut up! i didn't cheat on anyone, why do you care so much anyway?! i hate them both!" a few people turned their heads to see what was going on and her two friends sat with shocked expressions on their faces after her sudden outburst.
lynn sighed and put her head in her hands. people had always told her she had a short temper, something she was aware of, but she never understood why her words always shot to kill whenever she was mad. "we're sorry lynn, it was supposed to be a joke" inezs voice had softened. "well, no one was laughing" she pushed herself away from the table, leaving them in silence.
vanessa hummed along to the music playing in her headphones as she walked home. her eyes squinted seeing a familiar short haired girl dressed in purple. she was carrying a guitar case and had headphones on just like nessa. she could see her pick up the pace, clearly recognizing her.
"vanessa! hey" luna jogged the last few meters towards her. "luna? hey, what's up" she was confused to say the least, but also nervous of what she might say. the thought that luna could've told lynn what nessa had said the night of the game and that that may be the reason she suddenly didn't want to talk to her had crossed her mind multiple times. because it made sense if she thought about it. but she brushed it off, not wanting to accuse people for things she didn't know if they'd done.
it went silent so vanessa spoke up. "was there something on your mind?" the voice snapped the older girl back into reality. "there is actually" in response nessa raised her eyebrows as a motion for her to continue.
"it's about lynn" nessa was about to speak up, but luna held her hand up, signing she wasn't done speaking. "you have to forgive her. i know that it may seem like she doesn't deserve it, but i promise you, there is a reason for what she did. she really cares about you vanessa. i've barley been able to recognize her the past week, i can see the way shes been beating herself because of this. i really think she deserves a second chance because she really is trying" nessa bit her lip, processing what she just heard.
vanessa felt a pinch of guilt sneak up on her. however, there was one part of luna's sentence that she couldnt seem to forget. "why did she do it?" the rockstar broke eye contact and shrugged her shoulders. "i can't say" nessa only seemed to grow more confused as the conversation went on. "why not?" luna could hear the confusion in her voice. "look, it's not something for me to tell. but i know you still care about her, so forgive her. she hates herself for this" nessa's gaze was set on the other girls shoes as she spun her ring around her finger. she slowly nodded along, lost in thought of why luna couldn't tell her. "well i have to go" luna pointed at her guitar case and put her headphones back on. she felt a smile of achievement form on her lips as she walked away.
nessa was left alone on the sidewalk with a million thoughts spinning inside her head. why was luna telling her all this? did lynn send her because she knew she wouldn't talk to her or was it acctually just a coincidence? maybe luna was telling the truth? she couldn't have lied about that?
the guilt she felt earlier was growing bigger by the second. after everything she just heard, she didn't feel sure about anything. well exept for one thing. she needed to talk to lynn. she knew she had to do it in person, but that meant having to wait until tomorrow at school.
she could barley sleep all night, her whole body feeling uneasy and restless, something you could very easily tell in the morning. her hair was tangeled due to all the tossing and turning, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her energy level was lower than her motivation to go to school.
the first thing she did when she stepped into the school building was look for the athlete dressed in red. after not having any luck in spotting her, she decided on asking her friends during lunch.
she felt slightly nervous approaching the two girls she had only talked to once. she could see the glances they exchanged as she was walking up to them. "hi, is lynn here today?" she chuckled trying to ignore the awkwardness that was floating in the air. they both shook their heads before the redhead spoke up. "was there something else?" vanessa tried hiding her disappointment, but her body language gave it away. "i just wanted to talk to her" she shrugged her shoulders.
margo and inez sat in silence processing what just happened. "i thought lynn hated her?" inez questioned. "well don't look at me, i know nothing more than you!" margo held her hands up. they knew for sure they were telling lynn about this tomorrow.
