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2022
they'd sat down and had many a serious conversations over their four years together. from talks of past experiences with relationships, sexual histories and boundaries, and even family specifics they'd felt were important to know in the longterm of their relationship. for all the drama and hardship that came with dating as idols, they were both adults who knew how to communicate with their partner.
where it got tricky was of course the timing...as it turns out for all the drama and hardship that came with dating as idols, not having enough time for one another was an actual issue.
in their nearly four years together they'd never had the conversation of a future together. it was always after a schedule, or after the end of a promotional period, or even at the end of tour. they'd never thought about the long term. what about a year from now, two years, five years; what about the rest of their lives?
they'd never thought about spending the rest rest of their lives together.
it wasn't that thought they would fall out of love or even that they didn't see a future where they were together; in fact they wanted a future together. where they could be married and own a house, maybe adopt a few pets and if they really wanted have a kid. they would become legends, loved and remembered for years to come, and they would retired. they would spend the rest of their lives, happy and together.
they didn't talk about the future because they weren't sure if there would be a future for them.
who was to say if there companies didn't make them break up or dispatch decided to reveal them as the new year's couple of the year. what if their fans caught them or a sasaeng leaked their relationship. how would their fans react? how would knetz react? what about the public? idols aren't just people; their products, commodities to be owned and treated like pretty dolls. then when they weren't useful anymore they were discarded.
they had seen how their peers, friends, and and seniors and juniors alike had been treated. they didn't want that to happen. they wanted to be together, wanted each other, but they weren't sure if they were willing to sacrifice everything they'd worked so had to build just for a relationship.
four years was a long time to question that and maybe they'd never truly put that much into it.
it wasn't a question of love; they were in love. full stop. no notes.
what it was a question of, was if they could give up their current lives for each other? did they really want to abandon their lives now for a possible one they could build together? would they?
honestly, they didn't know the answer to those questions. hopefully, when the time came their fans would understand, but if they didn't she hoped it didn't hurt too much.
