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"i can't believe this is it." he swallowed hard, his head hung. he knew that if he met her eyes, he wouldn't want to leave. not that he expected to come out of this as anything other than sad.
it hurt a lot, a lot more than he thought it would. who knew that would happen? jihoon sure as hell didn't. those eight months felt like eight minutes, and jihoon wanted to relive those minutes for the rest of his life.
"i know." she gave him a halfhearted smile, though he could tell it was forced. resting her head gently on his shoulder. "i know i shouldn't feel this sad. i mean it's not like we'll never see each again, we'll still have texts and facetime." her voice faltered a little, "b-but it could be a long time until we'll see each other. i can't believe we won't be this close to each other anymore."
at that statement his head turned to meet her deep brown eyes, the very eyes he'd constantly found himself falling in love with over the duration of their time spent on the show.
"it does sound a little superficial." he agreed, wrapped his an arm around her waist, his hand coming to rest on her left arm. he held her firmly against his side wanting to feel her soft body against his for maybe one of the last times. he swallowed down the urge to shut down and say nothing, but he refused to be that type of man with her, he wanted her to know how he felt even if it wasn't the confession he knew he owed her.
"but there's nothing wrong with that. i feel the same way. i can't wait to be back with my members and have my own studio again, but i like being with you. i wish i could have both." his voice was quieter than he intended, but he didn't see the need to be so loud in such an intimate setting.
rubbing his hand up and down her arm when she shivered, her comforting presence was among the plethora of things he would miss, she spoke. "promise we won't drift apart," he rested his head against hers, squeezing her in his hold.
"of course." she didn't even have to ask, his feelings for her were enough to make him want nothing more than to be in constant contact with her any way he could.
she hummed in contentment at his answer and yawned, the strain and weariness of the day coming to a head as she closed her aching eyes. she didn't plan on falling asleep anytime soon but being in the tender arms of a man that cared so much about her was a soothing feeling. she almost could fall asleep if she just let her mind drift.
"do you promise not to drift away?" he questioned quietly, not noticing her eyes close.
she giggled sleepily, "that's a stupid question." his head snapped toward her, "why would i make you promise me that we wouldn't drift apart if i didn't intend on doing the same. that'd be cruel."
he agreed, and he understood that ryun wasn't that kind of person. she didn't just make promises, and she certainly didn't make any promises that she didn't keep. that was another thing he loved so much about her.
"you're right, i'm sorry." he apologized sincerely, taking note of her resting eyes and peaceful face. she must have been freezing as her arm was covered in goosebumps but she said nothing. he would have to take her inside and get her under warm covers soon.
"s'alright," she slurred, falling fast into the blissful abyss of sleep.
"let's get you inside." his voice was mild and full of affection. "you're falling asleep."
"no ... i'm not ..." she stumbled over her words, pausing in random places in what seemed like short pauses of sleep or thought.
"i ... don't wanna go ... don't wanna leave you ... love spending time with ... you ..." smiling softly at her words, he gathered her in his arms and began heading inside.
"your adorable, you know that right." he chuckled, standing her up to lean against him so he could close and lock the balcony doors.
"don't go ..." she murmured softly.
i don't want to be anywhere but with you, he refrained from saying his thoughts out loud. partly because he was embarrassed and partly because she was half-dead to the world and it was be weird to confess his love to a sleeping girl.
"i'm right here," he said instead, slipping his arms behind her back and under her knees to pick her up. with her securely gathered in his arms, he turned off all the lights and headed toward the bedroom.
when he reached the room and neared the bed, he set her gently on the bed near the window where he knew she liked to sleep. pulling out her ponytail and tucking her under the covers, he did a quick nighttime routine of his own before he joined her in the bed.
with a deflated sigh he reflected on the events of the day and came to the realization that he'd forgotten something. i never told her how i feel, the thought weighed heavy on his heart and mind as did the shame of even considering wasting her time with such nonsense.
i'm such a fucking idiot, he cursed himself. i'm in love her but like some creepy stalker i'm here watching her sleep, thinking of confessing while she's so vulnerable, he was so entrenched in his thoughts he didn't notice when she shifted closer to him. slipping her arm around his flank and somehow ended up with one leg thrown over his and her head on his shoulder.
god! your so fucking wei—wait why is my leg so heavy? looking down he noticed a slender calf that lead to a slender thigh rested between his legs, he realized the slender leg belonged to ryun who's calm breaths fanned his neck.
"... love.....you....don't leave ..." she muttered, snuggling into his shoulder. it took everything in him not jump up and scream like a girl in a scary movie but he managed to calm his racing heart, his cheeks instead flushing when he processed their position and her words. this wasn't at all a new position for the pair, they'd slept in the same space for the last couple of months and had long gotten past the awkward cuddling stage, but he'd never gotten used to her telling him she loved him. it always made his heart swell and his head spin, and he'd always say it back ignore his own real feelings. he truly did love her too — he was in love with her. he was an idiot to for realizing that so late.
"i love you too ..." with that he wrapped an arm around her, pulling himself into her inviting warmth and fell into a bittersweet dreamland of his own.
now if only he could tell her how he felt when she was awake...
