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2024
her chest hurt and each breath felt like somebody was rubbing sandpaper against her lungs. her feet felt like cement blocks dragging against the tiled flooring up to their destination, and her eyes felt both too dry and entirely unable to contain the tears.
she didn't want to see the person she joined a company for as a teenager, a person who'd become a mentor and a friend, right now. she didn't want to confront her idol.
she loved hyuna, some part of her always would, but that love wasn't unconditional. the person hyuna had become, the person she'd chosen to be with, wasn't something she could love hyuna despite.
and so, she found herself ascending the stairs of hyuna's apartment building, to her apartment, where she would confront her. whether to scream and cry, and demand answers as to why it had to be him; or, to admonish her mentor, and express her disgust and disappointment in her choices. she didn't know how the interaction would go, maybe she'd do all of them and storm off; never to see hyuna again.
the wasn't a plan. it was all a spur of the moment kind of thing. she'd found out from the articles just like everybody else, and then the instagram posts came out, and her world stopped.
hyuna, her hyuna, who'd been a presence in her life since she was 15 and who she'd idolized long before, was dating a man who made her skin crawl.
it was unthinkable and unforgivable, and maybe hyuna hadn't told her for that reason; because she knew she would never forgive her.
the thought circulated heavily in her chest, making it hard to breathe as she continued up the stairs. by this point, somebody would think she'd ran a mile by how labored her breathing had become.
she was lightheaded and nauseous when she arrived at hyuna's door.
"ne, i'm coming! who is it?" her cheerful voice, that now only made her queazy responded to her knock on the door.
"i said who is-ah! hei-rannie honey! you didn't call! come in!" the older woman ushered her in and closed the door behind them. "it's been so long, how are you here? does the company know about this? dear, you really should've called. we could've met up somewhere less conspicuous." she said with a concerned furrow in her brow, likely troubled by the thought of somebody catching ryun entering her apartment. it wouldn't be a good look to the company, and the last thing she wanted was for her junior to suffer just because they hung out.
the younger woman lingered in the doorway, unwilling to get comfortable while hyuna walked into the living room with the intention of going to the kitchen. she didn't know if hyuna didn't notice or was merely ignoring her deliberate silence, but she continued on. "don't just stand there. come, sit, i bought that wine you like from america! the blue one?" it was only when she's been talking seemingly to herself for the past few minutes that hyuna noticed her complete lack of response, and turned around.
