Find your faith

Chapter 49: Musical Rehearsals begin ⚠️

This chapter has flashbacks about eating disorders and implied PTSD. Reader discretion is advised.
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Crystal's POV
"Our lead is finally here!" The musical coach announced. "I trust you brought shorts with you, because today we're going to do some dancing!" I dropped my skirt down and placed my bag at the side, running to the centre of the hall, where I was ushered and given my set of poms poms.

"So after the opening song, all of you will run to the centre and start doing your cheers," the musical coach explained. "And Crystal is of course, in front. She's our lead. I will guide Crystal with the moves now." We ran to the sides and back to the centre, where I followed the coach's moves move for move. However, the coach stared at me like I just killed her daughter.

"Technically, you know what you are doing," the coach remarked. "But it looks floppy, because it doesn't have an appeal for a performer. I need you to work on that, alright?" I nodded hesitantly, not truly knowing what that meant.
Flashback
Over the past week, I lost 5 kg and ran 3 rounds less than the previous lesson. I was praised by Mr. Han and Mrs. Teo, and my running habit has become a refreshing habit. However, life didn't work for a run that day due to rain and a splitting headache. Despite the challenges, I decided to run, despite the rain and blurry vision. I fell in water puddles, causing a headache but pushing through nonetheless.
Present day
I'm so scared to relapse. Yes, I want to deal with my problems head-on, but I'm scared that if I try and solve it, I might relapse into my anorexic phase. Wait...one of my sections is doing a public speaking badge and the section leader is constantly reminding them to practice their speeches in front of a mirror or something!

Chloe's content creating activities and constant adult-involvement (tuition and parents going through homework) makes her too busy to help me. She probably can't give me constructive feedback because she'll be showering me with praises. My parents are coaching Chloe, swamped in their own commitments or cleaning the house. And not like I could ask 8 point compass either. I was considered their best dancer and I wasn't even that close to the rest of my friends. Even if I was, they were busy or couldn't dance to save their life. That left me with one dramatic option: go out to the city and do a public performance to see how I can improve. After all, a retired dancer could be in the crowd, right?
That Saturday afternoon
"We're the fairies, we're cute and proud!..." I cheered while seamlessly going through my moves. I decided to be myself while showing off my moves, remembering as much as I could. A crowd soon formed, with all the cameras pointed at me, and when I finished my routine for the first time, everyone cheered. However, a familiar figure shoved her way through the crowd.

"You're Crystal, right?" She asked skeptically. I nodded. That was Iris, one of my NDP friends I made. She is a dancer, member of the student council and Water's house captain, was also my sister's mentor, and she's in 3 Love.

"I'm doing a different routine," she explained. "But I think I know where you're lacking just by watching your performance. You've got the diligence Chloe lacks, but your moves lack confidence. Which is why people might get the wrong idea you suck at dance, but you don't." She then started to teach me in front of the audience. Her hands were resourceful, underrated to let the lack of poms poms. Rather, she let her hands be flat and let her proficiency in dance guide her. Her hands were smooth and they glided through the air. She has a calm voice that guided me patiently through the steps, not caring that I had even less experience than Chloe. Her analogies helped me a lot, and soon, I was cheering like a real fairy cheerleader.

When I did the routine with her once more, everyone started cheering. Even at Iris, who wasn't even a dedicated influencer like her. Thanking her for her help, we decided to meet up "soon," bade farewell and parted ways.

I'm relieved Iris found me trying to get feedback by practicing in public. That was much better than reverting back to hours of practice and protein shakes. Her guidance guided me in the right direction of dancing like a real dancer, and it looks like she wants to make me her mentee. I can only look forward to the future with her in it.