Good Things Fall Apart (Being Edited)

Broken

"It feels a way I can't explain so hold me babe I know you can't stay too long
And every melody has a way of reminding me of one of your favorite songs
And I know we can't turn back time
I know we can't right those wrongs." Rico Love~ Somebody Else
___________________

It's been 2 days since Erica told me that she was pregnant by Javon and I can honestly say I've lost every feeling in my body. I was numb. After she told me that I just hung up. I couldn't do anything but cry. I couldn't talk I couldn't walk I couldn't breath. The only time I would get up was to shower and brush my teeth. I didn't even eat because I haven't had the appetite. Javon has been calling me since yesterday morning but I couldn't bring myself to listen to a thing he had to say. He did the one thing that he promised he would never do. He hurt me and I was broken. Blake has been knocking on my door for 2 days still waiting for me to answer but I didn't want to cry in front of anyone because I was not one to be weak but at this moment I couldn't help it. Erica knew how I felt about him and Javon knew that was my bestfriend so they both couldn't say anything to stop me from hating them to pieces which I now did. I was interrupted from my thoughts when someone knocked at my door.

I assumed it was Blake so I stayed quiet as usual but this knock was hard and it wouldn't stop. Usually when Blake would knock she would stop once she realized I wouldn't open it. She didn't even know what was wrong but I couldn't bring myself to tell her because once it comes out of my mouth then it would really hit me.

"Baby open the door please I'm sorry."

It was him. And he said he was sorry. So did he know??

"Baby please open the door and let me explain please mama...open the door."

I frowned before starting to cry all over again.

"Nene open the door please."

I sighed

I got up slowly and walked towards the door unlocking it with my trembling hands.

I didn't even look at him I just turned around and got back into my bed and pulled the covers over me.

He came and sat down on the floor by my head.

"Look journey it seems so much worse than what it is."

I scoffed because he couldn't even own up to his fucking actions.

"So how is it?" I said in a low voice. It was weird because it felt like I haven't heard my own voice in forever.

"Look we were at the party the night you got ra-" he stopped himself "and I wasn't thinking baby I was kinda drunk and she was too and-"

"I don't care Javon sow why are you hear you should be on a flight to Cali to talk to your babymama" I surprised me how calm I was.

"Journey please just hear me out we were drunk and I was pissed cause you were all over Marcus but baby I swear the last thing I meant to do was hurt you and you know that."

" I don't know shit I thought I did but I don't alright." I frowned and started crying.

"She's pregnant J. She's pregnant and I can't do anything to change it and you can't either. So man the fuck up and take care of your kid. Take responsibility for the shit you do and do what you gotta do. Erica has been through a lot and even though I can't stand her as much as I can't fucking stand you I'll be the first to say that she can't handle another dead beat."

"I know and I understand why your mad but I need you so fucking much Journey. Since you've been here I felt happiness I haven't felt since my moms passed."

I gasped a little. Why haven't I realized that he never was around his mom or talked about her? I didn't even know she passed but how could I miss that? I sighed and that made me feel worse.

"I get it Javon but I can be with you anymore."

"No Nene you not leaving me." I tear rolled down his face that he quickly wiped away with the back of his wrist.

"I need you so much Journey and I need you now more than ever and I can't do this shit by myself I need you so much Ne I love you please don't say that."

"Your so fucking selfish Javon. What if I got knocked up by somebody matter fact by your bestfriend knowing how you feel about me. Drunk or not if you cared you wouldn't even have let yourself get that close to her. I know we weren't together but it's the simple fact that that was my bestfriend and she got your seed man. And regardless how I feel the last thing I wanna do is stand in the way of that baby having a father. So I can't be with you. And being friends would hurt me too much ."

"Don't do thi-"

"Bye Javon."

He put his tongue on the inside of his cheek and got up.

"I'm sorry Journey and I love you so much ma and I get it but you need to know that I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose and I promised I wouldn't but this isn't how shit is supposed to be."

Is mouth silently with the cover over my mouth.

"I love you Ne" he said

He was quiet for a while while awaiting an answer that he wasn't gonna get. He nodded and walked out of the door. And then I broke down.

I cried for what felt like hours until my eyes got heavy and I drifted off to sleep.