Good Things Fall Apart (Being Edited)

I want you

"Long distance in the way of would could be
Even when your here your not with me
She's having the child I should've carried
I'll be damned if yall get married
How's the baby? How you adjusting?
Ain't gone work you got problems trusting
Let me stop I'm supposed to be focused but these night are the coldest
Will you ever let her go I don't know
Will I ever be first I hope
But I ain't just sitting around cant wait for someone to see my worth
Damn I can't compete with a baby
Is there any room left in your heart for me?" K. Michelle~ Maybe I should call

Had to put a long part of this song cause it goes so well with this situation hehehe *pats shoulders*
___________________

One month later

Journey
I've been out of the hospital for 3 days now. I hadn't really spoken to Javon since we left because I respected Amod to much. I know your saying how Javon was there for me and Amod only visited me twice but Javon had a baby on the way so it was no point of me chasing something that didn't wanna be caught. I hadn't told him about Erica because I didn't see a point in me doing that. Erica and I's friendship was over long ago yet I know that after all she's gone through she needed Javon and I didn't wanna be a reason for him stop and leave her. I had just come home from dropping my nana to the airport because she had been here to make sure I was okay and now I was gonna relax today because I went back to work tomorrow.

I was about to drift off to sleep when someone came and knocked on my door.

"Babe I'm leaving and Amods downstairs love you boo."

"Alright and love you too." She closed the door and I say up waiting for Amod to come up.

"Hey baby." He said kissing me and laying in my lap.

"Wassup"I said while flipping through channels on my flat screen.

"I was chilling with my godparents but they looked like they was gonna get it in and I ain't want no parts of that." He said making me laugh.

"I want you to meet them."

I smiled because he had never brought this up and now that we were serious I was always eager to meet them.

"Id love to meet them." I kissed his forehead and he nodded and smiled.

"Can I ask you something ?"

"Anything"

"How do you feel about us not having sex... I mean we've technically been seeing each other for like 4 months and you've never even mentioned it." I could tell it caught him off guard but I needed to know. Not that I was rushing or anything but I was curious.

"Jo I'm not the type of bugga that's gonna make you do something you not comfortable doing. I think you've known me long enough to know that I'm with you for everything other than the sexual shit. When the time is right for you then it's right for me of course I'm a man and I think about it but I love and respect you enough to wait."

"Love?" He chuckled

"Pass love." He smiled

"I love you too Amod." I bit my lip and adjusted myself so that I was straddling him.

I ran my nails up his clothes chest while looking him in his eyes.

"I want you Amod"

"Jo you don't have to."

"I want to."

He nodded and flipped us over so that he was on top. He gently pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor. He kissed my forehead then my nose my lips then my chin and down until he got to my yoga pants. He pulled them off tossing them in a differ direction from my shirt.

He unhooked my bra and took off my lace underwear revealing my love box. He began to lean towards it until I grabbed his head making him look up at me.

"No I want you now." He nodded and came back up.

"It's not my first time but be gentle."

"I got you ma." He kissed my lips before easing himself into me.

I sucked in air as my middle began to throb. I wasn't a virgin but it's been almost a year since I've last done anything.

"Baby you want me to stop?"he said noticing my pain.

I shook my head and he continued to stroke until the pain was replaced with pleasure.

"Damn you so tight." He growled into my ear.

"Ughhhh Amod d-dont s-s-stop." I moaned as my nails dug into his back.

He went deeper if possible and I arched my back because the amount of pleasure I was feeling was crazy.

"I love you so fucking much." He said as he bit down on my neck before soothing it with his tongue.

"I'm about to c-cum." At this point my eyes were rolling to the back of my head.

"Wait for me ma." Kissed me senselessly causing me to feel dizzy.

"Let go" and as soon as he said that all the energy was released from my body.

He collapsed next to me and we fell asleep like that.

I was awakened by my phone ringing. I seen it was Blake.

"Hello?" I answered with sleep evident in my voice.

"Erica just went into labor." She said before she hung up.

My body shot up and I began to look through my drawers for clothes. I settled on a large white sweater black tights and white flip flops. I didn't really care for Erica but I know that Javon would want everyone there and he was there for me so I owed him.

As I ran down the condo stairs I threw my hair into a messy bun. I got in my car and sped off.

After going to Walgreens for a bear and some balloons I was pulling up to the hospital. I walked into the waiting room to see Javon smiling and talking to Marcus and Cole.

"Hey J" I said as I side hugged him.

"Hey nene" he said taking the gifts from me and smiling.

"Um you wanna see him?" She had him?

"Uh sure." I said as I began to follow him down the hall to the room.

When we got there I saw Blake in Erica's bed by her mesmerized by something small in Erica's arms. She looked up at me and forced a smile.

"Come here little man." Javon said as he gently scooped the baby up and turned to me.

"You wanna hold him?" He said not taking his eyes off of him.

"Y-yeah." I said and he placed him in my arms as I sat in the chair by the door.

I looked at the precious little boy and couldn't help but smile. He was so small and adorable. He had Erica's skin color and a head full of hair. My eyes scanned his little face until I got to his eyes. Those big brown eyes that I felt like I've seen a million times before. His eyes were the complete replica of Javon's and I felt my eyes become watery. This baby was his and it was obvious. I looked up to Javon who was still smiling at him.

"What's his name?"

"Jeremiah Josiah Williams." He said smiling.

"He beautiful"

"Thank you" Erica said smiling. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not but I didn't care.

I handed Jeremiah to Javon and smiled before excusing myself. I walked down the halls of the hospital until I got to the elevator. I passed Marcus and Cole waving simply before making my way out to my car. I got in and took a deep breath before breaking down. I cried because I hade been kidnapped and beaten I cried because I had lost my bestfriend of six years I cried because I had just had sex with a man who deserves so much more than myself because at this moment I realized I was still in love with Javon and I cried because the man I was truly in love with just had a beautiful baby with someone who wasn't me.