More Than a Nekoboy (JoongDunk)

Abyss

The rumors have continued and are getting stronger. They've even brought up old pictures, taking them out of context again.

I've received threats from Phuwin's fans, and those who used to defend me have gone quiet.

The worst part? I read that I'm the worst father Ryu could have and the worst partner for Joong. It broke me. This really hurts.

I'm home alone right now. I've locked myself in the bathroom to cry, just in case they come back and I don't notice. The faucet is running to drown out the sound of my sobs.

My phone lights up again.

Phuwin: Dunk, honey, when can we see you? I miss you. Joong says you haven't been feeling well, but it's been four weeks now.

I close my eyes as the tears keep falling.

I decide to take a bath to try to relax.

— Dunk!

Did I fall asleep? I'm in Joong's arms, and I'm freezing.

— Oh my god, Dunk... you scared me so much... What if I had come home later?

He's holding me tightly. He's furious.

— ... I'm sorry... I just wanted to relax.

— You can't keep going like this.

He wraps me in a towel and carries me to our bed.

— I want you to sleep, really sleep. If I have to wear you out, I will. I'm going to check on Ryu and come back in a little while. When I do, I better find you snoring, got it?

— Mmm.

He's right... I don't know how he puts up with me. I can't make him happy. All of this is my fault...

I keep crying, and at some point, I fall asleep.

I wake up, and my head feels heavy. When I get close to the door to leave, I hear Joong talking to someone, and I stand quietly in the shadows to listen.

— ... It's getting worse. Yeah. No, this can't go on like this. I'm taking care of Ryu. I know. No... damn it. I know. I'm not going to keep this up. Yeah. We'll cut it off at the root. Ah... I know. I'll talk to you later, okay? I'm going to feed Ryu. He's on formula now. Yeah, I know...

His voice fades as he walks away, and I stand there, frozen.

My whole body is trembling. I don't know what to think about what I just heard. I imagine the worst. Joong is going to leave me. I'll be alone again. And Ryu? He's not going to stay with me. I'm a terrible father. Everyone was right.

I crawl back into bed. I don't know how long I've been here, but everything hurts.

I can feel movement around me, but I can't open my eyes. I can't even hear properly; it's like I'm underwater.

Sleep pulls me under again, and I welcome it because it's the only thing that brings peace. I don't think.

There's nothing.

...

— Dunki... Dunki, my love... I love you... kitten...

Joong's face fills my mind. His beautiful smile. Here, I'm happy.

— Look, Dunki, your precious Ryu. We miss you.

Ryu... do you need me, Ryu? No... I don't think so. You're better off without me.

— Dunki, we need you, my love.

They miss me.

They need me.

I want to open my eyes, but they feel impossibly heavy. At least now I can hear his voice clearly.

My body won't respond.

I fall asleep again.

Clarity slowly returns, and I feel stronger. I manage to open my eyes a little. Everything is so bright, and it hurts.

Gradually, I get used to the light. This is... a hospital room.

I'm alone.

Anxiety creeps in. Am I alone?

Have they abandoned me?

I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't want to cry.

I hear the door open.

— Dunki, my love, I'm back. Ryu is growing up so fast. Phuwin said he asked about you today. Remember how I told you? I'm "Dad" and you're "Daddy." It's amazing how he figured it out by himself so he wouldn't get confused. Today I brought you sunflowers. They're beautiful. I wish you could see them... I miss you so much. The bed is way too big without you.

He sighs.

— Damn... I'm okay. Everything's fine. Ahh... the doctor says you'll wake up any moment now. That I should give you time. But I don't want time, I want you. I want you back with me. I want our family back. Ryu wants you back. Dunki... please...

I open my eyes and look for the source of his voice, and there he is. My precious Joong has his hands over his face, and his shoulders are shaking.

— ... Mmm...

He looks at me, and the sadness on his face turns to shock. He rushes toward me.

— Dunki! You're awake! Oh my god, you're here!

I watch as he scrambles to find a soft remote with a red button and presses it.

— How do you feel? Can you talk to me? Do you need anything, my love?

— ... Fi-fine...

— Too many questions. Sorry, I'm just so nervous.

He smiles at me, but he starts to cry. I'm worried about him.

— ... You... okay...?

— Now I am... now I am... Oh my god, now I am.

♥️🐈
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