behind every summer

Chapter 47

[Note: If you're wondering kung bakit biglang nagiging tagalog o english o taglish ang isang chapter, its because our team have decided to incorporate all thos languages for uniqueness, it was planned that the half part of this story would be english, and yung other half naman would be for tagalog, but it ended up na na combine siya in the later part.]

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Chapter 47

Days pass by pretty quickly, which was unrecognizable to me. Hindi ko inaasahan na magiging madali lang pala ang panahon kapag nasa loob ka ng kulungan. I thought life would be much more longer there because you can't hold your device or access to wifi. Like, no. Wala ka talagang access sa lahat ng gadgets mo, so meaning hindi mo makikita kung sino ang tumawag sa'yo o nag mensahe sa'yo, at hindi mo rin makikita kung anong kaganapan ang meron sa kada social media. Walang wala ka talaga sa kulungan. Each either you'll sleep all day or force yourself to be productive even though you can't do it.

Personally, the prisonwas hell for me because I can't get to move or walk around or stroll in a park. I can't do anything. I can't contain it. True to the sense that that's the downside of being in a jail. And another thing, lagi akong mino-molestiya, sinasaktan at nilalandi ng mga lalaking kasama ko. And it hurts knowing that I became their comfort man. Yes, they had raped me countless times. I did shout for help but no one really listened. No one really cared for me.

Okay lang, sanay na akong nagbibigay sa'kin ng atensyon. Lahat kasi ng mga taong mahal ko, iniiwan nalang ako sa ere. And that's a fact that I need to face.

Its like I'm prisoned in hell.

A place where I could no longer ever go out. A place of misery, to be exact.

While I was staying here, I found out that my body grows thinner and weaker. My once muscular frame has withered into something unrecognizable, just skin stretched over bones. Every inch of me feels hollow, empty. It's been weeks since I've had a decent meal, and even then, the little scraps I'm given feel more like a punishment than nourishment. My stomach grumbles constantly, but I've become used to the hunger pangs. They've become a part of me now, just like the bruises that never quite heal and the fatigue that never fades.

It's been a week since I saw my parents. I still remember how strange it felt when my mother hugged me, how foreign her touch was after all this time. But that moment has passed, and since then, there's been nothing. No visits, no letters, no one asking about me. They've left me here, forgotten me just like everyone else has.

I've been imprisoned for five months now, though it feels like a lifetime. The days blur into each other, and the only way I can tell time is by watching my body waste away. The weight loss is drastic, and it's hard to believe this gaunt, frail person is me. I haven't had any court hearings, which is odd. In all the stories I've heard, it only takes two or three months before a prisoner is sentenced, either declared guilty and sentenced to more time, or proven innocent and set free. But not me. It's as if I've been placed in some forgotten corner of the world, where the system doesn't care and no one's in a rush to determine my fate.

I used to hold onto some hope—hope that Edevane or Apollo, Holland, Ma'am Catherine, or anyone from that house would come to check on me, to help clear my name. I thought at least one of them would believe that I didn't steal the money, that I was framed. But none of them have come. Not even Edevane, the man who once seemed to care about my well-being. They've all disappeared from my life, as if I never existed to them in the first place.

I often wonder what they're doing now. Maybe they've moved on, forgotten all about the incident. Maybe they believe the lies, that I'm nothing more than a thief. It's strange to think that people I once shared my days with, people I worked for and helped, now don't even think of me. It's painful, realizing that I meant so little to them. That despite all the time I spent with Apollo and Holland, they've never once come to see me. Ma'am Catherine, who was always so kind, hasn't even bothered to send a message. They've all abandoned me.