Instant Regrets Book II

Chapter 60

Amanda lay in bed next to Lisa, the silence of the room thick and heavy. Both were lost in their thoughts, the weight of everything that had happened pressing down on them. Lisa, feeling Amanda's distance, turned to her side, watching her in the dim light. She wanted to reach out, to comfort her, but something inside her stopped her hand. She understood how unfair it all was for Amanda, how much this situation asked of her.

Instead of pushing, Lisa turned back around, giving Amanda the space to think, though her heart ached to bridge the gap between them. The quiet between them was louder than any words could be.

On the other side of the bed, Amanda lay in silence, her tears falling uncontrollably. She buried her face in the pillow, pressing her hand against her mouth to muffle the sound, desperate not to let Lisa hear her sobs. Her heart was heavy, torn between love and guilt. She had never imagined that being with Lisa would mean facing this-being pulled into the shadows of Lisa's past, a past now threatening their future.

But it wasn't just the weight of Lisa's past that haunted Amanda. It was her own secret, the one she had been hiding from Lisa. Guilt gnawed at her relentlessly. The truth was, Amanda had kept something from Lisa about Lithan's custody, a complex situation she had tried to control. She wasn't even sure if Lisa knew, but now, with everything spiraling out of control, it felt like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Amanda pressed her hand harder against her mouth, trying to stifle the sobs that escaped her. The tears kept coming, wetting the pillow beneath her. She loved Lisa deeply, but the burden of what she had concealed and the impossible decisions they now faced were too much to bear. It wasn't just the fear of losing Lithan or even Lisa-it was the fear of losing the future she had dreamed of building with them both.

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Jennie sat at the kitchen table, her fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of her coffee cup. Across from her, Irene leaned forward, her expression a mix of disbelief and concern.

"Lisa isn't a match? How that impossible. After all the waiting, after everything..."

Jennie let out a heavy sigh, her eyes tired from days of anxiety. "The result is clear." she whispered, her voice trembling slightly. "It felt like a punch to the gut."

Irene's hands clenched into fists on the table, frustration clearly etched on her face. "Isn't there something else you can do? Another test, a different treatment? There has to be something, Jennie."

Jennie stared down at her cup, shaking her head slowly. "I don't know anymore, Irene. I've talked to every doctor, every specialist. We're running out of time. The only thing keeping me going is... trying to find another way, some miracle we haven't thought of."

"But we're talking about Hyeong's life," Irene insisted, her voice urgent. "You can't give up now."

Jennie's eyes welled up with tears, and she wiped them away quickly, not wanting to break down in front of her friend. "I'm not giving up," she said, her voice breaking. "But every door we open feels like it's slamming shut right in our faces.. and I don't know where to look for hope anymore."

Jennie sat at the table, her hands trembling slightly as she gripped her coffee cup. Irene, sensing the turmoil in her friend, reached across the table and gently placed her hand on Jennie's.

"We'll find something, Jennie. I'll help you," Irene said softly. "There has to be another way, even if we have to fight harder. You're not alone in this."

Jennie nodded, but the weight of the situation hung heavy on her, pressing down with each passing moment. She swallowed hard, her mind racing with all the unanswered questions that plagued her.

"How about Lisa?" Irene ventured cautiously. "Have you talked to her? I can't imagine how devastating it must be for her, knowing she might not be able to help Hyeong."

Jennie's face tightened at the mention of Lisa's name, something gnawing at her that she couldn't shake. The mere thought of Lisa stirred emotions she tying to avoid in past few days.

"I haven't spoken to her since we met," Jennie admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "But... she texted me a few days ago. She asked if she could see Hyeong."

Irene leaned forward, curiosity and concern mingling in her eyes. "And what did you say?"

Jennie sighed, her gaze distant. "Nothing. Not yet. I told her I wanted to wait until we got the results of the tests."

Irene nodded, understanding the hesitation, but still felt the need to press. "So, what's the plan now?"

"I don't know." Jennie's voice cracked slightly. "Maybe we go back to the registry, take another risk, and hope we find a suitable donor."

"And Lisa?" Irene asked gently, her tone urging Jennie to think carefully. "Do you plan on letting her see her son?"

Jennie shook her head, her voice firm but laden with exhaustion. "I'm not thinking about that right now, Irene. My only priority is finding a donor for Hyeong. That's all that matters."

"But Jennie-" Irene began, but Jennie cut her off.

"Irene, I've made it clear. I don't have the energy for a conversation with her. I appreciate that she got tested, but that's where it ends." Jennie's words were sharp, but there was a tremor beneath them, a vulnerability she couldn't hide.

Irene sighed, her hand still resting on Jennie's. "Jennie... have you thought about Lisa's rights? I understand you're focused on Hyeong's health, but Lisa has a right to meet him, especially now. She's his parent too."

Jennie's eyes filled with tears as Irene's words hit her hard. "I know... I realize that. But not now, Irene. I'm so tired. She's done her part. I don't want to involve her more than I have to."

"I understand," Irene said softly. "But you're not losing anything by letting her in. Maybe it's what Hyeong needs too. He deserves to know her. You've done everything you can, but this is a situation that needs all the love and support he can get."

Jennie blinked back tears, the weight of Irene's words sinking in. Her voice barely a whisper, she said, "I can give him all the love he deserves, Irene. But right now... I feel like I'm losing everything."

Irene squeezed Jennie's hand gently. "You're not losing everything, Jennie. You've got me, you've got people who love you. You're doing everything you can for Hyeong, and that's all anyone can ask."

Jennie nodded, grateful for Irene's unwavering support. But despite the comfort her friend offered, the thought of Lisa meeting Hyeong continued to gnaw at her, lingering like a shadow over her every decision. She wasn't sure she was ready for what might come next.