C+J•G~Drabbles!

☆Johnnie's Depressed☆

cw: low self esteem / depression

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Johnnie is Feeling insecure in his skin. He wasn't sure why he felt so much low self esteem this morning. But unfortunately he did. He looked over and saw his bf Carrington still sleeping by his side.

Carrington's eyes slowly opened, feeling his lover's stare on him. A sleepy yawn escaped him as he stretched his arms above his head, waking himself up a bit more.
"What time is it?" He mumbled, voice still a bit hoarse from sleep.

"It's um" Johnnie turned on his phone, 7:30am." As he clicked it off again.

"Ugh..."
Carrington let out another yawn, rolling over to bury his face into the pillow."Too early," he mumbled, the sound muffled by the fabric.

"I know." Johnnie replied, sounding depressed. As he laid back down. "I wanna sleep all day."

Carrington furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Did you not get any sleep at all last night? I felt you tossing and turning."

"It's the third night in a row I haven't slept at all..."Johnnie mumbled into his pillow. He shifted onto his side, back facing Carrington. He pulled the sheets over his head to block out the sun.

Carrington was immediately concerned for his lover. He gently placed a hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him.

Johnnie groaned, "So tired... And i feel like trash and probably look so shitty right now."

"You do look tired..."
Carrington said as he pulled the sheets down to look at his face. He gently cupped Johnnie's cheek and tilted his head up to get a better look at him."But you don't look like *trash.* You could never look bad, love."

"i look bad right now" Johnnie huffed as he looked at Carrington. Dark circles underneath his eyes and he looked depressed.

Carrington sighed softly, moving his thumb across Johnnie's cheek in a soothing manner. He knew how much Johnnie hated looking tired and how much he cared about his appearance.

"You don't look bad Johnnie. You just need some rest."

Johnnie sighed. "Can we cuddle in bed all day..? I just been feeling so bleh lately. So fucking depressed and I don't know why"

Carrington's heart ached when he heard how depressed his lover sounded. He was more than willing to give him all the cuddles in the world.

"Of course, baby. I'll hold you all day."
He gently tugged on Johnnie's arm, silently urging him to move over so he could lay down beside him.

Johnnie laid with Carrington. He laid his head onto his boyfriend's chest and just laid there. He looked numb. Tired. Drained. Sad.

Carrington wrapped his arms around Johnnie, holding him close. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head and rubbed his back in a comforting manner.

He could feel just how drained and tired Johnnie was, both physically and mentally. He hated seeing him like this.

"I'm here for you, love. I'm not going anywhere."

"Can you get me some sleep meds? I'm tired but I can't sleep" Johnnie sighed.

Carrington nodded. "Yeah, I can get you some. I'll be right back, okay?"

He gently lifted Johnnie's head off his chest and sat up, getting out of bed. He quickly made his way to the bathroom, looking for the medicine cabinet.

"Kay" Johnnie mumbled as he curled himself. He sighed again. Closing his eyes.

Carrington returned with a bottle of sleep medication and a glass of water.

He sat back down on the bed and looked at Johnnie, his heart aching once again at the sight of him looking so small and vulnerable.
"Sit up for me, love. I've got your meds."

Johnnie opened his eyes. He sits up. He grabbed the glass of water. Then he grabbed the pills. "Thanks Carrington" he said. He takes the pills. Then drink the water down.

"Of course, baby."

Carrington set the glass down on the nightstand, watching as Johnnie swallowed the pills. He knew they would take a bit to kick in, but he hoped that they would work and give his lover some much needed rest.

He laid back down and held his arms open for Johnnie to crawl back into them.

Johnnie crawled into Carrington's arms. Venting out his feelings, "I've been feeling insecure and depressed lately. Haven't slept much or hardly at all. I feel ugly and shitty."

Carrington listened intently as Johnnie opened up to him, his heart aching even more with every word. He wrapped his arms tightly around him, pulling him closer to his chest.

"Oh, love..."
He began rubbing his back again, trying to soothe him."You're not ugly or shitty. You're beautiful, inside and out. And you know I'm always here for you, no matter what."

"Thanks babe, just been going through a rough patch i suppose" Johnnie yawned

Carrington hummed softly, gently carding his fingers through Johnnie's hair.

"It's okay to go through rough patches. But don't forget that I'm always here to help you through them, okay? You don't have to go through it alone."

"I know. I just thought it would pass but it never left. So i finally came open about it." Johnnie yawned again.

Carrington placed another kiss on Johnnie's forehead, a small smile on his lips.

"I'm glad you came to me. You know I don't mind lending an ear or cuddles when you need it."

He felt the way Johnnie's body was beginning to relax against his own, the sleep medication slowly taking effect.

"Well you're my boyfriend, of course I'm gonna tell you" Johnnie kissed Carrington's lips. "But I didn't want to be a bother to you either"

Carrington chuckled softly, his heart fluttering as Johnnie kissed him. He cupped his face gently and deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling away.

"You're never a bother, love. I want you to be able to come to me whenever you need something. Whether it's a shoulder to cry on or just a warm body to hold you."

Johnnie felt a small smile creep up on his lips. "Just you being here with me is enough."

Carrington's heart melted at the sight of the small smile on Johnnie's face. He gently brushed a few strands of hair away from his forehead, admiring his lover's beautiful features.

"Good. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what."

Johnnie felt his eyes get droopy. He fell asleep from the medicine. He cuddled up to his boyfriend and sleeps.

Carrington smiled as he felt Johnnie's body go limp in his arms. He held him close, making sure he was comfortable as he slept.

He stayed awake, gently running his fingers through his lover's hair and watching over him as he slept.

Staying there for him like he has said, not breaking his promise.

The end
1,145 words