kitten || muke au

forty

...

"did he hurt you?"

michael shook his head, hands still covering his face. he felt like a coward. he felt small. and childish. and sad. he hated it.

"come on, michael, let's get you upstairs."

britt helped him stand up and ushered him up the stairs as quietly as she could, flinching whenever her foot came in contact with a squeaky floorboard. once they made it to michael's room, britt made sure michael was in his bed before sitting down next to him.

"he used to own you." she said in a low, sad voice. "now he wants you back."

michael nodded. he wanted to make her feel better. he wanted to hold her hand or tell her it wasn't his fault and it wouldn't happen. he wanted to apologize. he didn't know what for, but he felt so terrible for her.

michael found himself staring at britt. not in a lovey-dovey way. in a curious way.

he felt that if you look at someone long enough, you could see secrets from under their skin. and he saw so many. 

only her secrets weren't under her skin. they were on them.

with her wrists overturned and her sleeves folded up, her secrets were exposed.

he glanced up at her eyes to see she was staring down at her secrets, too. her eyes watery and full of sadness.

michael suddenly felt the need to hold britt. so he did. and she felt so small in his arms and he realized that sometimes people who you need need you, too. and as much as he disliked her a month ago, he was thankful for her.

"calum doesn't know. I feel like he doesn't even care." she mumbled against michael's chest.

"about... about your... wrists?" he asked. she nodded.

he noticed her tail wrapped around the rest of her body, an action furries usually only do when they're sad and scared. michael's heart dropped to his stomach and he held britt tighter. she didn't deserve this. no one did.

-

soon enough calum walked into the room. michael had set a sleeping britt down next to him on his bed and had pulled homework out to keep him busy. he gathered his things by stuffing them into a bag and hurriedly followed calum (who was carrying britt) out with arms full.

the ride was silent as usual. britt had fallen asleep again and michael had his eyes glued out his window, looking anywhere but calum's face.

"you know I love you, right, michael?" 

michael didn't say anything in return. he kept his face neutral, and tried counting how many trees they passed buy.

one.

three.

eight.

eleven.

eleven.

nine.

six.

a loud sigh was heard from the front of the car and michael willed his eyes to not look at him. to not take one glance at that monster.

"I could take care of you, you know. I could treat you like how I used to and I know damn well that's better than luke. you don't know how much I love you, you're too caught up to see it. do you realize that, michael?

"I could give you the whole entire wold if you asked me. I wouldn't complain, or toss the thought over my shoulder. you would be happy with me. you know how I know that? because you where when I already had you."

"then why would you leave me in the first place?" michael asked dully, running a hand through his light pink hair.

it was silent in the car once again, and michael took notice how calum had gripped the steering wheel so that his knuckles were pale.

"it's not like I didn't want you, baby boy." the kiwi boy said quietly, "and there hadn't been a day when you weren't by my side that I longed for you."

michael looked up the rearview mirror and took a good, long look at him. and what he saw, even though he was repulsed by the raven haired boy, it broke his heart.

calum was never, ever one to cry.

his eyes were slightly puffy, and he was blinking away the tears. his bottom lip was trapped in between his teeth and his knuckles weren't just pale, they gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his usual tan skin was now white.

a tear slipped past his eyes, but the kiwi boy was quick to wipe it away, muttering a soft and concentrated "fuck" under his breath and sniffling afterwards. the sight made michael rethink his decision. 

yes, calum was a great dominant. er, had been a great dominant. he was wonderful when he had michael. but with that said, the past couple days have been hell. calum hurt michael. bad. he could never forgive him for that. plus, luke made michael happy. and he could actually trust luke.

it wasn't that michael could never trust calum, it was that right now, he wanted luke. and it sounds dumb and selfish for him to say this, but, michael deserved what he wanted.

"listen, baby, I'm giving you another chance. this is your chance to say you want me back. because I've never wanted someone so bad in my life." calum had a trail of hot tears roll down his cheeks, and he was still biting his lip. he took one glance at michael through the mirror up top.

michael softly shook his head, staring at his hands. "I'm sorry, calum."

he didn't want to feel sorry. he tried shaking the feelings, but once he glanced back up at calum, no other feeling but sorrow washed upon him. he felt sorry for him.

calum nodded, wiping his tears away. they were just three minutes away from the terminal now, and michael wanted him to hurry up already. time seemed to go slower, though, and silence sunk back into their bones.

it was a torturing  three minutes, with michael fiddling constantly with his soft fingers and biting his lips lightly.

once calum pulled into the pick-up lane, michael's eyes immediately searched for luke. among the many faces, he spotted a pale boy, with quiffed up hair and in all black.

and michael's mind replayed to the time when he first saw luke.

-

angels! the week with calum is over!!

sorry it's been taking me forever to update this damn book :/

winter break is literally ending, but hopefully I can get one more update in before it ends.

stay tuned, stay happy, angels :)