Faults, Scars, and Guitar Strings

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Alicia didn't know what to say. I did know that much about her. We sat there staring at each other as tears started to form in her eyes. I wanted to skip this part of the conversation. I don't care if we make up or not. I wish this day never happened.

"If you're not going to say anything can we at least go down to eat?" I said.

"I didn't know it was that bad," Alicia said.

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't know it was that bad," she repeated, "David said that things have been bad and he moved back for a while. When I asked how they were bad he said you weren't doing well. He told me he was trying to convince you not to kill yourself. We argued...for days about whether I should come back or not. I wanted to Kayla, SO BADLY, but David said it would be bad for your recovery. He said it would ruin everything. Kayla I couldn't stay away. I got in my car and drove here. I called David after I was already here."

"How did you know where to find me if David didn't want you to know?" I asked her.

"I guessed. The cemetery was actually the second place I checked. When you ran away, I called David and told him how upset you were," she said.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He yelled at me. Told me I shouldn't have come," she said, "then he hung up on me to go look for you. Kay, this family came together because of you. I know me and David were closer as kids and you felt left out, but it's not like that now. We didn't even talk that much while I was gone, he was mad at me."

"But he still helped," I said, "Why would he do that?"

"Truth?" she said.

"Yes."

"He agreed with you guys. I didn't. The only way I was going to get away from those horrible people is if they thought I was dead," she said.

"But why did we have to believe it?" I asked.

"Because you wouldn't have lied for me," she said, "You would have tried, but they would have known it wasn't true. They have their ways of finding things out. Kay I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or anyone else. I had to get out of here. Haven't you ever felt that way?"

Before all this happened, I would have easily answered yes. Not only that, I would have asked to run away with her. I was looking at her now, disgusted. All I wanted was an apology and I got it, but what about my sister? She wasn't here anymore; I have no idea who she is. Do I really want somebody like this in my life? What if something happens again? What if she gets involved in the wrong things again? Would she put us through all this again to save herself?

"What did you expect in coming here?" I asked, "For forgiveness? For things to go back to the way they were before? Because that's not going to happen."

"I came to help my sister who was in trouble," she replied.

"I don't need your help. I have all the people I need."

"Like Lolita?" she said, "Come on Kay I'm always going to be your sister."

"No," I said, "Lolita has been there for me more than you have my entire life. She's knows what I've been through and she's been helping me. She's more my sister than you are which is saying a lot considering I've known her... what? A day? It's pretty ironic how I have made a better connection with her than you, don't you think?"

"I know you're probably not going to forgive me, but at least let me try and help. I couldn't stand being away while you were suffering," she said. "No matter what you may believe, I do love my family and I want to be here when you need me. Can't you at least believe that?"