Faults, Scars, and Guitar Strings

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Kayla I'm so glad you're okay!" David said hugging me again. "I was so worried we had lost you."

"I realized something," I told him, "I was so stupid."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I was so stupid to try and kill myself before. I'm so young and I have so much to live for. I don't even know why I tried in the first place," I said. "I can't believe it took me until now to realize it, but I was so depressed and so sick."

"Because you let them get to you," David said, "but you're different now."

"And we are so glad you're alive," my mom added with tears in her eyes.

"I am too," I said, "I really am. Maybe I needed this to happen. Otherwise I never would have realized how precious life really is. I never understood it before. I wanted to, but I didn't. I love you all so much."

"Sometimes people don't believe something just by hearing it," my dad said, "a lot of times they need to experience it for themselves, otherwise they will never know."

"Yeah... that's exactly what it was," I said, "Wait, where's Lolita? Is she here? I didn't mean to worry all of you so much."

"It's okay," David said, "Calm down; she's waiting in the hall. She was giving us time to talk to you."

"Can I talk to her now?" I asked.

"Of course," David smiled, "We'll go get something to eat and come back."

"Okay," I said, "Thanks and make sure it's something really good."

"No problem sis," David chuckled. "I'll make sure it's something really good."

David and my parents walked out together and I waited for Lolita to come in. I could have ended up in the hospital a dozen times if I never stopped cutting. When I used to cut I made sure it didn't go too deep because I didn't want to get caught. I didn't want to end up in the hospital, I wanted the pain to go away, but I could have gone too deep. One cut too deep and I could have been in here for that. I didn't think anybody would show up to see if I'm okay. Now I know that they will; a lot of people will show up. I'm a lot more loved than I ever realized. I saw Lolita walk in the room and she had tears in her eyes. She really cares too.

I told her all about my new realization and it made her really happy. I tried to get her to stop crying, but she kept saying it was only because she was so happy. I'll always be a fan, but now we are so much more than that. Now we are best friends and we're here supporting each other through all of our hard times. I know she'll always be here by my hospital bed whenever I need her and she knows I'd show up for her if she was in here too.

"You look horrible," she said joking around.

"I probably do. I don't even want to know what I look like. Hospitals always make people look horrible," I said.

"They make everyone look horrible, I agree," Lolita said, "Trust me, it's not you. So you're going to the assembly Friday?"

"Definitely," I told her, "but you can't tell anyone else. It has to be a surprise, so the bullies can get the full emotional effect."

"That's the point of this?" she said, "Just so they can get the full emotional effect?"

"Of course," I said, "They stabbed me, it's payback!"

Lolita started laughing, "This is why I love you."

I laughed along with her, "I'm in such a good place now. I love it. I can't let them get to me now."