Angel (Daryl Dixion x Reader)

~42~ (Lemon)

The horrendous feeling roiling in your stomach only becomes more vengeful with every step you take across the cement to the gate. The guilt of Merle's death weighed so heavily on your chest that it was an effort not to start panting for breath. Especially after your detour to collect the letters that Merle had left in the room where he'd over powered you. Not daring to open yours until Daryl had read lead his. So, instead of submitting to your overwhelming feelings of worry and grief, you go to unlocked the gate. Only to immediately lock it back as soon as your through. Grateful that there were no walker's to kill so you didn't drop the noodle soup you knew Daryl would refuse. You have to yank the tower door open with some extra effort because your husband had slammed it so hard, it had stuck. As cautiously as possible you stalked up the metal steps, listening carefully. Every step up made the two pieces of paper within your back pocket that much heavier. You didn't hear anything that indicated that Daryl was up there at all, which only made you all the more nervous. Stepping up the last few steps, you didn't see him in the tower, so your eyes snap to the balcony with a slight wave of panic. Your over come with a brief wave of relief when you see him standing out there, but it was a short lived feeling. His shoulders and arms were so tense as he leaned against the rail. His was head dropped almost in defeat as he stood there, completely ignoring you if he heard you come up the steps.

Quietly you stalk towards the door of the tower leading out to the balcony. "Daryl.." you ask barely above a whisper. He flinches, his head turning ever so slightly to the side but his eyes don't meet yours. He hadn't heard you then. "I brought you something to eat." You tell him softly and his head turns back away. You sigh a bit expecting as much while you set the bowl down on one of the chairs against the wall before stepping up a little closer behind him. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" You ask in a quiet small voice. Hating how hurt your voice sounded when he was the one who was grieving so deeply. His head shakes once with a silent no, and immediately your hands snake around this torso to hug him tightly from behind. His body was so painfully taut you knew he was still in so much anguish that he didn't know what to do with himself. "I love you.." you whisper, "and I'm so sorry.." you breathe. He just sighs and nods a bit, letting his head rise as he looks up at the deep burnt orange sky of the late setting sun. He knew you loved him, and he knew how sorry you were. Knew how you'd raced to try and save his big brother. Even though apart of him knew his brother didn't deserve that type of loyalty from you. The fact that you did so without regard to your own life told him you did it for him. That you raced towards certain death, just to spare his brother of it. To spare him from this. And it had scared the absolute shit out of him to have realized that.

But not as much as when he'd heard you scream earlier. He'd never felt terror like that before. Not even when he learned you might not wake up on Hershel's farm. His whole world had shifted in that very moment. When he thought the walkers had gotten to you. He was so relieved to find you unbitten, only for that relief to be torn away when he realized you hadn't made it in time. He was used to being alone in his life. Used to being the outcast, but only because he'd almost always had his big brother by his side. Now, all he truly had was you. And if his seemingly invincible brother could be taken from his so easily? He couldn't even let himself finish the thought. Wouldn't let himself go there. Not when his chest already felt so suffocatingly heavy. Like someone had ripped out his heart and replaced it with a jagged stone. So he lets his head drop again, slowly releasing the rail, and turns to face you. His hands cup your cheeks gently, your hand grabbing ahold his forearms as he searches your eyes. Bright and full of concern as they stare into his absolutely exhausted ones. Your lips part to speak, to tell him about the letter his brother left for him, but he cuts you off as he leans down and kisses you. Your eyes go a bit wide with shock, but you kiss him back non the less. When you go to pull back, he don't let you. One of his hands coming behind the nape of your neck, keeping you there as his kisses slowly turn desperate.