Angel (Daryl Dixion x Reader)

~2~

 

Sitting around the camp fire that night, you felt happy for the first time in a long while. Even if you felt a remaining anger at the thought of Merle cuffed on that roof top in Atlanta. All alone, scared, dehydrated, and possibly dying of not dead already. You understood why they'd left Merle up there. There hadn't been time. Not when T-Dog had dropped the key and the walkers had gotten into the building. Still, the whole situation did not sit well with you. Not at all. Rick starts telling his story from across the fire on how he made it back to all of you, as Dale had asked. "..Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Fear, confusion, all those things... but disoriented comes closest." Rick says as he looks up at you across from the fire flickering illuminating his face, and you can see the lingering fear in his eyes from the whole experience. "Words can be meager things, sometimes they fall short." Dale says as he watches your brother who still holds eye contact with you. Seeking the silent comfort and stillness from you that you were more than happy to give.

You only avert your eyes back to the fire after he glances back to Carl who hugs him close. You nod in silence agreeing of Dale's words while mindlessly fiddling with your dog tags. Words can always fall short, especially for you. You barely spoke in the weeks you were up on that quarry ledge. If and when you did speak, it wasn't that much. Shane had tried to get you to open up about anything. Apart of you had wanted to ease that sharp worry in your dark eyes brothers gaze when he looked at you, but you just couldn't. Not when you knew he wanted you to eventually talk about your active service. He saw how it had changed you, and he wanted to know why you were less than you had been. You didn't have it in you to eventually talk begin to explain. Especially not when that worry could, and likely would, turn into something far worse. "I felt like I had been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For a while, I thought I was trapped in some sort of dream, something I might not wake up from...ever." Rick say continuing his story. Your brows briefly knit at that. Only briefly, because you knew exactly how that felt as well, and it wasn't a good feeling. Nor was it one that would ever fall back into place for a sense of normalcy.

"Mom said you died." Carl speaks up from beside his dad. Your eyes snap up to him in surprise at that. Your hand still holding the cool metal in between your fingers tightening ever so slightly. Rick just looked down at him, "She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt that." Rick says as he squeezes his son in gentle reassurance. You were about to say something until Lori's voice beats you to it. "When things got really bad, they said that they were gonna medevac you and other critical patients to another hospital.. but it never happened." She tells Rick, looking away in disgusted shame. A look you mirror when you glance down again into the low burning fire. Remembering well how you had a gut wrenching feeling of distrust when you'd heard Lori relay the message the hospital staff had told her.

Rick sighs a bit, "Yeah, well- I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell, and from the looks of that hospital, it got overrun." Rick says back to her softly. You roll your eyes and bite your tongue. Thinking of all the hundred different ways the military could have held the hospital instead of blowing it to Hell. There hasn't been a day since it went up that you hadn't second guessed the way that while situation was handled. Apart of you knew you could have executed that whole situation better. That part of you that you'd never speak allowed because you knew it would only earn you more pressure to talk from Shane, and even more questions from others.

"Yeah looks don't deceive. I barely got them out ya know? If it wasn't for (Y/n), I don't think we would have made it." Shane says softly. Earning him a sideways glance from you, before your looking back at the fire. Choosing not to call him out on that utter bullshit. "I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane." Rick tells Shane. "(Y/n), I can't even begin to express it." Your twin adds making you glance up at him. Finding him looking at you with a genuinely grateful gaze and gentle smile. You smile softly, finding it wasn't forced this time. A surprisingly exhausting gesture that didn't last very long as you slowly look back down. Everyone sits around the dying fire for a few more minutes before you finally give into the urge to escape the glances of everyone. So you sigh and stand up, "Alright, I'll take first watch. Good night, everyone." You say in front of your lawn chair before walking towards the RV. Only to be stoped by Carl's voice.