Angel (Daryl Dixion x Reader)

~68~

( Hey y'all. So this one has heavy mentions of SA and rape. I have marked that bit with a ~ and also ended it with a ~. So if you can't read stuff like that, skip to the end of the chapter, and I'll give a quick summary about what's happened in those paragraphs, without anything too graphic of course. If you can't mentally handle those subjects, please, do not consume it. I love y'all, and I do not want my readers mental health to take a blow. I love y'all! Happy reading! <3 )

   Four weeks later, you stand atop the wall. It was where you'd been most these past weeks. Keeping an eye and ear out for any sign of saviors. There wasn't any. It was quiet.. way too fucking quiet. Clearing walkers and hoping they'd show their ugly faces was the only thing keeping you from going completely insane. Except for today. Today you were waiting on Aberham and Eugene to get back. Apparently Eugen knew of a place where he could start making bullets and Abe went with him to scope it out. All the while, Daryl, Rosita, and Denise had gone on a possible medicine supply run. Daryl did not wanna go, but Rosita insisted he was gonna help her "babysit" Denise on her first run. You'd been worried about your husband lately, just as much as he was about you. None of y'all had really spoken of what you'd all done at the saviors outpost. Worst of all, most of the group had heard about what you'd done to the savor asshole to save Carol and Maggie. It was like you'd went back to the quarry and Hershel's farm. They all looked at you... different. A look you thought you'd never see from your family again. You'd brought up the possibility of there being other outposts. That if there was, which was extremely likely, there was certainly a home base for these Saviors. Rick and Shane decided that it was unlikely, or rather, just to leave it alone. Even when Carol pointed out that one of the women who held her and Maggie had also said what the man you'd made into a cyclops said. "I am Negan." Is exactly what cyclops had said to Rick. And that other woman had said, "We are all Negan." to Carol, but didn't really elaborate on what that meant. Not that Carol didn't try to get the woman to clarify. You just couldn't shake the sure gut feeling that there were more. A lot more. Daryl couldn't either. Mainly because the assholes from that burnt forest, the ones who took his bike and his cross bow, weren't there. He'd pointed that out, but Rick and Shane decided that we shouldn't go looking for them. Your bothers seemingly wanted to leave well enough alone and not pester a possible hornets nest. To which you argued whatever trouble laid in that snakes nest had already been pestered. That you knew it was too late to not have cause a whole world of trouble. Which was exactly why you fought and insisted for extra guard shifts, extra training of the Alexandrian's, and most of all extra supply stashes of weapons, ammo, food, and medicine. Abraham was completely on your side, also pointing out that all of you had already poked the hornets nest by taking out the outpost. Stating that it was only a matter of time before the saviors and Alexandria clashed again. Next time, you were afraid it would be all out war. A war Alexandria wasn't prepared for in the slightest. You could all but smell it brewing, and so could Abraham.

Daryl was going through the same motions in a way. Yet, after Shane and Rick shut down all your voiced concerns, Daryl absolutely refused to speak about it any farther. You couldn't even fuck out what was going through that head of his half the time now. He was so pissed off and worried that it was beginning to eat him alive. It was miles worse at night. Not only were you waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares, but now, so was he. Well, at least when his sleep paralysis wasn't locking him up and making him fall into a full blown panic attack. The only good thing that came from this was your husband making love to you like he was anticipating losing you for good. Every night and every morning he did. He was so pent up and seemingly angry that it was making him shut down. You'd stopped asking. Had learned your lesson the first twenty times you tried to get him to just talk to you. You two had literally only argued the one time back at Hershel's farm. Well that and a bit at the prison when you were so mad at him for abandoning you. But recently? You two had gotten into a record breaking twenty absolute screaming matches over this. Over him refusing to talk to you about literally anything. You knew what it was. He was so pissed he had volunteered your family for the out post slaughter. Pissed off that he hadn't killed Dwight in the woods. That was what he was really mad about. That and the fact that he'd accidentally drug you and Aberham right back into the darkness of your pasts. Rick's whole house knew you two were struggling. Hell, even the ones not living under your shared roof did. Your brothers, your nephew, and Michonne all heard you wake up screaming every single night since the outpost. They heard you and your husband both fighting. Daryl blamed himself for all of it entirely and couldn't, or rather wouldn't  talk about it. Even though you tried to tell him it was inevitable. That you had been this way for years before you'd met him, and Aberham too. It wasn't anything your husband had done. Daryl however, didn't believe you or rather he wouldn't. After every fight he'd eventually come back to your bed and try to make it up to you for yelling back at you. Not that you were even mad at that point.