Admiring You From Afar

28

Day 20 of collecting bible verses to keep my hopes up

Psalms 23:1
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Psalms 23:2
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.

Psalms 23:3
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Psalms 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me

Psalms 30:2
O LORD MY GOD, I called to you for help and you healed me.

I claim it. I manifest it. I believe in you.

Psalms 46:5
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

God will help me survive this. He is there. He protected me by his blood. I know that. He is God. He knows the best, the better way is Him.

Weeks had passed again and another month to begin with. The thought that I could still experience Christmas is giving me more energy to trust in Him. Ni hindi ko nga naisip na makakapasko pa pala akong buhay. Five days nalang kaya before Christmas! This Christmas might be more magical than before. So here I am. Writing my Christmas list and writing some verses I memorized earlier. This was my routine everyday kaya hindi ako napapagod sa araw-araw. God sustain me strength and energy to stay strong.

Nahalungkat ko rin kanina ang nasulat kong list na maaabutan ko habang nabubuhay pa ako. Wala pa namang dumagdag pa, I'm waiting these to happen pa. Sana nga maabutan ko pa. Napangiti nalang ako nang mabasa ulit 'yon.

'My Alaska' my foot. But I just let it. I let myself be happy at that simple thought.

"Alaska?"

He whispered and look at me. Amoy ko ang pabango niya. Nagulat lang ako slight when he went closer and read what I had wrote. Matagal ko na 'tong sinulat eh, nahiya tuloy ako.

"You've got so many bible verses for today. How are you feeling, love?" he smiled.

Tinignan ko siya at nginitian din. Just looking at his concerned eyes make me smile. I can't take it if these beautiful eyes of him cry for me. Kakayanin ko. Para sa kaniya. I will live for him.

"I'm good," sagot ko.

Mas tumagal ang pagtitig niya sa 'kin. "Sure?"

I let a soft chuckle. "Hmm, okay naman na ang pakiramdam ko. Don't worry about me." I even wink at him to assure him that I am okay.

Tumango siya at inabot ang kamay ko. He gently held it. Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniya habang tahimik niyang hinahawakan ang kamay ko. "Your hand's cold. Nilalamig ka ba?" he looked at me.

Umiling lang ako sa kaniya at tahimik na pinapanood siya. He rub his hands on mine to make it warm. I smiled. Ang lambot kasi ng kamay niya. He then intertwined our hands together.

"If you feel something unusual or pain, may your hands reach me to hold it." He moved my hands and kiss the back of it. Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniya habang ginagawa niya 'yon. "Please... Let me know kung may masakit pa, Lia. Please don't hesitate to tell me what you felt. Kahit masakit, be honest to me. Nasasaktan din ako. Na hindi mo sinasabi sa akin ang lahat." saad niya kaya malungkot akong napangiti.

"'Di ba pwedeng hati nalang tayo diyan sa sakit mo? We're twin."

Natahimik lang ako. Mas ayaw kong mangyari 'yon. Ayaw kong masaktan siya. I don't want anyone whom I love experience this kind of suffering in this cruel world.