Silence lingered in the atmosphere as the tension in the car grew thick. I couldn't say that I blamed the poor girl-after all she had lost both of her parents and now she had lost her best friend. As I looked over at her, her reflection could be seen through the glass window. Her beautiful face had morphed into an expression of pure sadness as her glassy eyes glared blankly out the window. Her plump, rosy lips had been formed into a frown as her jaw tightened while little teardrops rolled down her peach colored flesh.
Facing towards the road again, I tried to focus on driving and not on the fact that she was literally sitting next to me and silently crying. I was never a fan of crying, for I had always thought it was a sign of vulnerability, of weakness. Yet I couldn't help but to see her as a delicate flower that had just been crushed. Sure, she's still intact, but she's crumbling and falling apart and for some odd reason, I felt like I was obligated to help her.
My job was to keep her safe, not give her emotional support. I didn't want to talk to her or get wrapped up in any of this, yet part of me felt like I needed to. She was none of my business nor were her emotions, and even I could tell you that I was definitely not the most emotional or expressive person around. In fact, I'd even like to believe that I was born without emotions-robotic you could say. I was made to live, carry out orders, and nothing else. But in this particular moment, this girl was making me feel something I have never felt before: attachment.
Attachments are the worst thing a person could ever have. Take it from me, getting attached to people isn't worth it. You invest your time with someone thinking that they will show affection towards you-especially as an adolescent- but in return, all you do is end up getting shut down. No love is ever expressed from good intention, but from the sole fact of getting something in return. That's it. It's just a game of take, no giving is involved within this process. So instead of repeating the same history again and again, I just try to avoid attachments all together.
KL Kiyano has this way of being that just makes her radiant. She can brighten up anybody's day, yet I can see that she's struggling, feel that she's struggling and I can't help but feel like she really just needs someone there for her. Obviously, I definitely am trying to avoid being that person but fate keeps working in its odd way and keeps leading me straight back to her. So here I am alone in a car with her crying, and am cornered with no choice to ask her if she is okay even though I already know that she isn't.
Steadying my focus on the road, I built up the guts to speak up. "Hey," I began.
From my peripheral vision, I could see her head move and her face looking over at me curiously. "Are you talking to me?" She asked.
Biting my tongue from replying with a sarcastic remark, I calmed myself down and replied with a simple, "Yes, I am." Intuitively, my mouth began to blabber things that I had not even processed through my mind. I did my best not to panic. " I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about earlier. I wish it had never ended that way." Of course Seth had annoyed me to the extreme, but I would have never wished death upon the poor guy.
" Yeah, me either," she replied in a weakened voice, letting a sigh escape. "I just miss him," she began. " I miss them," she cried. She was struggling to keep composure and I was trying my best to control myself from getting annoyed at her wailing. I knew this was going to happen, I just knew it.
" Hey, I know this is hard," I started off calmly. As you can tell, I'm not the best conversation maker. I continued, "I'm so sorry for the losses you've had. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be in your position."
" It's really hard," she replied. Through my peripheral vision, I saw her wipe tears off of her face.
"Especially when you have to go through it alone. I used to be so happy, so excited to live out life. I mean, I was looking forward to making a life for myself: finish high school, get a place, get married, have kids. Now look at me. I just don't feel alive anymore. I feel like all of the life is sucked out of me, like I have no future. I'm not going to be successful, I'm going to be alone. I don't have my parents or my best friend. I have no one to talk to. My life is just so lonely right now and everyday I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper into this dark abyss of depression. It feels horrible and abnormal because it just doesn't feel like me, but I don't know what to do or where to go. I don't even know why I'm telling you this," she cried as she buried her face in her hands.
YOU ARE READING
Broken
Science Fiction[COMPLETED] An average girl in an average world, KL Kiyano had no idea of the amount of power that she possessed. After all, she was just a normal teenager that was trying to find her place in this world. At least that's what she told herself up u...
