I wake up and for about 2 seconds I forget what happened. I immediately start crying again.
"Why. Why. Why. " I say clenching a pillow.
Savanna starts to wake up.
"Hey... Are you okay?" She asks me.
I shake my head no and start to cry more.
"Okay... I'm going to text Lachlan." She says
*
"You might want to see this." She says handing me her phone.
It's a video
Lachlan: hey Preston? How are you?
Preston: I don't want to talk about it Lachlan.He looks like he's been crying
Lachlan: did you get any sleep at all last night?
Preston: No.
Lachlan: your kids want to see you.
Preston: send them in.
Ryker: Daddy what's wrong?
Preston: nothing I'm fine. *fakes a smile* I'm just gonna be really busy today so you are going to a place where you will have a bunch of other kids to play with okay?
Aurora: Okay... But where is mommy?
Preston: mommy...His thoughts trail off.
Preston: mommy... Mommy is gonna be gone for a while... I don't know when she's coming back. But you got to know we love you both.
Ryker: do you miss mommy?
Preston: yes.... Yes I miss mommy very much.*end of video*
I start crying.
"I'm gonna go over there and see wilder. Are you gonna be okay?" Savanna says to me.
"Yeah I'll be fine." I nod.
"Okay "
She leaves and I am alone. I grab my pillow and sob. Why. Why am I even here anymore. I'll just watch some YouTube. Grab my laptop and sign into YouTube, the first video : I GOT A GIRLFRIEND?!? ~ TBNRfrags.
I sob even more. I click on it.
I watch through the whole video. Why did I even say yes? Then the video disappeared.This video is no longer available, requested by the owner
He took the video down... I scream.
WHY WHY WHY. Why the fuck am I still alive? I'm not going to ever be happy again. I just want to die. Please just let me die. I'll never be happy again. I loved him and I thought he loved me too. I. Thought he trusted me. I told him that Vikk was acting really creepy, why didn't he believe me? Why is it always me? I will never be happy because the only person who made me happy now hates me.
I walk to the bathroom and grab Savanna's razor. I put it on the ground and smash the living shit out of it until all the plastic is off the metal blade. I pick it up and examine it.
Do it Mara. You will be away from everything.
I take the razor and slide it across my wrists. It doesn't even hurt anymore. My heart aches though. I cut deep about 7 more times and walk back out to the couch and text Preston goodbye.
🐙 please don't miss me. I know you won't. I just want to say thank you. Goodbye forever.
About 5 minutes later savanna rushes in.
"No no no. You're not supposed to be here" I faintly say.
I'm getting cold. I lost a lot of blood.
"Preston call 911" savanna cries.
"Don't. Please. You'll be better without me." I say loosing consciousness.
*
I wake up in a hospital.
Dammit
Preston is sitting down next to me sobbing. My wrists are in. Bandages. He looks up at me and I pretend to be unconscious still.
"Mara I am so sorry" he says taking my hand. "It's just that I thought Vikk was telling the truth we've been friends more than I've known you and I just thought he wouldn't do that. I'm so so sorry. I love you."
I open my eyes and a tear slips from them.
"Mara." He says looking at me his eyes full of tears. "I'm so so so sorry."
"Oh." I say.
"Please don't be mad at me. I love you to death."
"I love you too."
He stands up and kisses me. I feel something different in this kiss it's more passionate than the other times. He backs away and smiles.
"When can I go home?" I asks.
"Do you mean home as in your moms house or my house?"
"Our house dummy." I laugh.
"Oh right" he laughs. "You are under 72 hour suicide watch with therapy. You'll be out in like 2-3 days."
"Ugh I just want to go home and cuddle with my babe."
"I would cuddle up in there with you but I don't want to hurt you."
"It's okay."
I smile.
"I love you Mara, I don't know what I would have done without you." He says putting his forehead against mine.
"I love you too."
YOU ARE READING
Will you miss me when I'm gone?
FanfictionI'm Mara. A lot of people call me Marz tho. I'm in love with a minecraft YouTuber named Preston. His channel is prestonplayz. But the big thing is I met him and this is my story.