Will you miss me when I'm gone?

•Chapter 25•

I wake up and for about 2 seconds I forget what happened. I immediately start crying again.

"Why. Why. Why. " I say clenching a pillow.

Savanna starts to wake up.

"Hey... Are you okay?" She asks me.

I shake my head no and start to cry more.

"Okay... I'm going to text Lachlan." She says

*

"You might want to see this." She says handing me her phone.

It's a video

Lachlan: hey Preston? How are you?
Preston: I don't want to talk about it Lachlan.

He looks like he's been crying

Lachlan: did you get any sleep at all last night?
Preston: No.
Lachlan: your kids want to see you.
Preston: send them in.
Ryker: Daddy what's wrong?
Preston: nothing I'm fine. *fakes a smile* I'm just gonna be really busy today so you are going to a place where you will have a bunch of other kids to play with okay?
Aurora: Okay... But where is mommy?
Preston: mommy...

His thoughts trail off.

Preston: mommy... Mommy is gonna be gone for a while... I don't know when she's coming back. But you got to know we love you both.
Ryker: do you miss mommy?
Preston: yes.... Yes I miss mommy very much.

*end of video*

I start crying.

"I'm gonna go over there and see wilder. Are you gonna be okay?" Savanna says to me.

"Yeah I'll be fine." I nod.

"Okay "

She leaves and I am alone. I grab my pillow and sob. Why. Why am I even here anymore. I'll just watch some YouTube. Grab my laptop and sign into YouTube, the first video : I GOT A GIRLFRIEND?!? ~ TBNRfrags.
I sob even more. I click on it.
I watch through the whole video. Why did I even say yes? Then the video disappeared.

This video is no longer available, requested by the owner

He took the video down... I scream.

WHY WHY WHY. Why the fuck am I still alive? I'm not going to ever be happy again. I just want to die. Please just let me die. I'll never be happy again. I loved him and I thought he loved me too. I. Thought he trusted me. I told him that Vikk was acting really creepy, why didn't he believe me? Why is it always me? I will never be happy because the only person who made me happy now hates me.

I walk to the bathroom and grab Savanna's razor. I put it on the ground and smash the living shit out of it until all the plastic is off the metal blade. I pick it up and examine it.

Do it Mara. You will be away from everything.

I take the razor and slide it across my wrists. It doesn't even hurt anymore. My heart aches though. I cut deep about 7 more times and walk back out to the couch and text Preston goodbye.

🐙 please don't miss me. I know you won't. I just want to say thank you. Goodbye forever.

About 5 minutes later savanna rushes in.

"No no no. You're not supposed to be here" I faintly say.

I'm getting cold. I lost a lot of blood.

"Preston call 911" savanna cries.

"Don't. Please. You'll be better without me." I say loosing consciousness.

*

I wake up in a hospital.

Dammit

Preston is sitting down next to me sobbing. My wrists are in. Bandages. He looks up at me and I pretend to be unconscious still.

"Mara I am so sorry" he says taking my hand. "It's just that I thought Vikk was telling the truth we've been friends more than I've known you and I just thought he wouldn't do that. I'm so so sorry. I love you."

I open my eyes and a tear slips from them.

"Mara." He says looking at me his eyes full of tears. "I'm so so so sorry."

"Oh." I say.

"Please don't be mad at me. I love you to death."

"I love you too."

He stands up and kisses me. I feel something different in this kiss it's more passionate than the other times. He backs away and smiles.

"When can I go home?" I asks.

"Do you mean home as in your moms house or my house?"

"Our house dummy." I laugh.

"Oh right" he laughs. "You are under 72 hour suicide watch with therapy. You'll be out in like 2-3 days."

"Ugh I just want to go home and cuddle with my babe."

"I would cuddle up in there with you but I don't want to hurt you."

"It's okay."

I smile.

"I love you Mara, I don't know what I would have done without you." He says putting his forehead against mine.

"I love you too."