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"Why did you come there? To my place that is" Cheng Xiaoshi sat beside you, looking at the night sky above.
You meanwhile stared at him. Seeing his face after such a long time, it pained you. You had almost forgotten how he looked.
"Ah it's kind of stupid..." you laughed softly
"Just tell me" he responded sharply.
Yours lips were a thin line, his words had no warmth. You laughed at yourself mentally, you had this small hope deep down buried somewhere. That he would miraculously after seeing you, love you again. No questions asked.He would hug you, console you.
It was so fucking selfish of you.... Yet you couldn't help but hope.
After all you had done to him, this indifference should have been expected.
'You hate me don't you'
"I saw a article online about a witch who can see into photos..."
"What could you possibly want from someone looking through your photos" he scoffed.
You fiddled with your fingers. "I wanted to ask if I could go through the photo instead..."
He blinked, turning his head to look at you. "What?"
One day, you came across an article about looking through photos and experiencing the memories they contain. And you immediately were desperate to meet that person.
You would do anything to relive those sweet memories again. See him again.
The thought had crossed yr mind, that the article might be someone bullshitting.
But, what if, just maybe.
It were true.
And for that slim chance, you immediately flew from America back to your hometown.
Perhaps it was an excuse though. Maybe you were just looking for a reason to come back to this place. Deep down you wanted to. But you were a coward.
All your life, you were just a fucking coward.
However, you never thought you would run across Cheng Xiaoshi again and be this close to him.
"... It doesn't work like that." you heard him sigh. "You can't go into photos"
"Right" you lowered your head.
Silence followed you. You hated it so much. You wanted to talk to him. After all these years, you finally met him. You had to say something.
'Think, (Y/N) think! I can't let this stop now'
"D-Do you want to be friends again?"
He froze, staring into your face. His hands were shaking. He felt frustration bubbling inside him, and he spoke up before he could stop himself.
"Are you serious?" he scoffed, pure anger evident in his eyes. He couldn't believe you had the audacity to say that after everything.
"Do you want me to just accept your friendship even if you have not explained anything to me?"
You bit your lip, your nails digging into your skin.
His voice was growing louder. "Tell me (Y/N) do you think I don't deserve an explanation?" he said.
"Do you even know what I had gone through?" his shaky arms grabbed your shoulders pulling you towards him.
"Do you want to be friends? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I-I was going through a lot-" you tried, to speak out. Your throat hurt like hell, you felt like someone was carving a knife through your throat. This, this wasn't what you wanted.
"And you think I didn't know that?" his fingers dug through the fabric of your clothes.
"I could fucking see that! But I chose, chose to wait till you were comfortable"
His face was dangerously close to you. But right now, all you could feel was shame and fear.
"And like the coward you are, you just left." he laughed bitterly.
"Even after you broke up with me, I was willing to wait till you come back. I knew you were in pain, so I didn't care if you said those awful things"
He seemed out of breath, all his frustrations were just pouring out.
"And you fucking left! tell me at least now (Y/N), can you tell me the reason for you leaving?" he looked up at you desperately. He was trying desperately to ground himself with the fingers that grabbed your shoulder.
But you said nothing. What do you even say? Knowing him, if you did tell him the reason, he would find a reason to blame himself.
He was that nice.
Upon your silence his hands slowly left you shoulder. "Wow.... You are just too cruel"
"Please liste-"
"Honestly (Y/N), I wish I never met you" his gaze went to his hands. A bitter expression on his face. "I wish I never fell in love with you, I wish you never showed me happiness"
Each word broke you more and more. You desperately wanted to hold him, apologize, yet...
"Oh god, I hate you"
'huh' even if you were afraid he would despise you if he saw you again. Hearing it, from him.... Gosh it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. You wanted to stab a knife through your chest so that it would stop aching.
"If you have a speck of empathy left in you.." he got up, not looking at you. But you could see his expression.
