A Fist Full of Feathers

Chapter 12

After all of our gear is cleaned and ready to go, I start to pace around my room. Dean kept talking about how this poor reaper is trapped, and the more he talks about it, the louder the voice in my head gets. I actually had to leave the war room as Dean and Sam explained the plan. I slipped into the kitchen. Sam scared me in the kitchen. I started to raise my hand to kill him, until I caught myself and ran away. I'm terrified of what is become. I sit trembling on my bed but I get too antsy and start to pace around again. "Maybe it's not such a good idea if Alex comes on this one. I mean, I'm only letting Sam and Dean come because they're professionals and they organized this to help me. But Alex is a professional too right? Yes, but Sam and Dean have Cas and Gabe to protect them. I'm supposed to protect Alex, but I can't even protect myself, much less my precious boyfriend. He's all I have left. I can't kill him. Yeah, but he deserves this as much as all of us." I mutter having a mental war with myself. Good and Bad fighting for dominance. "I think everyone deserves to die." I mutter again but slap myself. "No. This isn't right. Alex will come, I'll get Luci or Mike or Anna or Brit to watch over him, and well free my solider. No one will die." I say getting control of myself. When I stop pacing I finally notice that my huge, ominous, black wings are fluttering nervously behind me. If the situation wasn't so tense for me, I'd laugh at how out of place the little nervous twitch. "Yes. Obviously it's a good idea let the fucking devil to look after our boyfriend. Hey! His name is Lucifer and he is perfectly capable of looking after Alex. He knows better then anyone that Alex is our world." I state loudly, and realizing I said all this so loud, slap a hand quickly over my mouth. "Raven? Did you call me?" Luci asks confused from behind me. "Jesus! Lucifer! Hey~!" I say, laughing nervously. "Raven, are you okay?" He asks concerned. "No." I say, all nervousness and energy draining out of me as I flop down onto my bed. "I know your not. I heard your argument with yourself. It'll be okay." He says and sits next to me. "Yes, I will look over Alex. I'll get Anna, Michael, and Balthazar to look over him too." I smile and sigh. "Thank you. Thank you." I say happily. Luci smiles and I close my eyes, allowing myself to relax for the first time all day. I smile, small and weak but a smile non the less. "Alex will be here soon. Ten minutes to be exact. Were leaving five minutes after that. I'm going to start getting ready." Lucifer says and stands. "This is the first hunt I'll ever be on, but I know from experience who majorly pissed off a trapped reaper can be." He says with a laugh. "It'll take a lot out of you to calm it down." I growl. "He or she is not an it. Do you want me calling your demons it's?" I ask and Lucifer smiles. "Perfect! Save some of that fire for the reaper!" He says and saunters out of my room. I grin and start to collect my clothes. I end up wearing a pair of jet black jeans, and a backless shirt so I can't let my wings out. I add a jet black trench coat like the ones bad guys wearing in detective movies. I look at myself in the mirror. I look pretty terrifying and badass all clad in black with my weapons hanging from every inch that they can be. I smile and allow my wings to slowly slip out. I've noticed that the glitter is almost gone. It seemed to disappear after they matured more. I like them more this way actually. I smile weakly at myself and take a shaky breath. "Calm down, Raven. Your not gonna kill anyone." I tell myself shakily. I nod chanting 'No ones gonna die' like a mantra. With that I shake off my nervous, which doesn't work, then grab my bag. I take one last look at myself. The exterior looks hard and commanding. With menacing black wings, weapons of all kinds strapped everywhere, and the black clock to top it off. But the interior is just the scared little girl I pretty much am. I'm hands are shaking and my eyes are wild. I try to take deep breath, but each one is shaking and panicky. Like black and white I think mockingly. I give myself a thumbs up in the mirror and close my eyes. I struggle to gain control of myself, but in the process I almost concede control to the dark side. I open my eyes wide with a start. I'm whimpering and my face is deathly pale. "Looks like there's no space to push you back. If I push this back, another one pops forward. Looks like I'm hunting like this." I tell myself and nod taking deep shaky breath. I nod once more and exit my room. Normal if I'm nervous, I push the nerves back into my brain and let training take over, but it seems now that there's not enough space in my brain to do that anymore. I walk into the kitchen where Sam, Dean, and Cas are finishing up. Dean is helping Cas tie his tie correctly, Sam is sharpening one last knife, and Cas is looking confused at Dean who's trying to teach Cas. Dean just gives up and kisses Cas sweetly. Perfect! I think, I can use my natural wit to ease my nerves. "Awww! How adorable!" I say, only half sarcastically. Dean flips me off but Cas sees through my façade immediately though. He shoots me a concerned look and I nod. He nods and relaxes, but I can tell his guard is up. Cas is wearing his classic suit, blue tie and trench coat. Dean is wearing a worn leather jacket a black flannel, and a grey tee. Sam is wearing ruffly the same thing as Dean, but instead he's wearing a black jacket, red flannel, and black tee. Sam looks up form his blade for a minute and does a double take. "Holy shit, Raven." He says. I've gained control of my nerves, finally, and I've let my natural self take control. I smile broadly and spin. "You like?" He nods vigorously and I blush a little. "Sam! Don't be getting all straight on me now!" Gabriel complains from behind me. I laugh and Sam rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Gabriel." He says as Gabe saunters in. He wearing a simple pair of black jeans and a blue v-neck. "Are you wearing white tennis shoes?" I ask his cocking an eyebrow and he nods. "You know it! I regret nothing!" He says and I smile. All the bags are piled at the door and we wait in the kitchen for the others. Alex arrives dressed in a black tee, black skinny jeans, and a black leather jacket. His normal hunting clothes. Everyone also has an array of different weapons strapped all over our bodies. Alex walks over and grabs my hand. "Hey babe." He says and kisses me. "Hey. Ready for this?" I ask and he nods. "I have a surprise for you all!" I say excitedly and sprint to my room. I strut silently into the kitchen and stop. "Boys." I say. I'm wearing my brand new pair of silent high heeled boots. They go knee high, are all black leather, and in them I'm almost as tall as Sam. I also learned recently that I can change my hair colour with my powers, so instead of the usual magenta I hated so much, I'm now sporting the natural silky jet black hair I was named for. It looks like a ravens feathers. "Damn, Raven? I've never seen you without your magenta hair. Holy crap." Dean says and I smile. "I'm having to much fun with my new fully developed powers." I say baring a pair pointed canines, like classic movie vampires, not the real thing. Alex whistles and I grin wickedly. "Who the hell is this?" Anna asks worriedly from behind me. "It's just me Anna." I say turning around. "Oh my chuck. Raven. Your look," She says gesturing to me, "Is on point!" She finishes and I smile. "Are the fangs over kill?" I ask and she shakes her head. I smile wider and nod. Anna is wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a green tee, and a black jacket. She isn't wearing any weapons, she doesn't have any, we're gonna give the people who need them some from baby. I strut into the kitchen and sit gracefully down on the counter, coat flying dramatically behind me. I spread my wings as wide as I can in the small space then fold them neatly behind my back. "Raven: Giving death, a whole new meaning." Balthazar says and I wink. He's wearing some dark jeans and a black deep v-neck. The usual. "Her wings aren't glittery anymore!" Gabriel blurts out and sighs. "There not!" Cas says and smiles. "Your fully mature now then." I smile proudly and hold my head high. Michael and Lucifer walking in hand in hand. Lucifer is wearing jet black, almost skin tight jeans, and a black tee with matching jet black jacket. Michael is wearing a pair of black jeans, which look more like Deans, and white v-neck. "Is that Raven?" Michael asks stopping dead in his tracks. "In the flesh." I say and flash a wicked grin. "Nice. My sister has style. The fangs are a genius touch. You'd have my demons shaking in their shoes!" He says smoothly with a wink at the end. "Well, I'm finally meeting one of my soldiers. I need to make a good impression, right?" I ask and he nods. "If that's everyone, let's go." Dean says and the group moves out. "This who can fly, are flying, follow us. Alex, get in the car. Everyone leave your bags here. And for chucks sake, don't get caught!" He says and we all nod. I give Alex a quick kiss and drop my bag of extra clothes and weapons. The other angels does the same. Sam pack the car up and the three boys climb in. "Ready?" I ask as me and Cas turn the the others. "As well ever be." Anna says and I smile. "Cover up all colour with white. Thank chuck were doing this at night." I say and hand Michael one of Cas' black jackets he never wears. "It's gonna be cold." I say and people button up their jackets. I give Dean the thumbs up and spring up into the air. Cas gives Dean a kiss then follows me. Soon all seven of us are flying silently through the night sky, following the black 67 Chevy Impala below us. We reach our stop at the first lights of day. Everyone is exhausted and we book the largest room we can in an actual hotel. Not some cheesy motel, we book one room in a hotel and we make sure that there's enough beds for all of us. We bring our bags out of the car and just head straight up. Me and Alex share, Cas and Dean, Sam and Gabe much to Sam's disapproval, Michael and Lucifer, and we're getting two cots for Anna and Balthazar. I peel off my gear and lay it all down in the drawer of our dresser. We each get one drawer for shit. I leave my boots and jacket there to and fall into the bed wearing my jeans and tee. As soon as my head hits the pillow I'm mercifully out like a light.