Breaking Bad

Past Action's

I was so tired this morning. I can't get no sleep. I guess tryna keep two people happy is a full time job. I couldn't wait to get to first period. I can't tell you how much I hate mellissa. When I walk in of course she talking running her mouth.
"Jessica. Can I talk to you for a second?" Mellissa says waving me over.
Girl what?! I say exhaustedly
"Don't be rude." She says snapping back.
I can do what I please. Now you called me over here what do you want?
"I'm just letting you know Izayah and I are going back together." She says putting her hands together in her lap.
Goodbye. I say walking away.
"So close your legs."
Honey close yours. Your wasting my time.
"He don't even want you."
Thats not what he said at my door last night.

I just walk out I cant take this girl no more. She do to much and run her mouth.

"Mm." Izayah comes and picks me up.
Izayah. Stop put me down.
"Why you walking all mean for?"
Go ask yo baby mama.
"Come over tonight." He says wrapping his arm around me.
I'll think about it. I say pushing his arm off.
"Don't think. Do."
Bye. Why you never in class?
"Cause I'm a savage."
No your not. You might be a dummy going to fail his classes.
"Nah but I'll see you later."
What he leaves without me telling him too.
"I got things to do."
Mhm.
"Come here." He says pulling me closer to his face.
Why you always do this? I ask smiling but trying to hide it.
"Cause I like you and You bad and I can't resist." He says looking into my eyes.
I can't resist. I say bitting my lips.
"I know."
Okay just kiss me already.
"Izayah!" Mell says rushing over.
"Mell.." Izayah says confusingly.
"Im a beat yo ass." She says angry pointing her finger at me.
Okay and I'm leaving. I say awkwardly walking away.
"No you not. Jess.." he says pulling my hand back.
Bye enjoy your family. I say snatching away.

I check myself out of school and go straight home and go to sleep. It felt so good to finally crash with no interruptions. Everybody gone. I powered my phone off and just crashed.

Dreaming:

Leon.
"Weres June." Leon asks.
"She was hit by a car." Dee says out of breath.
"And you just left her?!"
Leon.
"We had no choice."
"Choice!?"
Leon! I scream.
"Jessica!"
I'm going to the police.
"If you go to the police we all will go to jail for robbery." Leon says angry.
"Babe you can't go to the police." Dee says holding my shoulders.
Derrion! My sister died in my arms and you want me to not go to the police. The camera is gonna run our faces.
"Stop talking!" Leon shouts.
"Where are we going to stash the money?"
I can't do this. I say panicking.
*knocks on the door continue.
"Will somebody get the door." Leon says pointing out the kitchen.
I will.
"Hey." Buddy says happily.
Buddy its not a good time. I say slightly closing the door back.
"I just wanted see if wanted to hang with trey and me."
I cant.
"Awe weres june.?" He says trying to peek in.
I don't know she uh, umm left this morning and haven't seen her since. I say stepping in front of his view.
"Well tell her cuddy wanted her to call him."
Okay. Bye.
"Buddy." Dontaé says opening the door.
"Wasup dontaé."
What you doing here?" Dontaé asks waiting for an answer.
"Nothing. Just wanted to see if Jess wanted to hangout with shreita and trey."
"Awe she can't she busy." Dontaé says smiling putting his arm around my shoulder squeezing it tight.
"Yeah she told me that."
"Come on baby." Derrion says pulling me away from the door.
"I was finna leave so I'll catch up with y'all later." Buddy says going backwards down the stairs.
"Alright cool." Dontaé says closing the door.
"What did you tell him?!" Dee asks pointing at me.
Nothing I swear. I say scared if he'll hit me.
"What did he want!?" Dee ask slamming things around.
He told me about cuddy wanting June to text him.
"Look I have a plan." Leon says.
What.
"I'm going to take the money and stash it for a while."
"No man." Dontaé says shaking his head.
"Shut up. You really wanna go to jail."
Leon. I say sobbing.
"Jessica just stop your sisters dead and nobody there to be accounted for."
I think the man that was there. He saw our faces. He saw everything.
"Look we got to go into hiding until then nobody say nothing. Got to wait till this blows over."
Leon.. I say bawling.
"Jessica stop fucking crying!" Leon says smashing his hands on the table yelling.
I hate all of you. Leave me alone. I had nothing to do with this.
"Jess." Dee reaching out for me.
"Just let her go." Dontaé says pulling Dee arm back down.

Why do I keep having this dream. Its freaking me out.
I get up and wash my face and started thinking. All I know is that end up at Bo's.

Hey.
"Wasup."
I kinda need someone to talk to.
"Alright you know you always welcomed." Bo says pointing his arm to the living room.
Well that's good to know.
"Lol yeah. So what's going on? Buddy not treating you right?" He says chuckling.
No were fine. Um its about your brother actually.
"You know I don't talk about that."
I know, I know. I don't talk about my sister but I kinda need to talk to him.
"Jessica just tell me what's going on."
I keep having the got damn dream! I.. I don't know why! It just keep playing and playing. I feel like I'm gonna lose it. I say panicking.
"Okay calm down." He says putting my hands down.
My sister is gone and never going to come back.
"My brother is in jail because of you, how do you think I feel."
Please least he's not dead. Dead in the middle of the street while your getting dragged in a car. Watching him bleed and suffer in pain and you can't do anything. She's gone I can't get her back.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry my brother did this to you but I'm not him so."
I know that. Dummy. I say whipping my tears.
"I'm a dummy now."
Yes been one. Lol.
"Lol look. Its cool. Maybe you just need to go to sleep."
I can't sleep I haven't slept in two days I've been busy. And that god damn dream!
"Alright I get the dream but Doing what? Cause you ain't seeing me no more and I'm sure Buddy keep you trapped In the house."
Lol stop. I've been busy.
"Awe I see. You think I'm stupid."
Lol yeah I do.
"Ha you got jokes. What's his name.?"
Izayah.
"Mm. Izayah." He says trying to figure him out.
What?! I say looking at him deeply and pushing him.
"Girl don't hit me. He go to Hampsheir?"
No, um I got exspelled for fighting Khalil so i go to ukno now and thats his school.
"Ukno. I was wondering why I haven't seen you."
Yeah.
"Bad ass what I tell you?"
Not to pay them any attention.
"You need to listen to your elders."
Boy! You only 2 years older than me so bye.
"So next time listen."
I miss you.. I miss talking to you... I miss everything. I could talk to you when ever i wanted and whatever. You was like a brother even though that sound dumb ass hell but it make sense in this situation.
"Lh I see. I miss you too. You was my little rider."
I'm sorry I let buddy get between us.
"No need to apologize. He just didn't want us to fuck around no more. Plus he still mad about the past."
Yeah I know.
"Stay with me tonight."
You know I can't.
"Why not?"
Cause I can't I got school tomorrow anyway.
"I'll take you."
No its fine. I'll be fine. I'm old enough.
"You still need to talk to Leon?"
Nahh. You relaxed me. Maybe I can finally crash.
"Alright. I was happy you stopped by. Thought you wasn't gone talk to me again after the hallway."
I wasn't but I just. I don't know my head is in so many places. Maybe me and Buddy were better off being friends we got along way better.
"What you tryna say."
I don't know. I just really don't won't to be with him anyone right now. Oh and look at this promise ring.
"Its nice." He makes a weird bad face.
Lh. Don't make that face. I did exactly the same thing. I don't know I love Buddy but we got two different world's.
"Then break up. Simple."
Ugh I don't... I don't know I'm going crazy!
"No you not. Hey just don't cut me off again."
I won't.
"Bye jess."
Bye Bo.

When I got home I went to Sherita room just to see what she was talking bout. And her bed is softer. Woo. I finally got the sleep I needed. I heard Sherita walk in but I was to sleepy to wake up. She just moved me over and went to sleep to. I didn't even wake up until the next day. I looked at the clock and I was late to school. No rush so I took my time. On my way. I thought of some ways I could talk to buddy. I just feel right now I need some thinking space and he not giving me that. I need to find the nicest way to tell him that I just need a break. He gone be pissed but its about me right now. Don't get me wrong I love buddy. He been down for me and stuck by my side. He a good person but I just need a friend or a fuck buddy cause we surely havent. You know. Just sad. I mean I have been getting it from Izayah though. He so fine.