Bound By Purpose

A Date Which Will Live In Infamy

December 7th, 1941

I've been crying for hours and I don't want to stop. 

The news broke earlier this afternoon while I was out for a late lunch with Steve and Bucky. We had gone out after the 11:00 AM service for an afternoon of shopping and time together but everything changed... We were at our favorite diner when the regular scheduled programming on the radio went to static. The news echoed through the diner that had gone silent. When I heard that Pearl had been bombed I almost collapsed on myself. I was able to hold myself together until the announcer mentioned that the Arizona was all but gone under the ocean, that's when I realized there was no hope. I pushed my chair back from the table with a loud scraping noise from my chair. I looked at Steve and Bucky saying, "My dad is stationed there..." They both knew that already, but I wasn't finding any other words. They both stood up with shocked looks on their faces ready to come to my side, but then I remembered that my mother was at home probably hearing this alone. 

"My mother... I need to get home." Bucky reached out for my hand. 

"You don't know that he's gone yet. Keep listening to the radio." I slowly backed away from the both of them. I love them to death but they just don't understand this, well Steve maybe would. The only thought running through my mind was that I needed to get home to my mother. The frustration and nervousness bubbled  up in the pit of my stomach knowing that I needed to leave. I ran out the door and onto the street without another word to the boys.

I made it home and found my mother sitting in shock in the kitchen next to our blaring radio. No words were needed to be said. I ran into her arms and she held me while I was crying for at least 30 minutes. Neighbors and friends began to show up then so I found a time to sneak up to my room, where I now lay all cried out sprawled out across my windowsill seat looking out over the barren trees. We should be hearing from the officials in Hawaii soon, whether it would be good news or tragic news I can't be certain. 

I pull my knees up to my chest praying to God that he's alive and well. Mother and I couldn't ever lose him, it would break us. I hear my door creak open. In my peripheral vision I see Bucky enter, but I knew it was going to be him before he even opened the door. "Where's Steve?" I ask as Buck takes a seat.

"Reassuring your mother."

"Oh so that's why you came by, to give us false hope." I can see him shrink back from my harsh tone.

"Evelyn I wish I could, but that's how your mother will deal with this until the news breaks." He grabs my limp hand laying on the cushion. "You...You like to know the plan. I'm here to tell you that either way the news breaks you are going to be okay."

"How can you say that James?" He seems to be taken aback by me using his real name but he continues.

"Because I'm here." He says taking my pale and shaking hand. "You took care of Steve and I since I can remember when it's our turn to help you we'll deliver."

"He was going to make my life mean something." I say finally blurting out what's on my mind

"To hell with college. There are other ways to get where you want to go in life, trust me Evelyn. You're too damn determined not to get what you want out of life. Everything is going to be fi...." a loud cry comes from outside which alerts our eyes from our small space. They must have gotten the news. I stand up gripping Bucky's hand out of all fear I feel. We walk down the stairs and into a quiet living room, some people are crying and the others are holding on to loved ones, my mother is hugging someone, but as soon as she turns I see her face.

No tears, but a peacefulness rests on her. I almost yell out in happiness but realize that the other people here may not have gotten the same news. She sweeps me out into the hallway away from the other women in the living room. I hadn't realized we knew so many families who had husbands, fathers, and brothers stationed in Hawaii, but I suppose it's not impossible. "He's alive?" I ask pleadingly. 

"Yes." Is all she says before she engulfs me in a hug. 

When she releases me I keep my voice down asking about the others. "How many of them lost someone?" Mothers eyes darken a bit.

"Three. A few haven't heard anything yet. Mrs. Conway and I were the only ones so far to receive good news."

Later that day:

Only three of the seven families represented in my living room got good news. The rest left sobbing to one another. Four families in our living room alone lost members. They will never see them again. I've sat and listened to the radio the whole day wanting every detail that I could get about the attack. Surely this will send us spiraling into the war. The clock over the mantel rings as the radio programming for the day ends. I look to the couch to see Steve sleeping. Bucky left an hour ago needing to get back to his family. He persuaded Steve to stay here tonight since he'd otherwise be alone. I lay the blanket I was using on top of him and slowly make my way across the dark entryway and up the stairs.

I find my own door handle after searching in the pitch black and enter. I don't bother to turn on my lights, instead throwing myself across the room and onto my bed. The threat of America's enemies throbs dully in the back of my head. The world is about to go to hell. We're in it now. Tomorrow the whole world will be at war and life will change for all of us.

My mind wanders to Hawaii. I send up a quick prayer for all the men, dead and alive, as well as all the families that were changed today. I also think of my father, and how this will affect his job. I may be employed with him and the SSR in a matter of hours as well depending on what happens and what lie we can cook up to tell mom. Then my thoughts move to my two boys. I think of Steve and Bucky both away at war fighting not just for America, but for the whole of Europe as well. My home hasn't fared well at all. Surely my old friends and family members will be comforted knowing America is coming to their aid.

I drift off to a fitful sleep filled with bombs and bullets. I better get used to it, there won't be any safe nights after this one.