Bound By Purpose

Bruised not Broken

Well today was definitely an interesting day. We all flew into London this morning and all day long Steve got experience the S.S.R first hand, which I think he's enjoying because he's been very proud. He received a new shield and new gear for his new group of soldiers... I turn my head to peak around the an entryway. Yep, he's trying to persuade them into going back out with him. I shake my head and turn back to the bar. Very quickly I feel hands on my shoulders I grin as the person sits down beside me. "Helping Steve rally the troops?" I ask as the bartender sets two beers in front of us. 

"They're all idiots." As he finishes his statement Steve enters the room and has a seat next to Bucky.

"What about you? Are you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?"

"Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run from a fight... I'm following him." I look at both of them and I see my two favorite boys in the whole world. I see us sitting at our favorite restaurant back home laughing about nothing and talking about nothing worth while. 

I break the fantasy as I notice a soldier sitting by himself in the corner. I look down ashamed at myself. I can't revel in the past. "The outfit though? You're keeping it right?"

Steve smirks at me and then glances at a tour poster "I don't know... it's kinda growing on me." Just as Steve stops talking so does the talking and singing from the other room. I lean back quickly and see that all eyes are on Peggy. She's stunning as usual. Tonight she's wearing a red dress that absolutely makes her the prettiest here tonight. I sit back up into my normal position. I look over at Bucky expecting him to have his eyes on Peg but instead he's looking straight at me.

"What?" He doesn't say anything instead taking my hand and leading me away towards the nearest exit. I gently pull away as he opens the door. "Bucky what is it?" I say taken aback by the sudden move.

"I thought Steve should be able to talk to his lady without us distracting him. I look back at Steve who is completely occupied with Peggy. Their eyes are locked on each other the way I believe Bucky and I look at each other. I slowly turn back to him and nod. He gently takes my hand again and leads me outside. It's chilly but I have a coat this time round. My instinct is to look up at the sky but tonight for whatever reason the Germans have decided to let us live. My hand is entwined with his as we slowly walk across the long wooden patio of the bar.

The only sound is of our breathing and the dulled gathering inside. It's seems as good as time as any to talk. I side step in front of Bucky. "We should talk about what happened." Bucky must've known it was coming because he let's go and looks up at  the overhang. 

To my surprise he actually does agree with me. "You're right... But not tonight." I'm disappointing and relieved at the same time. "It's been such a good day. Why mess it up?"

"No you're right." I clasp my hands in front of me and look down at the ground. Before I can make another move Bucky's arms are around me. I wiggle my hands up to his face and study his eyes in the dim light. The spark isn't there but I don't know why I thought it would be there. I stand on my tip toes and wrap my arms around his neck. One arm cradles my back and the other hand goes to my neck. Once again he's strong again, but I still am worried. He wanted to talk. "I just don't want things left unsaid." At this he slowly releases me until his hands are on my shoulders.

"Are you implying about the mission?" I keep my lips tight together letting him read my look. "That I won't come back?"

"I worry."

"No need. I'll have Steve and a small group of men. All of us are going to come back."

"Okay." I turn to leave. He doesn't reach out for me

"Why are you mad?"

I turn back to him, glad the conversation hasn't ended. "I'm not mad. I'm just nervous. We're treading new ground here. I need to know what happened. I need to apologize for breaking my promise and coming here. I need to apologize properly." The fear of everything comes crashing down. The fear of the war and the fear that Bucky is still angry at me for following him into battle.

"Eve. I am not angry with you about any of this... alright? We're back together safe for now. Let's not waste it." I give him a slight nod not buying that he's completely okay with me being here. He puts his arm around me and I instantly melt into him. We go back inside where light greets us. He spots a friend and lets me follow behind him as he takes a drink from the soldiers hand. I have an uneasy feeling about him at the moment. I shouldn't but I do. I don't follow him over to the soldier because he looks like he's having a lot of fun. I cross my arms over my chest and watch him laugh with his buddies.

Maybe he's right, but I can't shake the feeling that the longer we wait to talk about what's happened to us so the harder it will be to open up about it. Bucky still hasn't noticed that I'm not beside him. I'll let him have his fun tonight, he deserves to talk with his friends. I slowly back up making sure he doesn't notice. Turning I run right into Steve who stops me from falling back. "Are you leaving?" He has a smile across his face and a drink in hand.

"Um yeah." I look over my shoulder. Bucky is now surrounded by more men. "I figured he should have some fun." I look back not making eye contact with Steve. His smile vanishes and he sets down his mug that isn't finished yet on the nearest table. 

He waits until I make eye contact then says, "Eve what's wrong? Did you guys have a fight?"

I swallow and shake my head without a word. 

He gives me a strange look but continues. "Well then let me walk you back to base."

"It's two blocks Steve... You're having such a good time... I couldn't ask you to leave."

"No it's alright. I barely know anyone and we've got debriefing early tomorrow so I don't mind."

Still not sure I slip my arm into the crook of Steve's elbow. We exit the bar and head down the steps. Steve doesn't ask any questions, doesn't pry at opening me up about tonight. Instead he just leads the way down the street towards base. It's silent the whole way back. We enter the main building and walk all the way to Peggy and I's room. He leaves me off. With just a little wave he turns to leave. "Wait Steve." I say catching him by the hand. Slowly I wrap my arms around him and give him a hug. "Thank you." I whisper. Blinking back tears I pull back from him. I quickly wipe my eyes dry, but I'm sure he saw them anyway. "I'm worried about him. He's just been a little different towards me. He swears he's not mad at me but I don't know."

I'm not sure Steve knows what to say because he just looks at me. "I'll... talk to him." He says not sure. "It'll be alright." Stepping into the doorway I nod and duck inside. I let out a breath and lean against the closed door with my eyes shut to regain my thoughts. I've never been this confused by him in the past. He's never been closed off towards me. It's probably nothing and he deserves to get his time with his buddies... It shouldn't have been Steve to go out of his way to walk me home either. I miss being around Steve, little Steve. He's still the same dork as before but now the girls are all over him so I have to share him. Why didn't I just get some girlfriends when I was younger and go into nursing. I take another deep breath and know that I wouldn't want my life any other way. I open my eyes to Peggy sitting on her bed reading. She doesn't look round just says hello. I forget to reply as my mind is entirely on someone else.