Bound By Purpose

Sorrow In The Face Of The Greatest Victory

I'm wrapped up in Bucky's arms as we ride along the newly crowded streets of New York. I glance across the back seat of the car out the window where hundreds have been displaced. My eyes dart to the front seat where our driver focuses on the road ahead. She had been assigned to us by the government. They arrived maybe 20 minutes after we'd won. We were all paying our respects, knelt together in silence around Tony. I'd held Peter's hand while Bucky sat beside me. They'd arrived with their helicopters and cars, but when they came out onto the field they didn't hassle us, didn't force us to explain. At the sight of Tony they too lowered their weapons.

Steve carried Tony's body off the field with Pepper by his side, still holding his hand. When they walked by us and I saw Tony's limp body hanging across Steve's arms I found that a sense of peace had washed over me. I was and still am devastated beyond all belief but tomorrow I will get closure at his memorial, I will see his legacy live through his daughter and a young Peter Parker.

Our dark government-issued car comes to a stop at the base of apartment building. I pull myself away from Bucky and he opens the door. It's silent until Bucky has exited. "I wanted to thank you." I turn away from Bucky and to our driver. She had not said a word the entire drive. She doesn't turn around nor does she take her hands from the steering wheel. "I joined the agency when my father disappeared... Your sacrifice... It's ummm..." I can tell she's getting extremely emotional. I lean forward just a bit and rest my hand on her shoulder. 

"Go home to him." I say lightly. I feel the tension go out of her body and then I slide back across the backseat. I have my own people to see again. 

Bucky looks up at the building. I watch from behind as he stands unmoving. I'm taken back to the day I gave birth, the nerves and the sadness I had held onto way too tight. There were hard days that followed that one, but when I held them both in my arms all that hurt subsided. I step up to Bucky's side and intertwine my fingers with his. I have no idea how this will go, but for the first time in a very long time we will face it together.

Ascending the stairs together we aide each other in climbing the endless flights. We're both feeling the bumps and gashes from the fight, our energy levels are low from the long night, but soon we'll be able to collapse on our couch  in our home together. When we reach our door I go to knock but Bucky catches my hand. "How do I do this?" He asks, completely avoiding my eyes. 

I wish I could tell him, but we both know this is uncharted territory. I lightly touch his chin and slowly direct him towards me, "They know you James." 

"Which me?" I rub my thumb back and forth for a moment. He hadn't seen me raising them. I'd told them stories and shown them all the pictures. I turn to the door and knock, it's easier to show him rather than explain. I hear a bit of shuffling and then Margaret's muffled laughter. I hear Bucky let out a breath and then the door opens. Happy answers and immediately pulls me into his arms. It's a hug that says it all. The sadness of missing a best friend, the need to stay strong for the young ones. When he pulls away I can see the hint of moisture in his eye, but he steps out of my way to reveal my kids. They both run forward and I drop to my knees to see their beautiful faces. I run my hands through their hair and beam at them. Their attention towards me is limited whoever because Thomas gazes up and sees the man he'd seen only in pictures. Margaret follows her brother's lead and she too looks up at her father. I watch her reach out her hand to him. She doesn't say a word merely looks at him inviting him into our hug. 

I wait for James' reaction. He doesn't look at me, his eyes are focused on his little girl. That strong gaze is enough to intimidate any grown human being, but Margaret is unfazed. She takes two steps towards him and takes his hand. She gently tugs on him. Bucky finally comes to life, allowing her to bring him to us. He slowly kneels down beside me. Thomas is still hanging from my neck. "Daddy... Do you not know how to hug?" She asks innocently. It's enough to make me crack a smile. It brings Bucky to life as well.