Bound By Purpose

Goodbye

The bed shifts as Bucky gets up. I immediately wake up, not wanting too, but wanting every single second with him. He must have moved me in here last night after I fell asleep. He sits back down and pulls on his socks and his boots. Lastly he pulls on his uniform shirt and jacket, buttoning it up. I lay there staring at him. Studying him. Why does he have to go? Tears silently run down my cheeks as I watch him pull his hat out of its place and puts it on his head. He finally turns to me and when he sees my face his breaks. He jumps back to his place and pulls me into his lap stroking my hair. Millions of girls have had to watch their men go away to war and thousands more will do the same as the war rages on, but for me it's different. He's the only man I've ever loved and the first, beside's my father, to believe that I was worth more then being a housewife.

He cradles me in his arms that are tightly wrapped around me for a few breathless moments before he gets back up to pack the rest of his stuff. When he leaves the room I slip back into my uniform jacket. My hair is a mess, but with a quick brush through with my fingers and a few bobby-pins I make it look passable. I meet Buck in the kitchen for breakfast. We eat with our shoulders touching, but don't say a word. Our whole morning has been silent. We often have days like this where we know each other so well we can go about our business without even alerting the other with words. Today shouldn't be one of those days.

I look over at him as I take my last bite. He's already stolen a glance at me. I fully commit to turning to him. His actions take me by surprise. He scoops me out of my chair one arm under my knees and the other cradling my back and just holds me there. We stare into each others eyes and before I know it my lips are against his and my feet are back on the ground. He keeps pulling me closer until there's nowhere left for me to go. I can feel his protective arms wrapped around my back as my smaller ones wrap around his neck.

I can feel the salt of my tears seeping through again so I pull away not wanting him to notice, but he already has. He laughs as he asks, "You've never cried this much. Why now so sudden?"

I know why. "Because... I love you." Now that I've said it I know it's the cause of the tears. Before he can answer I continue. "Because having to spend one day without you scares the living hell out of me."

"Evelyn." I realize he's trying to pry me away from his shoulder so I let him. "You mean more to me than anything else in the whole world. There is no Nazi on this Earth that can stop me from coming back to you." He gives me a half hearted smile with his boyish charm. I only buy it for a second.

"You don't know that." It slips out. "They all say the same thing. That they'll come back, but sometimes they don't. How can I know that this isn't the last time I'll have the opportunity to hug you, or kiss you or even say I love you..." I frantically step back willing to completely run from it all.

Sensing my oncoming panic he plants both hands on me, calming me instantly. "Because..." he says pulling something from his pocket. "I have a promise to keep... I mean if you say yes." My mind can't comprehend what's going on until he's down on one knee asking me to marry him. "If you say yes it's our promise. I'll come back to you and you'll come back to me. I was going to do this last night, but I could never find the right time." The shock hits me hard, my mouth drops open and my mind spins a million miles a minute. 

I nod my head quickly as the answer comes out in a stampede of sobs. "Y.. Ye..Yes." He takes my hand and puts on the ring. It's absolutely perfect. Not wasting any time my mouth is on his again and he's lifted me up into a twirl. 

---NEW YORK DOCKS---

I feel like I am walking on air as we move down the sidewalks towards the docks. My right hand is in Bucky's and my left is flashing my new hardware. When we reach the docks Bucky's family is here as is my mother and of course Steve as well. I break off from him as his family surrounds him. As he tries to explain to his little sister one last time why he has to leave I turn my head towards my mom. She is staring at my hand and Steve is smiling.

"I don't want to make it a big deal." I whisper to my mom. "This is a rough time for James' family." My mother nods but Steve begins to smirk. That little... He definitely knew about this. He told me he'd always tell me everything when it came to Bucky and I holding secrets.

"It's Bucky's great grandmother's ring." Steve says stepping forward and taking my hand. I look down at it again and find it to be even more wonderful than before. Steve kisses my hand and I smile.

I get a tap on the shoulder, "Can I steal her for a moment?" I turn around right into Bucky. He dips me down, his arms cradling me close. I hear hoots and whistles around us as he kisses me, but I don't care. When he finally lifts me back up to my feet, I give him one last kiss on the cheek, and let him go take a walk with Steve. I feel a tug on my hand and look down to Bucky's sister. She's studying my ring. I'm nervous that she may not approve, but she calls over her family to see. Mrs. Barnes smiles through her tears, and Mr. Barnes just nods his head. 

I rest my hand on Mrs. Barnes as she studies it. "It was my grandmother's ring. She passed a few years back." She smiles brightly seeming to approve.

"This was his promise to me to come back. He will. He'll come back to all of us." I say keeping my hope bright for my new family.

When Bucky returns with a red-eyed Steve we all say our last goodbyes. He bends low and gives me one last kiss. "I love you." He says. He seems rather awkward suddenly. 

"I love you too." I say reassuringly. He nods once more and then turns into the crowd. I take a sharp breath something about that goodbye wasn't right. "Bucky!" I call into the crowd. I run forward into the large collection of spectators and soldiers. "Bucky!" I call again standing on my toes in order to see him. He's at the base of the gang plank. "Bucky!" I yell once more. His ear perk up and then he's turned back towards me. I raise my hand up in the air so he can see me.

I'm unsure of what to do now. I stop in front of him and we just stare across at each other. As if in complete sync we both close the gap and meet with a kiss. He lifts me up and I kick my feet out behind me, holding tightly to him he rocks me back forth. When he puts me back down he can't bring himself to make eye contact. I turn his head, both hands on his cheeks. I plant one last quick kiss on his lips. I give him a curt nod and then step back as the last of the soldiers start to board. We hold our stare for a few moments longer before he's whisked away. 

I fight against the wave and return to my little party. I grip Steve's hand tight and grip Rebecca's little one. Slowly the giant ship starts to pull away. I can't see Bucky, but I'm sure he can still see me, trying to watch over me seconds longer. As I watch the ship start to sail beyond the horizon I know that I need to find a way over there.