Bound By Purpose

Pray It Won't Fade Away

July 10th, 1936

Today has easily been the best day of my life. I spent the whole day with two boys fawning over me. Don't get me wrong I'm not the kind of girl that could possibly love all the attention, but I was happy to spend the day with my two best friends. I couldn't ask for two better guys to know, to grow up with, and to depend on. Even now as we walk up the steps to Steve's flat I'm still grinning from our day of running around this big city and dreaming about what's next for us after all, we're all getting older. I've tried all day to ignore the fact that Bucky has feelings for me. He hasn't made any advances yet an the last thing I want to do is jeopardize our friendship before he's ready to move on in our relationship. 

We finally reach Steve's door and he starts to go inside, but not before he gives me a big hug, and tells me that he had a good time. As the door shuts on his small room, I turn to the darkness of the city and suddenly feel vulnerable. I shiver at the sight of the vast glow. I step up to the railing and look out. Tonight is unusually cold for July. I'm just looking out at the city when I feel something drape across my shoulders. Of course it's Bucky and his suit jacket. I look over at him with a gracious smile.

"You looked cold." He says leaning into my shoulder.

"I was." I say as I wrap it tighter around my shoulders. I can no longer ignore my feelings towards him, not when it's just him and I alone now. We stand in silence for a moment, and then I feel exhaustion hit me. A whole 12 hours of running around the city along with the heat of the summer finally catches up to me. I let my head slip to the side and lay it on Bucky's shoulder. I don't mean this as a move at all, in fact I've done this a million times in the past, after school days or during long walks. He then lays his head on mine and puts an arm around my shoulder. I close my eyes and smile. Everything is perfect. I let out a small laugh and then I feel Bucky's shoulders bounce as he laughs out loud. 

"What?" I say lifting my head, looking over at him.

"What?" He answers back. I Give him a light shove on the shoulder and he laughs again.

"Steve told me everything." I sneak taking a step back teasingly.

"I know. He told me that he did this morning because I was so nervous." He laughs again, letting the nerves between us dissipate. "I mean look how impatient you are about all this, maybe I shouldn't take you out." He shrugs his shoulders carelessly and starts to walk past me teasing me, but I grab his wrist and spin him around.

Our eyes meet and it's as if I'm looking at them for the first time. There's a spark I've never noticed. He takes a step to me, stopping inches away. His right hand caresses my cheek and then rests behind my ear. We're still for one more moment before he finally moves to kiss me. I stand on my toes in order to reach him. I fear I might lose my balance but his other hand has found my back which steadies me. I've never kissed anyone before, but he's gentle with me. When we pull away he just holds me against him, cradling my head against his chest. The whole world fizzles away as we sway together gently.

After a time he speaks up, "Should I walk you home?" We've spent the last few minutes embracing and just holding each other. It all feels so natural, a progressive step in our relationship that just feels right.

I look up at him and nod. I don't want to leave this spot but I know my mother will start to get anxious if I don't return within the hour. I turn away but he doesn't let me go. I stop and look back at him. He grins and looks down at his shoes perhaps embarrassed to be caught holding me back. When he looks up he's quick to come to my side. As we make our way down the stairs together, hand in hand, something clicks within me. No matter what I go through or where I go in life, I will always have him. That's something I'm more certain of now than ever before.