Bound By Purpose

Making Amends

Rolling over I reach out my arm across the bedding. It's empty. I open my eyes and see that Bucky's sitting at the edge of the bed. Looking beyond him I see a faint light coming from the crease in our huts door signaling the coming morning. I push myself to sit and crawl on my knees to his side. I rest my chin on his shoulder and look down a his hand. It's holding our story in the journal I'd written for him in his lap.

It had been a few months since we'd deemed it time to reawaken him. he had come out a gentler man, a peacefully quieter man.  We'd spent days reading my words and countless sleepless nights working things out between each other. Things were alright now. He still had questions, but we are able to coexist with each other. Our old 16 year old selves would peek through now and again and we'd smile remembering good times. There were times of tears as well. He read my accounts of 1963 and he nearly broke down on himself. That was the first night he let me hold him again. Since then it has been a time for healing and familiarizing ourselves with the others body once again. I kiss him lightly on the back of his neck before moving to sit beside him. 

"What are you looking at?" I ask as he puts an arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Where'd you get this picture?" I take it from his hands and angle it so the light dances across it. It was of his sister, one of dozens I'd stocked in the pages.

"Steve sent it from New York months ago." I didn't get much from him and his Secret Avengers crew, but when I did it was little momentos like these. He nods slowly, clearly saddened. "We could go visit her you know... She's still alive... A home in New York City."

"She never left home?" He runs a finger along the edge of the photo. I shake my head. They had been so close, when they were young everything he did, he did for her. He gently places it back in the pages and sets the journal beside him. He turns to me, kisses my forehead, and continues to hold me close to him. The peaceful moment is filled with our breathing and the awakening village outside.

Our moment is fleeting however, as nearly a dozen kids push open our door whooping and hollering after "the white wolf." They pull on his arm and tackle him to the floor. Bucky's face lights up as he humors them making them believe they've won. One of the youngest girls runs to me and reaches up. I scoop her up as the Bucky and the kids find their way outside. I duck under the flap of our hut into the morning sun. A dozen children climb Bucky as if he were a jungle gym. I can't help but laugh, he sees this and his smile continues to widen. As they make their way down to the lake that's at the doorstep of our village I turn to do some chores. I pull a sheet off the line and set it on the ground and let Meeri sit upon it. 

My eyes wander back to Bucky and the little ones running around him in the shallow water. Something we could have had. I let my hands rest on my stomach wishing that it had been possible... I suppose it could still be. 

"Princess Shuri!" The squeaky voice of the young one on the sheet cries out. Turning, sure enough Shuri is making her way towards me. She'd visited us many times throughout the weeks wanting to visit and know how we were. I suppose it's another checkup. Making sure the kids are still occupied with the Wolf I pick up Meeri and meet Shuri. She gladly takes the girl from my hands when Meeri reaches out. She puts the child on her hip. I see her looking out at Bucky shaking her head.

"I wish they'd let him rest."

"It's good for him." I say referring to the smiles he'd displayed all morning. "Any news from Steve?" I ask turning back to line to get the remaining clothes.

"Tony Stark actually." I freeze, my hand locked on a pin. "He wants to amend things." I hadn't thought I'd ever be invited into his presence again. We'd betrayed each other. I look over my shoulder. James had now taken to helping the kids swim about.

"How'd he get word to you?"

"Everett... He's overseeing things in New York for a time."

"What does he want to discuss with me?"

"Officially? Wedding planning. Unofficially... that information was not shared with me." I nod my head. Looking back to Bucky in the water I contemplate everything. This could be the start of a discord between Steve and Tony, even if I were to be the middleman. Bucky looks up and catches my gaze. He reads me instantly, his smile cracking ever so slightly. He ascends out of the pool and I then have to break his gaze, I should make a decision quickly. 

Soaking wet as he approaches us I grab a towel from the basket and hand it to him. He immediately drys his face and then leans against the clothes line post. Shuri brings him up to speed quickly.

"It could be a trap... not just for you but everyone." He answers when Shuri has finished.

"I trust him." I say.

"Ross?" He asks unsatisfied.

"Tony." I say. This seems to shut him up but he seems a little hurt. I close my eyes for a moment not meaning to sound so annoyed. "This will be good for us... all of us. I'll go talk to him, get a conversation going... I'll even visit your sister." 

"You should let me come to." He says as if he were a wounded puppy. I look to Shuri for help, who comes to my aid immediately.

"I don't think that's a good idea Sergeant Barnes. Stark could go off if he finds you there. We're trying to mend fences with this trip not incite another war." I try reach for his hand but he pulls away and turns from me completely. It stings, it really does. 

Ashamed I turn to Shuri. "Debrief me."

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 The day had passed slowly. With each tick of the clock I worried more more about what I was going to say to Bucky when we were both back at home. I had been debriefed today and I had not seen James since he stormed away from our conversation. As much as I hated to leave him now, after we finally found solace in our relationship, I had other friendships and loyalties to honor. Pacing the floor a few minutes longer I finally decide to go out and look for him. I've just reached for the flap when he nearly collides with me from the other side.

I meet his gaze in the dying sunlight. "I think we..." He pulls me to him then bringing his mouth to mine, my following words gone in a second. He pushes me back a step so we're both fully inside. He wraps his arm around the small of my back and my hands find his hair. He finds the hem of my shirt and starts to tug on it. I help him in the matter and when it's off we fall back on our bed. 

We'd found time for this in previous weeks, but those moments were full of uncertainty and timidity. Tonight there is nothing but passion and a reignited fire that had been glowing at an ember for decades.

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We lay encased with each other. He cradles me close enough to him that I can feel the steady breath on the back of my head every few seconds. The pillowtalk had been minimal and for the most part it had been silence as we wait for sleep to consume us. 

I let my eyes fall shut as I'm sure he's fallen asleep. I can feel myself slipping further away when I hear James' voice. "Why do you trust Stark so much?" The question could be avoided, I could pretend I'm asleep. I find myself answering anyway.

"Because the day I met him..." That day in the cemetery, all alone in the world. "He was a scared boy who I felt like I needed to protect... I guess I still feel that now. I owe his father so much." I turn to face him now even though he can probably hardly see me. "His father saved me after the war. I was all ready to just give it all up, but he kept pushing me to do more... When I met Tony Stark for the first time, I saw Howard in him..." I could go on, tell him the occasion in which I met Tony, about how I wanted to protect him from his father's fate of unhappiness and death. I'd say i've done a pretty lousy job at it so far, but I can't bring myself to put Bucky through anymore emotional pain today. "I'll be back before you know it." I say. 

There's no reply as sleep has finally come for us.