In the Shadow of Diamond (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 17

Kabanata 17

Simula nang mapag-usapan namin ni Cronus ang tungkol sa pag-uwi ng Pilipinas ay hindi na iyon nawala sa isip ko. Naghalu-halo ang lahat ng emosyon sa akin. Excited ako dahil mukhang ito na ang pagkakataon na makita ko sina Mama at Sam. Kung hihilingin ko iyon kay Cronus, papayagan niya kaya ako?

I groaned. Bakit naman siya ang magdedesisyon kung gusto ko ngang makasama ang pamilya ko? Hindi ba dapat ako?

I looked up at the ceiling. My thoughts were loud and messy. Ilang buwan na ba akong narito? Miss ko na ang pamilya ko. Just thinking about them made my chest tighten, happy and sad at the same time.

Cronus always taken care of me. He gave me what I needed. But still, he made all the decisions. He decided where I went, what I did, and even what I could say sometimes.

Kaya iniisip ko kung hahayaan niya kaya akong umuwi sa amin kapag nasa Pilipinas na kami. Pakiramdam ko, tinanggalan niya ako ng karapatang maging ako.

Kagigising ko lamang mula sa mahabang pagkakatulog.

Today's the day.

We talked about it weeks ago. Cronus said we'd be flying to the Philippines. Of course, since everything with him was private and exclusive, private jet ang sasakyan pauwi. Going back home... finally. But under his terms again.

I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my suitcase in the corner of the room. It wasn't much, just the basics. He told me to pack light, as if this trip wasn't supposed to be about anything important.

Pero para sa akin, Hindi ito basta trip lang.

"Satin," Cronus voice.

Pumasok siya sa kuwarto at kinuha ang suitcase namin. Inilabas niya iyon at kinuha ni Manthon upang isakay sa sasakyan. Bumaling siya sa akin.

"You okay? Let's go." seryosong aniya.

Tumango ako at tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo. Sa hallway, halos wala akong naririnig kundi ang tunog ng hakbang ko sa sahig. Manthon was already outside, loading the last of the bags into the black SUV. Everything was moving so fast, yet it all felt like I was watching someone else live my life.

We drove in silence. Cronus sat beside me, typing something on his phone, occasionally glancing outside the tinted windows. Hindi ko alam kung iniisip niya ba ang Pilipinas, ang pag-uwi namin, o may iba na naman siyang plano.

It wasn't long before we arrived at the FBO, the private terminal. Malamig ang paligid. Nakaabang na ang jet. May lumapit agad na crew paglabas namin ng kotse.

Tahimik si Cronus at tumingin lang siya sa akin saglit, tapos hinawakan ako sa likod, guiding me papasok ng plane.

Pag-akyat ko, lumingon ako pabalik. Ito na. Uuwi na ako... pero parang hindi ko pa rin kasama ang sarili ko.

Cronus was seated across from me, flipping through documents, working. I turned my gaze to the window. Pinapanood ko kung paano kami umandar. Maliwanag ang langit, pero mabigat ang aking dibdib. Idinikit ko ang palad ko sa salamin.

Ang tagal ko ng hindi nakauwi. I glanced at him. He looked calm, para bang ordinaryong araw lang ito. But to me, this flight meant everything. I wrapped the blanket tighter around my legs. Mabilis ang flight kaya hindi ako nainip.

Clouds passed us. Somewhere down there was the Philippines... and somewhere in that land, my mother, my brother... my home or what used to be.

My chest tightened again. I should be happy, right? Pauwi na ko. But it didn't feel like that. I leaned my head against the window. Maybe I'd get to visit them. Maybe he'd let me.