In the Shadow of Diamond (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 32

Kabanata 32

Binilang ko ang mga panahon ng pananatili ko rito, sa kaniya. Oh, walong buwan na. Magwawalong buwan na rin kaming kasal. Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Sa dami ng mga nangyari sa loob ng walong buwan ay pakiramdam ko, kulang pa iyon para iproseso ang lahat.

Napaisip ako bigla. Kung hindi niya ako dinala rito at pinilit na pakasalan siya, ano na kayang buhay ko ngayon? Ganoon pa rin kaya trabaho ko? Posible.

Pero naisip ko rin. Paano kung nag-iba ang takbo ng kuwento naming dalawa? Paano kung may nangyari nga sa amin noong unang beses na pagkikita namin? Paano kung pagkatapos niyon, binalik balikan niya ako? Mas nakilala ko siya at mas nakilala niya ako ng walang dahas, walang pamumuwersa? Imposibleng hindi ako mahuhulog sa kaniya!

If we had met that way, I wouldn't have had a reason to fear him. I wouldn't have had that bitter first impression that clung to him like a shadow. But somehow, even with that shadow between us, light found a way to slip through.

I didn't expect this. I didn't want to feel anything for him. But little by little, the walls began to soften. The way he touches me now, like I'm precious, not a prize, something he wants to protect. I used to flinch. Now, I lean in.

I'm not just surviving anymore. I've begun to live again. And more than that... I'm starting to feel safe with him. Not because I have to. Not because I've forgotten what happened. But because he's working to rewrite the story he forced us into.

Cronus:
"I'll be coming home early. Do you want anything?"

Napangiti ako nang mabasa ang text niya. Agad akong nagtipa. Pagkatapos kong mag-reply ay ibinaba ko na ang phone at hinarap si Manang Hilda.

"Ako na po, Manang," sabi ko.

"Hindi na, Miss Satin. Hindi ka puwedeng mapagod, magagalit ang asawa mo," ngumisi si Manang Hilda.

Nag-init ang pisngi ko ngunit idinaan ko iyon sa pagtawa.

"Manang, okay lang po. Gusto ko pong kumilos naman, nanghihina na po ang katawan ko kakahiga at walang ginagawa rito."

Tumitig siya sa akin na nag-aalinlangan. "Pero, Miss Satin..."

"Okay lang po talaga, Manang. Kuwarto naman po namin 'to, ako na po ang bahalang maglinis," I smiled assuredly.

Nagkibit-balikat si Manang Hilda, pero kita ko pa rin ang pag-aalala sa mga mata niya habang inilalapag ang tray ng mga baso.

"O siya, bahala ka na, Miss Satin. Pero kapag kami ang napagalitan, naku..."

I chuckled. "Ako na po ang bahala, Manang,"

When Manang Hilda left the room, I just looked around. This is our room, mine and Cronus's. It used to feel like a cage, like a place I was locked in. But now... it felt lighter.

I started wiping the side table. My body wasn't used to moving again. For months, I did nothing but sit, eat, sleep. I was scared to do more than that. But now, I wanted to move.

Maaga siyang pumasok sa opisina gaya ng madalas. Hapon na nang mapag-isipan kong maglinis ng kuwarto namin. I fixed the pillows on the small couch, arranged the books on his desk. Pinalitan ko rin ang bed sheet at punda ng mga unan. Ganoon din ang ginawa ko sa red room.

On the dresser, I saw a photo of us from the wedding. My face looked stiff in the picture, scared. His, too serious. But now, I wondered... if we took that photo again today, would it look different? I laughed softly at the thought.

"Siguro nga," I whispered to myself.

I dusted off the last bit of the side table, my hand brushed against the edge of his desk. Nakaawang ang drawer doon. I pulled it open. Inside, I found a few scattered papers, pens. Napailing ako dahil medyo makalat sa parteng iyon kaya naisip kong ayusin lahat.