heather || spencer reid

xxiv -ready?-

**A/N : how do you like the new cover? <3

*Spencer's point of view*

I grabbed Heather by the waist and kissed her. She deepened the kiss and we made out for a while. I went over to a wall and pinned her against it, our lips didn't part.

That make out session left me pretty turned on and I was slowly moving my fingers to Heather's sides and began pulling up her pullover slowly.

But when my fingers accidentally brushed against one of Heather's scars she broke the kiss off and turned away from me.

"I'm sorry.", I said before she could.

"No, Spencer, I'm sorry. It's me. I-"

"It's okay, baby.", I said, understanding fully and feeling bad for rushing it.

I saw tears welling up in her eyes and a few ran down her rosy cheeks, I hugged her and stroked her hair to calm her down.

"Do you want to talk about it?", I gently asked and she nodded, arranging her glasses on top of her nose and flattening out her hair.

We went upstairs and changed into our pyjamas that we fished out of boxes in which all of our clothes were in.

Then we laid in bed and got into the spooning position.

"Are you sure that you're ready to tell me, baby?", I asked, wanting to make sure that she didn't rush anything. Heather nodded and started telling me then,

"He started raping me a few weeks after I just turned nine. My mother was sick and had to stay at the hospital a lot. My father turned to drinking as soon as she got her diagnose and he always had his friends around. The alcohol ruined him. He ignored me screaming for help and me crying in my room because all he cared for was his booze. I didn't want to tell my mother about it because I didn't want her worrying about me when it looked like she, well, she was in very bad shape and my father didn't fail to make that clear to me. He used to beat me and tell me that I was useless like my mother.", she was sobbing now and I drew patterns on her clothed back with my finger, trying to calm her a bit, showing her that I was there.

I tried to soothe her further, "it's okay now. It's over now baby. And it's okay if you aren't ready to talk about it yet."

"No. You need to know, I have to tell you because I know you're the only one who can really understand me and really listen to me, Spencer, and I need you to understand.", she turned around so that she would face me and out of habit I wiped her tears away and then planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Okay, so, my father beat me but he wasn't the only one, that monster did as well and my father didn't even notice, he examined the wounds and was proud of them because he thought they were his own. Scott told me he did it because he loved me.", Heather scoffed and rubbed at her eyes.

"When my mother died, the government office for youth welfare send someone over to our home because my teachers were concerned about me and they discovered that my father couldn't take good care of me. I lived with adoptive parents until I was old enough to move out. I then went to live in my mother's old house, which she didn't sell after my grandparents died and which she had bequeathed me.", Heather said, beginning to shake lightly.

"We can take a break, yeah? I don't want this being too much for you, baby. you know, you don't have to-", I tried but she cut me off, having calmed down again.

"And in which he had raped me again before taking me away. He 'punished' me for leaving him and cut me, kicked me, beat me, strangled me because he 'loved' me and to mark me as 'his'", she firmly pressed her eyes closed and shook her head, tears still streaming down her face. Her hands formed to fists and I took them into my hand and kissed them which resulted in her opening her eyes and putting her hands around my shoulders.

"He recorded everything and made me watch it over and over again. He even shared some pages of his old journals with me in which he vividly described how he did it when I was still a little girl, reminding me once again of everything I couldn't forget anyway. He destroyed me. And when I tried to flee, which wasn't easy at all since he had me tied to his bed,", she closed her eyes again and let them stay closed,"he weighted up the pros and contras of different ways to kill me. And after he got bored of trying to cut up my wrists and I was already dazed he decided to just drown me in front of his house."

I wasn't sure what I should say, Heather was such a lovely, wonderful person. She didn't deserve any of the things that happened to her in the past.

"He's still out there Spencer, and I'm scared, I'm so scared of somewhen encountering him again. He will find me. He did this time and he will next time.",
Heather said.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about the letters.. I'm just so sorry. I could've fought more, I could've- ..and the other day- ...the thing is- I'm so sorry Spencer. You deserve better. You'll probably regret your choice now. Wow- You must think- I have such a messed up girlfriend.. I'm so so so sorry.", she was back to sobbing now.

"Heather, I love you with all my heart and I regret nothing. You're the best thing that has happened to me. And you're the best girlfriend ever. I'm the happiest man in the whole universe because you're here by my side and i don't deserve you because you're too good for me. But please, just stop, stop apologising, baby, it wasn't your fault. Nothing that happened was your fault. You deserved nothing that they did to you. You deserve only the best."

So we laid there, Heather crying into my chest as I drew patterns onto her back with my fingers, trying to calm her. After Heather fell asleep in my arms, my eyelids began getting heavy, too and I drifted off as well.

**A/N: poor heather..