KATYS POV
"Cmon, John.. What is it?" I asked again watching his eyes travel back and forth across the sand as he thought of what to tell me. I reached across and grabbed his hand, holding it in mine, as I felt his grip get tighter around my hand.
"Katy..." He sighed finally looking up at me and I raised my eyebrows letting him know I was ready to listen. "I... don't think we can be together-"
I felt myself tense up preparing myself to be heartbroken once again. All that we've been through these past days were just going to vanish away and I would go back to being depressed.
"-if you don't forgive me." He finished and I let out a sigh of relief. I smiled as my body relaxed once again and I sat up on my knees to look straight into his eyes.
"john, of course I forgive you. I mean.. I'm still a little hurt by what you did but.. there's no denying that I never stopped loving you, and I need you." I whispered expecting his frown to turn into a smile but it didn't. There was no different emotion.
"I don't forgive myself though." He said sadly turning away from me. I saw a tear slide down his cheek as he did his best to hide it. It kills me to see him like this, which is actually rare for him. Sure, he's sensitive but he never likes to cry.
I sat there waiting for him to be ready to talk. I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to ruin anything either.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to get that look on your face out of my head when you found out." he confessed still holding back the tears. "I promised myself to protect you and to never hurt you like everyone else in your past.. but I ended up doing the exact same.. baby I'm so sorry.."
He was now in complete tears as I sat there blinking away the tears as well. I never knew he felt this way and I could tell it's been eating him alive for a very long time. He was truly sorry and it made my heart melt.
"It's okay..." I whispered leaning over to sit on his lap, my legs on both sides of his waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, letting my face linger close to his.
"I love you.. please, I forgive you... do the same for yourself." I whispered against his cheek. "I know you were sorry and though it's not totally an excuse.. you were drunk out of your mind." I finished, pulling away sniffling to look into his eyes. Who knew that when this all started we would be such a mess.
"I haven't even touched alcohol since that night." He confessed resting his hands on my hips. I titled my head in confusion wondering why he would have done that. "I lost the most important thing in my life to alcohol. I won't let that happen ever again."
"Well.. lucky for you, you got her back." I smiled trying to lighten the tension. Thankfully he showed me once of his cute little smiles, making me fall even more in love with him.
"I did." He agreed grabbing my cheek in his hand, admiring all my features. I bit my lip as he stared at me, thankful it was so dark out so he couldn't see me blushing. "I love you so much." He whispered attaching his lips onto mine. I completely wrapped my arms around his neck wanting to be as close to him as possible. Though not meant to be, this was one of the most intimate moments we've shared. We let out all of our thoughts and problems and shared our feelings, letting everything out in the open.
I felt him push down the shoulders of my jacket letting if fall down to around my waist. I slipped my arms out of the sleeves and unzipped it tossing it aside leaving me in my tank top and shorts. I pulled away from the kiss, giving John a look.
"Let's get in the water." I suggested making John look at me with wide eyes.
"It's freezing!" He whined making me roll my eyes at him. Instead of trying to convince him I just lifted my arms in the air waiting for him to get the hint. He returned the hint with a smirk and slowly placed his hands on my waist reaching his fingers under my shirt to grip it. he slowly slid the shirt over my toned stomach, making sure to touch as much skin as he could on the way up until it was finally over my head, allowing my hair to fall back down my back and shoulders.
"thank you Jesus" he whispered making me let out a big laugh, subconsciously crinkling my nose like I always did when I laughed apparently. "You're so beautiful when you laugh." He commented causing my laughter to slowly cease as I looked at him with admiration. He was the only one who talked to me like this, who was sweet all the time without even trying.
"I'm really not." I replied back tilting my head, and running my fingers through his hair. That only earned me a nice glare my way as he let out a sigh.
"Yes.. you are." He laughed raising his voice slightly as if to overpower me.
"No." I whispered coming closer to his face before kissing him, hoping to win this argument, though I never did.
"Yes." He whispered back, momentarily breaking away the kiss.
"Are we going to keep arguing or are you going to finish undressing me." I whispered against his lips, kissing him once more, but making it linger longer than the last ones.
He only laughed before reaching down to unbutton my shorts, before I stood up to pull them down leaving me in my matching bra and underwear. I looked down at him, reaching for him to stand up with me which he obeyed. I was quick to pull his shirt over his head and throw it somewhere in the sand before attacking his lips with mine once again as he began taking his pants off.
"This is really stupid." He laughed as I pulled him by his hand into the water screaming as the cold waves splashed up onto me.
"well then we'll be stupid together." I said pulling his body closer to mine to keep me warm as we made it waist deep.
"so.. are we okay now?" I asked looking up to meet his gaze, our arms still around each other. We seemed to be okay but it was still hard to tell how he felt. I really have forgiven him and I just want him to do the same for himself. But knowing he feels this way kind of let's me know he wouldn't dream of doing it again.
"We're good baby." He replied caressing my back, looking at me lovingly. "we're good." He repeated before leaning down to kiss me.
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John went up about 10 minutes ago and I stayed down at the beach so that we wouldn't walk in at the same time incase anyone was awake. He texted me saying he had made it in without waking Olivia so I decided it was my time to walk in.
I made my way up to our door, careful not to make any noise as I tip toed my way to my bedroom door. I can't believe we actually pulled this off without waking anyone.
"Katy?" I stopped dead in my tracks, my hand on the doorknob, and slowly turned to be met by Olivia. "Where have you been? I heard the door open and came out to see what was up?"
"ummm, I.. uh, hmmm I need to go." I said quickly bursting through my door and slamming it shut. I leaned against the door heavily breathing knowing she was still going to question me about this in the morning. Dammit why can't I lie without freaking out? It's okay, I have until tomorrow morning to figure this out.
