Butterfly (Bucky x Reader)

Doubts

You ate angrily at supper time, and no one said a word. There was silence across the table. Pepper seemed upset as well. Bucky looked like he felt like a heel, as did Steve for agreeing with Bucky. You got up when you were done and stormed upstairs and locked the door behind you. You meant serious business when you said he was sleeping on the couch. You grabbed a bottle of water, some strawberries and an apple and went into the bedroom, closing and locking the door. You got into your nest and had a good cry. To you, if you stopped working that meant that they would kick you out of the compound, and you didn't want to risk that. You half wanted Bucky to storm in, apologize and kiss you, and you would let him back in the nest. You heard him come in and huff, and knock on the door, but you didn't answer. You then heard the TV turn on, so you turned on your music and turned it on loudly, so he knew you were still upset with him. But really, you were just drowning out the silence of words that had been left unsaid. At this point, you'd settle for a well thought out apology. No groveling needed. You barely slept, the tv played all night. When you got up, you were groggy and now angry that you were pregnant because you could use an energy drink right about now. Even a coffee would do. You decided to skip the shower and used the bedroom entrance to go to the bathroom. You locked the living room entrance to the bathroom while you were at it. You did your morning ritual, except the shower and walked back into your bedroom to change for the day. You didn't feel like dressing up, so you settled on leggings, a sweater, and a pair of uggs. You walked out to the living room and Bucky wasn't there. You pouted a little, missing that connection you had, but you had to remain firm. There was no place here for you at the compound if you didn't work. You went to the main compound's employee cafeteria and grabbed what you wanted from the cold section and refilled your trusty water bottle with ice and water. You received looks, but you didn't care. You then went straight to the office where you sat down and pulled out your laptop and ate while you worked. Lily, your wolf, was howling inside your head. She understood the importance of taking a stance against Bucky at this point. But she missed her mate too.

You were just finishing breakfast and sending off reports when you heard a knock. You looked up and saw Loki standing there with his eyebrows up.
"Good morning pet, you were missed at breakfast this morning" he said as he came in.
"I grabbed something cold from the employee cafeteria" you pushed the plastic wrapping of a sandwich into the trash.
"We had your favorite, eggs benedict" he came into the room more and you groaned at having missed out on that. "Not to worry, I'll request it again tomorrow" he took the seat across from you that Bucky usually sat in.
"I don't know that I'll be joining you tomorrow either," you said, feeling hollow on the inside. You had never fought with Bucky like this before, and it was killing you.
"It's a shame, what do I have to do to get you there?" he asked.
"There's nothing that YOU can do, Loki. This isn't about you" you told him gently. "If I'm not working, then I don't belong here" you reminded him.

"I think the entire team would fight you on that, including the gentleman who's warring with himself out in the woods this morning" he smirked.
"He went on a run without me?" you asked, your voice going icy cold.
"I don't think he could handle the cold shoulder much longer, and needed to get out his more wolfish urges" he looked taken aback at the coldness in your voice. He knew where your mind was going now. It was a rash decision, but you figured you wouldn't be missed. "Don't do anything rash love."
"I'll be just as protected at Shield" you shook your head, and reached for the phone. Steve walked in and saw the anger in your face. The line connected quickly.
"Director Fury" Fury said on the other end of the line.
"Hi Nick" you said with a small smile. "I was wondering if that offer was still on the table to work for you again?" you asked.
"No, hang up the phone," Steve said.
"It sounds like your employer doesn't want to let you go" Nick chuckled. "My door is always open to you Y/N" Fury said.
"I'm not hanging up the phone, I need employment" you glared at Steve.
"Is she serious?" Steve looked at Loki who nodded.
"Deadly," he said.
"Can I have my own room again?" you asked Fury without missing a beat.
"I never let anyone else touch it, it's too close to my on site quarters" Fury chuckled. "Does this have something to do with a fight with your fiancée? Because you can work for Steve from here and no one will know a thing" he offered.
"Deal, I'll be moving there this evening" you said.
"I'll send the moving truck" he said.
"Oh, and Nick? Can you take me for a good run too please?" you asked sweetly.
"Sure, little wolf" he chuckled and the phone was suddenly wrenched from your hand and Steve took over.

"She's not coming," he said in his captain's tone. You hit the speaker phone and rolled your eyes at him.
"The hell she's not" Nick said as though you had already signed contracts. "I'll be sending over the contract today."
"No, we will double her salary and give full paid maternity leave, but we are not letting her go" Steve said.
"I can triple it" Fury edged him on.
"Then I'll triple it too" Steve said looking at you while you were looking at him stunned.
"I'll give her a house for her and her pups" Fury said with a smile in his voice.
"I can do that too, and make sure it's always protected" Steve said.
"Y/N, where do you choose?" Fury asked. "My offer will always be open," he said.
"Choose us, love," Loki said softly, taking your hand and looking at you imploringly.

"Please choose us," Steve said in desperation.
"Nick, I think I'll have to call you back" you finally gave in.

"I'll always answer," Fury promised and hung up.
"You can't leave us," Steve pleaded as soon as the phone disconnected.
"Yes, I can. Don't make this so hard" you frowned.
"I'm keeping my promise, and backdating your pay," he said. "I'll get you a house if that's what you need with twenty four hour security" he added.

"I want a new room" you said, tears at your waterline. He looked down and sighed. "Bucky will kill me, but okay," he said. "You can have my room," he said.
"I want a room close to Loki," you shook your head.
"I'll talk to Tony" Steve nodded and left the room.
"You're still thinking about leaving" Loki said the obvious.
"My mate hurt me" you started to cry and Loki wrapped his arms around you. "It's not just coddling me, it's not apologizing, it's the distance between us" you cried. "He won't let me go outside, and all I want to do is go for a run."
"Shh pet, I'll take you for a run. I'll even change my form" he promised. "Right after work tonight. Will we be eating with the team?" he asked softly.
"No, I don't want to," you shook your head. "Can we go out?" you asked him.
"I'll buy" he grinned. "I'll stay for the day," he said, getting comfortable.
"Thank you, Loki" you smiled at him, wiping your tears.

Bucky never came to work, Steve grumbled about him going to the gym for the day. It felt like he was putting more distance between the two of you. You were at a stand still, that much was obvious. Loki had joined you at the employee cafeteria for lunch, and Steve seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. You could tell like he felt like he was in the middle, but that was not your intent. You wanted to tell him as much, but he dismissed you early since you had finished all the reports. You went back to your suite, since Tony hadn't found a room yet apparently, and you fixed your makeup and gave Melody and Alpine a kiss, filled up their kibble dish, and left again.
Loki took you to a restaurant, regardless of your appearance, and he escorted you in with a smirk. You felt a little out of place, but he changed his appearance to match yours. He pulled out your seat for you and you sat down. You both had a wonderful dinner with Loki and when you got back to the compound he took you to the woods and you got undressed and Loki changed to a wolf form. The two of you went for a run and you let out forlorn howls. Loki let out a few of his own. It was like he could feel your pain as well. You felt like you were being rejected, but in a way you were rejecting his ideals. He wanted you to stay away from work, but again, in your mind, you had to work to be able to be there. It isn't the nineteen forties anymore, and you had the right to work. You weren't married, engaged yes, but not married. And now, you didn't know if you ever would be.
You and Loki went back to where you had left your clothes and changed your forms and got dressed again.
"Do you feel better, pet?" Loki asked softly.
"In a world full of people, I still feel alone without my mate" you admitted solemnly.
"You're not alone, I'm right here with you," Loki assured you. "Friends to the end and all that," he added.
"I'm glad I have you Loki, you've been such a good friend to me. Thank you," you said softly as the two of you started heading back inside.
"Care to sleep in my quarters this evening?" Loki offered.
"Maybe you can take Bucky? I need my nest" you blushed.
"I'll extend an invitation" he promised.
"Thank you" you hugged him and the two of you walked back into the compound and headed upstairs to your rooms. Bucky wasn't in your suite, so you locked the doors to the bedroom and bathroom and cried yourself to sleep in your nest.