𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤

Spider Crisis

Parings → Peter Parker x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings → Swearing, labor pains, unhinged Peter Parker energy, dangerously high cuteness levels.

Summary → Peter goes on patrol just for a few hours. Of course, that's when the baby decides to arrive.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

Peter hovered by the window of your shared apartment, half in his suit, half in his guilt.

"Babe," he said for the third time in five minutes, "I really don't have to go tonight. The city can handle itself for one day. One. It's not like crime takes attendance."

You, sitting on the couch with a pillow wedged under your massive belly and ankles the size of baby elephants, gave him a look only a nine-months-pregnant woman could give.

"You've been pacing like a caffeinated squirrel for the past hour, Peter. Go. On. Patrol," you said, pointing at the window like you were sending him to the gallows. "The baby's not coming tonight."

He crossed his arms and tilted his head. "You don't know that. You're basically a ticking time bomb. A very cute, glowing, waddling time bomb."

"Go, Parker. I need to pee in peace for once."

He groaned, pulling up the suit and putting on the mask over his head. "Fine. But if I miss the birth, I'm blaming you and naming our child something traumatizing. Like... Parsnip."

"Peter Benjamin Parker, I swear on all that is holy, if you name our kid Parsnip, I will throw you off the Empire State Building."

"So romantic," he deadpanned, but blew you a kiss. "Love you!"

"Love you too. Be safe, Webhead."

He winked and leapt out the window, swinging into the night.

Big. Mistake.

---

You were halfway through watching a rerun of Gilmore Girls with Aunt May when the couch felt a little... squishier than normal.

Then came the warm gush.

Then the Oh no.

Then the Oh crap.

"Oh my god. May," you whispered, voice shaking. "M-My water just broke."

May nearly dropped her mug. "WHAT?!"

"I think the baby's coming. Oh-ow-okay, yeah, I think-YUP-contraction. Definitely a contraction!"

May was already grabbing your hospital bag with one hand and calling Peter with the other.

"Okay, we're fine. We're fine," she said like she was trying to convince herself. "Just breathe, sweetheart. We'll get you to the hospital. Peter will meet us there. It's gonna be okay."

But Peter wasn't answering.

One call.
Two calls.
Three.

Voicemail. Voicemail. Voicemail.

May gritted her teeth, muttering, "That boy better not be stuck in another stupid bank..."

At the Bank - Somewhere in Queens

"Karen, what's my perimeter looking like?"

"All suspects are currently incapacitated except for one hiding behind the third ATM," Karen replied in her ever-calm tone.

Peter dodged a flying bag of coins and webbed up the guy's foot, yanking him out. "Gotcha! See? Quick and easy. The police could have handled it. I told her it'd be fine if I-"