The walking cliche

Bonus: Snake's cooking lesson

Snake

"Alright you bunch of girls, it's about time I taught you guys how to do this shit." I told all of my friends who were leaning against the counter with a bored expression on their faces. Except for Chase and Tessa. Chase seemed genuinely interested and Tessa looked a little frightened.

"Why am I here?" Code whined.

"Because college starts in a few months and you all lack a basic life skill, that's why." I answered him in a way a drill sergeant would be proud.

"I thought we were going out, not playing housewives. This is bull." Gwen said. She couldn't leave if she wanted to, I'd locked the door. Derrick had leant me the key to his restaurant so I had a big kitchen to work with. Keeping my friends hostage like this was a great bonus.

"Fine, let's just get to the part where we can eat stuff." Jill said reluctantly.

"I can't cook at all so I'm in." Tessa told us.

"Good, you're officially the only one I like in this room right now." I said and she beamed at me as if I was a teacher who'd given her an A.

"Fine, yay cooking. At least tell me we're gonna do something extreme like Epic meal time." Jake said after he woke up from his daydream. Probably about someone not wearing clothes. Probably about the girl he was in love with even though he'd punch me and stayed in denial whenever I mentioned it.

"YES! Let's make a lasagne made out of everything! And then double it. And then fry it. And then put bacon on it! I love bacon." Code exclaimed.

"I love bacon too! Besties!" Jill squealed, held Code's hands and jumped around with Code because they were twelve year old girls.

"I'm sorry you had to see that side of me." Jill whispered to Chase afterwards. This was probably more embarrassing to her than doing a walk of shame.

"What are we making?" Tessa asked.

"Great question, pet! We're gonna make an entree, a main course and dessert." I told the group of morons firmly.

"Psh, you're such a boner. My idea of an entree is a plate of cheese and dessert is ice cream with chocolate sauce. Skip to the main meal, alright?" Jill was so cocky that I wondered how Chase wasn't jealous of the amount of cock. I know I was.

"I'm not a big fan of cheese." Chase said.

"What?! How could you say that? This is a crisis situation. I don't know if I can live with someone who doesn't appreciate Brie." Jill said dramatically.

"See! This idea of yours is ruining relationships! Let's go out and drink until we make fish jealous!" Gwen told us.

"Jill, Chase, sort your shit out. Although, I'm with Jill on this one." I told them. Nobody needs a cheese hater in his life.

"You didn't really answer Tessa's question." Jake chimed in, defending the girl who he definitely wasn't falling for. Right.

"The theme is gonna be booze." I said and had to wait until Gwen was done cheering. "We're starting off with shrimp bruschetta with limoncello."

"Ooh, nice." Jill commented while wiggling her fingers like... well I don't know what that gesture was supposed to be but it looked a little freaky.

"Alright, I need a peel team, a chopping team and a prep team. I will choose who belongs to what team because I'm the fucking boss of this kitchen and you guys would start a fight if I'd let you have free reigns." I explained.

"Technically, Chase and I are the boss." Code said.

"Fine, then you guys can be the peel team." I shot back.