The walking cliche

You've seen my toilet skills

Jake

'Gotta say Code, it's pretty impressive." I told Code. We were in his bathroom and Snake had just arrived.

"I know." He replied with a smug look on his face.

"Seriously, you should take a picture." Snake added. "Where are the girls? If they're drinking without us I'll pull their hair."

"Gwen's running late. Jill is somewhere in the house." Code said without diverting his eyes.

"A quick pork before the party. Go Jill." I said and laughed at Code's disgusted face. It was Code's birthday so we were gonna get wasted like we always did. Traditions are important.

"I'm here! Why are we in the bathroom?" Gwen said. She was holding a few bottles of tequila and I immediately forgave her for being late.

"Look what Code did." I pointed towards the toilet bowl.

"You guys are staring at Code's shit like it's a naked Emma Watson? Seriously?" Gwen groaned.

"But look at how big it is! It's glorious." Code was still in awe. We'd found him staring at his toilet bowl when we got here and now we were all mesmerized. It definitely was something to be proud of. Plus it was a birthday poo. This was a rare moment and had to be treasured.

"I'm definitely too sober for this. Where's our Jillbilly?" Gwen asked no one in particular.

"Schtupping Chase." I grinned. It earned me a punch from Code but I definitely deserved it.

Gwen laughed and gave me a high five. "I'm so proud." She looked like a proud mom and I mimicked her expression, wiping away an invisible tear.

"As you should be." I told Gwen dramatically.

"Alright, let's get this started. Ugh, are we still looking at your poop?" Jill appeared and Gwen and I shared a look when we realised Jill seemed a bit out of breath.

"It seems like you've been running a marathon, Jill." Gwen teased her.

"Yeah, Jill. I didn't know you were into sports." I added with a smirk.

"It wasn't a marathon, more like a sprint." She answered us with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I really feel like hugging you right now." Gwen told her.

"Don't. I'm still sober." Jill deadpanned.

"Guys, what do I do? I can't just flush this beauty." Code pouted.

"I can." Jill said and flushed the toilet. Code dropped to his knees and gave a dramatic scream. Snake patted his shoulder carefully while Code pretended to cry.

"What was that? I heard someone scream." Chase came running towards the bathroom.

"I flushed." Jill explained.

"Oh. Don't worry buddy, there will be other shits." Chase told his younger brother.

"But it was so beautiful." Code told him.

"I know, Code. We all know. Now be a man and celebrate the fact that you survived this long in this world." Chase said. "God knows I never expected it." He whispered on his way out so Code wouldn't hear.

"Isn't he joining us?" I asked curiously.

"I think he already had a little celebration today." Gwen said while pointed at Jill.

"Okay okay, we get it. Moving on." Jill pretended to be annoyed but struggled to keep her face neutral.

"Yes, we're moving on. Enough grieving." Code said and got up. We all went to his living room because five people in the bathroom was gettng a little crowded.