The walking cliche

It's like Hitler but with romance

"This is gonna bite you in the ass and not in the good way." Snake said before taking a drag.

We were leaning against the school building while having a little smoke. I'd told Snake about my deal with Tessa.

He was worried about it but I was pretty confident I'd win this challenge. The only thing that bugged me was the fact that I couldn't hook up with anyone while this challenge was going. If any, it gave me more motivation to win this thing.

"So how are you gonna do this?" Snake asked curiously.

I opened my mouth to say something but the words got stuck somewhere along the way. I actually had no idea how I was gonna do this.

"I don't know, I'll pull some romantic crap and she'll get sick of it. Jill and Gwen don't like romance either." I shrugged.

Snake snorted. "That's because Jill and Gwen are Jill and Gwen."

He was right. Their minds weren't wired like typical girly girls. What's the point in having girl friends when they don't even think like girls? I'd still ask for their suggestions though, anything that could help.

"True." I answered Snake.

"There's only one thing you can do that'll guarantee you some answers." Snake said. If he was gonna suggest to ask my mom, I'd respectfully decline. She'd get the wrong idea.

"What's that?" I sighed.

"Google it." Snake deadpanned. I laughed. Such a simple yet genius answer.

"Obviously! I could read some romantic crap from movies like The Notepad and stuff like that." I started brainstorming. This was definitely gonna work.

"Did you just say romantic crap?" Gwen said. She and Jill were walking towards us. It seemed as if they'd given up on their classes too.

"Quick survey. What's your idea of romance?" I asked the girls in front of me. I knew my attempts were futile. Gwen and Jill scrunched their nose and started thinking.

"Romance is doing the same person over and over again and not get bored." Gwen stated. It was a mistake asking the girl with commitment issues for advice on romance but it was worth a try.

At least Jill had somewhat of a love life with Code's brother. They hadn't made it official or anything but I was pretty sure they were bonking. A part of me wanted her to date a guy like that. Her previous boyfriends were dickheads.

"Romance is laughing at other's people misery together?" Jill asked. Why was she even asking me? Obviously she didn't know. Jill and I were too realistic, too cynical. We didn't believe in the magic that two people could create together.

That sounded pretty romantic. I needed to remember that one.

"Thanks for the help. You guys just think with your imaginary dicks." I deadpanned. They didn't even deny it.

I briefly explained my encounter with Tessa and let's just say the girls weren't as confident as I was.

"It's gonna be hard breaking the lovey dovey girls. It starts at a young age, molded by Disney princes and later on by romantic movies. It's ingrained in the deepest parts of their souls. They're brainwashed. It's like Hitler but with romance." Jill said eerily, her green eyes locked on mine.

"Thanks for believing in me, Jill." I took another drag from my cigarette.

"So what's your reward if you win? Are you gonna get laid? Think about getting laid as your motivation, Jake. You can do this. Do it for your soldier." Gwen tried to motivate me. I wondered how she knew I'd named my joystick soldier.