The walking cliche

I'll make sure to use his testicles as golfballs

Jake

Holy crap on a biscuit. I was so relieved that dreadful moment was over. I was definitely never gonna sing a song in front of anyone ever again.

I'd rather people call me Susan and put my hand in a socket than doing that one again.

I didn't want to do it to begin with but Parker had convinced me it was the right move. In hindsight, it was but at the moment itself I was slowly dying.

Writing the song and playing it on the uke had been fine but singing really wasn't for me. Although it did make me feel like drinking out of a coconut and wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

"You're the worst friend ever. You should've recorded it. I could've released it on the internet! The possibilities are endless. Dude, you suck." Snake groaned when I told him about my little adventure. I hadn't told anyone until I got it over with. Because of these kinds of reactions.

"Yes, I should be ashamed of myself. Boo, me." I deadpanned.

"Did she put out? I would've." Snake asked.

"Thank you for that mental image." I shuddered. "And no, we were in the forest."

"That's no excuse. Animals do it in the forest all the time." Snake shared his words of wisdom.

"So did I. A long, long time ago." I sighed. I missed screwing around. Especially in nature. It made you feel so free.

"I feel you, man." Snake patted my shoulder.

"No you don't. Guys put out more easily. Be glad you're gay." I complained.

"Come to the gay side, we're fabulous." Snake snorted.

"Stop trying to convert me, you moron." I joked and Snake barked out a laugh. We were at my place so he could talk about it openly. He still hadn't told his parents but truth be told, I totally understood. His parents would freak the fuck out.

"I really am a moron." Snake said and looked in the distance. Wow, the guy could get dramatic if he wanted to.

"Go on." I told him.

"I almost went to buy a slushie this week." He confessed. I burst out laughing. Moron wouldn't even cover it.

"I would expect this from Code but you? Actually, this shouldn't surprise me." I laughed.

"Code told a few people he peed in it but they didn't believe him." Snake told me.

"That's just beautiful. And hey, no nudity this time." I high fived Snake.

"Too bad." He grinned.

"You know, Snake, sometimes I don't know whether you're joking or not." I pondered.

"Me neither." He laughed.

"What are you up to tonight?" I asked him.

"Work. It's been busy in the restaurant." Snake told me. He wasn't complaining though, he loved it. "You?" He asked me.

"I'm bringing the uke back to Parker and since I'll be in Cambridge, maybe I'll stop by a party. It would be a shame not to." I explained. Parker had been acting like a concerned mom giving up on her baby when it came to his ukulele. Weird guy. I still couldn't stand him though. Our relationship was strictly professional.

"I would disown you if you didn't." Snake agreed.

"Always looking out for me." I rolled my eyes.

Snake left shortly after and I didn't wait much longer to go see Parker. Since I was taking my bike I made a little detour. Actually, I made two detours because I forgot his freaking uke the first time. I wasn't planning on seeing Mr. Douchebag more than I needed to.