It's Simple. I use you. You use me.

Chapter 14

Tuesday

It was lunch break. I thought back to first period. Ethan had not looked at me once. 

Was he mad about last night?

When he had asked me to go watch him at his baseball practice, it surprised me. Of course I had to say I couldn't go. He should have known I would say that. I mean, all we've been was a secret. No one knew the bad things we did...they couldn't know. I wanted it more than anything for us to be together more than we were now. Of course I didn't want what we were having, but he was still with Heather. I knew he wouldn't choose me over her...he couldn't. I mean she was Heather. The school was all about her and her family. I could imagine all the words that would blow up once people found out about what me and Ethan were doing...

Slut. Whore. Hoe. 

I could feel the pain form into tears from the words. It would hurt more to not be with Ethan, however, even if it was only a second. For now, being a secret was all we could be. 

Maybe I should go to his practice? Thinking about all these things made me miss him again. 

But he was mad at me... that would only explain for this morning. 

My mind kept going back and forth. 

What if people saw me? Would they ask me questions? Ask me why I was there? Who was I there for? What right I had to be there? 

I can't go, I told myself. He didn't need me. 

The lunch bell rang. I decided to leave my answer to how I left it with Ethan. I threw away my trash and walked to class. 

Ethan didn't look at me again when fourth period came. Not even a small glance..nothing. My heart starting tugging in a not-so-good way. Then, the bell rang and he walked out with his friends...leaving me with the painful feeling. 

When I got home, I grabbed a quick snack and decided to go start on my homework. I wanted to go to sleep early today. I've been feeling really tired lately, even dozing off in some of my classes. 

I opened my notebook and textbooks to start, but that didn't last very long when my mind went back to Ethan again. 

I checked the clock. 4:30. Ethan's baseball practice didn't end until 6:00. 

That weird feeling still didn't go away. I kept tapping my pen against the notebook, and scribbling Ethan's name. Maybe I should go see him?

I threw my pen down and tied on my Nike's. With a sweater thrown over my tank top and cotton shorts, I went back to school to see Ethan. 

20 minutes later, and I was at the baseball field. I stood behind one of the bleachers looking from a far. Ethan was up to bat. Coincidence? He hit the ball and ran to first base. 

Ethan's POV

My swings weren't that great today, but I still hit the ball. As I ran to first base, I saw Lucille stand behind one of the bleachers. I chuckled. Even with what she said, she came. I was tired of the game. Coach was pushing me again, and it was irritating me for some reason today. Don't get me wrong, he's an amazing coach, but I wasn't feeling it today. Therefore, my irritation just grew...until I saw Lucille. She looked so good in her shorts and sweater. I smiled. We made eye contact. All of a sudden, she turned around and walked away. My smile fell. I needed her.  

I made an excuse to take a break. 

"Coach, I don't feel good. I'm going to sit out," I yelled out. It was more a statement than a question. He gave me a skeptical look, but he knew I wasn't feeling it today. He just nodded. I ran off the field to catch up to Lucille.